The World's Most Unhappy Baby - Infant Care (up to 18 months old) Message Board

2fst · 07-08-2005, 03:29 PM

I think I gave birth to the most unhappiest baby. And I am going to go crazy. There are days I just don't know what to do. Basically every time he wakes, be it at night or from a nap, he wakes up screaming. And he will not stop until he gets a bottle. Even if he just ate an hour ago. We give him the bottle and if it is not feeding time he will just play with it. But we can't take it away because then he screams. Some times the pacifier will work but not always. He has a very hard time trying to figure out how to suck on it. But as time goes on and he is getting older I find myself getting more and more fusterated. I am home with this screaming baby who does not even care whether I love him or not. I love him so much but I find myself saying, SH or quiet or no crying all day. I feel like a broken record. Eventually I end up putting him down because I can't take it. I feel so bad for letting him cry but there is nothing I can do for him. I feel that if I let him cry and leave some where it is going to effect him badly when he is older. I don't want to establish a bad relationship with him but I feel like he doesn't want me to love him. I don't think it is colic because there are things that he enjoys and does not cry for. He loves to lay on his changing table. He also does not like his stroller but if you carry him facing outward outside so he can look around he is happy. And the other thing he loves is if Dh or I go in the tub with him and let him sit chest deep in water. He is content doing these things. And he is happy to have a bottle in his mouth. So I would doubt it is colic since those babies (I think) are crying in general. I just get so down and out. Everyone knows him as an unhappy baby already. Everyone else I know has these happy babies that are always smiling and cooing. Mine is a month old and does not smile. I think he is so unhappy that he won't. I try not to let these feelings on to him. DH and I never discuss him with other people when he is around. I know he doesn't understand yet but the I don't want him to feel the negative energy. I dread having people over, I can't take him anywhere. I love him so much but I just wish he would smile or somehow just be happy. It makes me so depressed.

sunnydayz05 · 07-08-2005, 03:36 PM

i wish i had some encouraging words to say to you, but my DS is a month old tomorrow and i am so clueless i wouldnt' be any help. thankfully i am living with my mom who knows what to do when i dont...he will sleep all day and be up all night, whichis hard because i can't sleeep during the day...so in a way i know what frustration feels like. i'll tell you like my mom tels me...it doesnt' stay like this forever...it will GET BETTER!

sweetpea333 · 07-08-2005, 07:42 PM

i can totally relate with you, 1 month old is really young he probably wont smile till 2 and a half... my daughter would cry the whole time she was awake until she was about 3 months old, the only thing she liked was the stroller or being carried back and forth, it is sooo frustrating, i used to think my baby hated me. but things eventually got better, and im sure they will for you too.

BioAdoptMom3 · 07-08-2005, 09:35 PM

Even though there are some things that calm him down, he could still have colic. It does truly sound like that is the case. I know it is frustrating for you because you want so much to make him happy and you can't. It is no personal reflection on you though. At one month old he can only express his needs and for some reason, he is either uncomfortable or irritable most of the time. It will get better! In the meantime I would strongly suggest that you get someone you trust to watch him, even if its only for an hour or two (the more the better) and get out either with your dh or alone. It really will do you a lot of good and make you an even better and more effective mom when you return. I cannot stress that enough! Caring for a newborn is hard work, you have raging hormones still I am sure and you need a break! It will do you both some good.

Nancy

CUtigress · 07-08-2005, 10:48 PM

I gotta say your story sounds eerily familiar. My daughter was born May 9 so she is just about 2 months old. She's getting better though. She cried ALL the time and it took forever to get her to sleep because she got herself so worked up. It's funny you mention the changing table, that's the only time she would calm down too. She's gotten a lot better in the last two weeks or so. She went on a 10-hour straight crying spell one time and we were so worried we took her to the doctor, who assured us it was just colic after a thorough exam. Sometimes we found she was gassy and the Mylicon drops helped occasionally; the best thing was to put her on my leg, chest down, and pat her bottom. But sometimes it isn't gas-related at all and she is just inconsolable. The last couple of weeks, the crying spells are a lot shorter and she's starting to smile. Give the cooing/smiling time, your son is still pretty young. I know it's frustrating, DH and I both got to tears several nights when she just wouldn't stop, and we'd take turns just getting out of the house to go on a walk or something because we couldn't take it. Don't feel guilty about putting your son down for short periods of time, you need some sanity!!! It DOES get better, and when your son does start to interact with you in a few more weeks with coos/smiles, you'll finally feel like you're making a difference.