Geez, you must all be busy, noone has been posting. We had a busy weekend with Easter and all, I feel so tired today because of it I think...or maybe it was all the yummy food and chocolate that is making me sleepy.
Today I sat Kaden down next to a laundry basket of clothes I just folded and needed to put away, while I looked for an outfit for him...and he pulled himself up onto his knees using the basket...so thats his newest trick...looks like his crib mattress is going to be lowered this week to the lowest setting...I raised the siderails but even when he stands up next to them all he needs to do is lean over and he could easily fall out...so now that he figured out how to pull himself up I'm not going to take any chances. I think it'll be a bit before he is pulling himself all the way up and all the time, but the sooner I change his bed height the sooner I can relax about it.
The other night before he went to bed we were cuddling on the couch and I looked at him...I mean REALLY looked at him and I can't beleive how much he is growing up! He doesn't look like my little baby boy anymore, his facial features are changing so much and he is getting to be such a big boy...it brought tears to my eyes. And lastnight I peeked in at him before I went to bed and he looked so grown up already, I mean I know he's not quite 8 months yet (a couple more days) but when I think back to when he was first born and look at him now I'm amazed at how much he has grown and changed.
DH ****** me off Friday. First he went out for a few beers after work without calling me. Then when he got home he started working on his car that hasn't been running for 3 weeks (so I've been stuck at home for 3 weeks and will continue to be until he gets his car fixed and can leave the other vehicle home for me) anyway I tried helping him out a bit with the car, but after awhile he started getting frustrated because he can't find a set of wrenches I used to use all the time and started blaming me that he can't fix the car because I lost all his tools (I saw the wrenches once since we've lived in this home and since I've left the job I used to use them at all the time so I know they are either somewhere in the house or garage or they were stolen)...then I picked up a piece of plastic that was on the engine and asked him where it was supposed to go and he started saying I probably broke it off somewhere when I was trying to help...so I told him to screw off and I went in the house. Eventually he came in because we were BBQing dinner so he got the stuff to BBQ and because I was mad I told him he could figure out what else to make for dinner because I wasn't since I can't do anything right...anyway to make a long story short he refused to and said I'd have to explain to Kierra why we were only having BBQed chicken and nothing else for dinner...and he kept pushing it and pushing it unil I blew up at him and asked how freakin hard it was to throw vegetables in the microwave and french fries in the oven as I was slaming and banging things around doing it myself knowing if I didn't that he wouldn't...I told him I am sick of him coming home from work in a pissy attitude and having us pay for it, and sick of doing EVERYTHING (from taking care of the kids, to the housework, to making his lunches, to absolutely everything) and feeling like I'm not appreciated and that I am taken for granted. The next day was our supposed 7 year wedding anniversary and I was still so ****** off that I couldn't have cared less. We didn't do anything to clebrate it and neither one of us bought the other anything...I told him last month that I was'nt buying him anything for our anniversary, his birthday and Fathers Day because he is going on a 5 day $800.00 golf trip in June...so he can consider that part of all those gifts.
Well, I should go, I have to figure out what to make with supper with all the leftover Easter ham we have. Hope you are all doing OK.
Mom to Kierra (born August 9/02)
and Kaden (born August 19/05)
Sorry for not posting for a while, I was in Vancouver for the last 10 days visiting family and friends. It was such a great break, I absolutely loved it, despite the fact that it rained almost everyday.
I'm glad to be back thought, I've missed DS's swing, like you wouldn't believe. Avery was waking up everyday at 6am, and it was soo hard. At least at home, we can put him in the swing and most often he will sleep for couple more hours. DH and I took turns in getting up w/ him, b/c he gets so mad if you don't get up w/ him. He hits, pulls hair and pinches, but as soon as you get up and take him to the livingroom, he is very happy to play by himself, but NOT if we have him sitting in our bed.
Not much has changed, Avery is very good now w/ pulling himself up to his knees too, today as I was packing he pulled himself up next to my suitcase and pulled half of my clothes out, it was cute but made packing that much longer. He is getting his 9th tooth, the back molar, small part is already pocking through the gum. He is constantly chewing on that side.
Kierrasmommy, too bad about your DH, the ups and downs of any relationship are so frustrating, I've definitly been there too. It's especially tough when it happens around an important time like an anniversary. Hang in there,
Wow, 9 teeth! Kaden still just has 2 and I don't see any signs of any news ones coming anytime soon.
Too bad about the rain in Vancouver, at least you had some time away, even if the weather was crappy a change of scenery is always nice.
DH and I are talking but I still am not happy....I feel every time he does things that really make me angry that I find myself pulling away and building a wall up around myself so he can't hurt me. I'm embarrased to say that last month when he got me angry I even dreamed about a client I had when I was working...LOL...it wasn't an orgasmic wet dream, just a simple dream but it was very romantic and loving and everything I find that is lacking in my marriage. A friend of mine said she has had dreams about other men too and it's normal...but I feel odd now that I have...I mean I didn't do anything in reality, but in my dream I cheated on my husband.
Well, I should go, it's a nice day out so I want to go for a walk today since I haven't an awhile.
Hope you all had a great weekend.
Mom to Kierra (born August 9/02)
and Kaden (born August 19/05)
Kierrasmommy, have you ever considered getting some counselling w/ your DH. You obviously have had a hard time to change things w/ him on your own, it may help to have that outsider give some tips. I know it can be expensive but there are ways where you can just pay what you can afford. It could be just what you need. You would have to do some phoneing around.
