any moms with high-need babies? - Infant Care (up to 18 months old) Message Board

Momof2kids2005 · 10-10-2005, 09:02 AM

i think my baby is high-need he is 7 1/2 months, he is very sensitive if we would go somewhere & something bothered him he would stop drinking to scream. If i am taking care of my daughter and he wakes up from his nap he screams like he is dying if i don't answer him as soon as he wakes up. there are days he is the most happiest baby but it changes in an instant. we can't go anywhere he screams we couldnt even go to church if music is playing he screams and nothing can soothe him if we tried bottle he would let it gurgle in his mouth and scream. if we go out and anyone tried talking to him he would cry but sometimes he smiles at other people it's only when he is upset he don't want to be bothered by others. sometimes i put him in his room in his crib cause i need a break & he will squeal and be the happiest baby why does he like to be by hisself? There are time he poops and wont cry if i dont smell it on him then there are times he will scream like he is dying and there is nothing wrong he was fed & changed and stuff. he lays on floor and plays then kicks his feet and screams and it's hard on me cause i have a toddler and he doesn't make it easy on me either. he has more screams "tantrums" then my daughter and she is almost 2. it's like he tries to hold his bottle sometimes not always but when he cant cause he holds it and pulls it out of his mouth so i hold his hands and he will get mad and scream it's like he can't have his way. my hubby fed him and went to put his pants on and he screams real loud. he use to get mad cause we go to put his diaper on & he wants to touch hisself & get's mad and lifts his legs to his stomach and then kicks his legs down so we cant put diaper on. anyway i am just venting cause i want to know if anyone else has a child like this? he is 7 1/2 months. does he sound like high-need? i justr don't remember my daughter being like is as i know all kids are different.

2fst · 10-10-2005, 09:57 AM

Sounds just like my DS. We joke that he has bi-polar disorder. He can go from happy to screaming murder in a spilt-second. He is generally a happy smilley baby but don't **** him off. For example, if we accidently bump his head the slightest bit he screams but if he bumps his own head most times it is no big deal. Or if he was playing and we talk to him and he didn't want to be bothered he screams. He will scream like he is dying if something sudden happens, like if we sneeze (his sneezes are okay), or talk when the house is quiet, or if he hears velcor or anything like it. He crys if he thinks he is being made fun of, as in if you copy a noise he made. Don't ever wake him up and never disturb him while he is eating. He can be so immpossbile and then sometimes you would never know. We took him for his first pictures the other day and smiled and everything and was so perfect. He doesn't like the car and mearly tolerates it. So if we are to do something that sets him off in car, he crys so hard and loud we have to stop and take him out of the car seat and out of the car. So if you see a blue car all of a sudden pull off the road and some red faced person jumps out with a screaming child, it is us. He is only 4 months