Don't feel bad about your dream, you can't control what happens, just enjoy it. I have them occasionally too. My DH is almost never in my dreams, and if he is he doesn't look like himself, lol. Sometimes my dreams are so exciting I feel like I don't really need him, lol.
We just came back from a play group, and the dentist's. I had my teeth cleaned. They feel soo smooth. I love it.
The cat peed on the stairs again, I just want to strangle the animal. The house sitter must have forgotten to put up the gate so he wouldn't go downstairs. The smell is horrible, AGAIN. Nothing says 'home' like cat pee. My DH refuses to put him in the kennel when we go away, b/c he is "too special" and it'd be too "traumatic". So instead, we remove the carpet, install hardwood floors, repaint, buy new furniture, etc. And somehow, I'm the unreasonable one!!!!
Well, that's my day so far. I hope yours is better.
Yes, I have considered couselling and would do it, and the last big argument DH and I had when I packed up some of my stuff I told him he had no choice, that he was going to counselling too whether he wanted to or not. I called around and got prices already. Then DH's work decided to make him work longer shifts and start a bit later than he had been so he now gets home at 7pm which doesn't leave much time for anything...but I haven't given up, next month he is changing his position at work so he can have an earlier shift so it will be much easier then. I know the problems are DH's lack of responsibility...he feels like he should be able to go out whenever he wants with no regard to our finances or notifing me of where he is. And I don't like the person he is when he drinks...if he just has one or two it's OK, but he can be an instigator when he drinks too much and it's almost as if he tries to get me mad on purpose. I have issues with drinking I guess because my parents were alcoholics and I don't see the logic in drinking yourself into a stupor. So when my DH drinks to that point I feel the resentment, humiliation and dissapointment that I felt when I'd see my parents like that...My Dad is a 5 year recovered alcoholic, but my mom still has issues.
Thats too bad about the cat peeing again...I know how hard it is to get that smell out too...it's almost impossible. We ended up buying a new couch not long after we met because DH's couch smelled like cat pee. Has your DH ever visited any pet kennels, some are really luxurious and really cater to the animals, he'd probably be surprised if he checked around. A friend of mine actually brings her dog to doggy day care! The dog goes there during the day once in a while so my friend can just have a break or if they are going to be away most of the day. And when they go out of town they have a kennel for their dog too...honestly a lot of kennels realize how important pets are to their owners so they really strive to make the most of it.
Well, I gotta go DH wants to go to bed so I need to turn off the computer...talk to you all soon.
P.S Thanks for listening to me, I always feel so much better when I'm able to confide in you all...I don't share alot of what I feel with others, so having you guys to talk to helps alot.
Mom to Kierra (born August 9/02)
and Kaden (born August 19/05)
It's good that you are considering couselling, how about weekends? These issues obiously make you unhappy, so you should make it number #1, also what you can do is initially see a counsellor by yourself, and then have your DH join in. It will also give you a chance to see how you like the person you'd be working with. When I was in school, we were given 4 couselling sessions for free, and it was the best thing I did for myself. She helped me deal w/ issues that I didn't even realize bothered me. It was good to talk to someone about life issues, get some insight. Our university also had students that were training to be counsellors that you could see for free, but the person I got just didn't give me the help that I needed. So it really is a trial and error.
I totally agree w/ you about the kennels. There is only 2 or 3 in the small town where we live, but the one where I left my dog once is great. It's bright, clean and smells great. The section that they have for cats is also nice w/ big window and large area for them to walk around and climb. I told DH about it couple years ago, but he just said that he doesn't want his precious cat locked in a small cage all day or irritated by other cats. The animal sleeps all day, where does he need to go??? However, this time, he finally said that he will CONSIDER the kennel, (or finding someone else, sigh). Gosh, how long will the animal live?? DH finally agreed that we will not have another cat for a long time ( althougth he doesn't want to say never, I'm very comfortable saying NEVER!). We're going to Toronto next month, we'll see what happens.
It's finally sunny here, I'm going to go for a walk soon, talk to you later.
Joanne- I'm so sorry about your relationship with your dh..I agree with you and Kiedy that counselling would be a great thing. I personally haven't been to one but have heard great things about what they can do to help. Another option is your Pastor? i have friends who "meet" with their Pastor about some issues.
I hope in the end things work out between you two.
I have some wild dreams too, so don't feel bad
Troy's top tooth hasn't poked through yet but it's there!
I had him weighed and measured yesterday and he's 23lbs 12oz and 30in.
He's eating great..I'm still not giving him a lot of table foods..the odd potato..pasta..and cheerios. I think it's a matter of me making decent meals all the time..dh works shift work and on his day shift he gets home at 8:30pm and Troy is fast asleep by then and I know i could make dinner early and he could heat it up but i guess i like to make it warm for him.
Troy is still sleeping great...some nights he'll wake up for a few minutes but not long..I went in last night and he was sleeping in his side with his arm stuck through the crib! I put him back onto his back and when I went in this morning he was on his tummy! So i'm not sure if he went back to his side and slept like that all night or on his tummy..his right cheek was rosy red!
He's starting to try and pull himself up too...and as for crawling he hasn't done that..he will flop forward and rock on his arms and that's it!
Well...dh and I are going to the city to do some shopping!
Take Care everyone and talk to you soon!
IUI's-4 to conceive Troy July 25/05
m/c *angel* 10 weeks July/04
IUI's-2 for bfp Sept 27/07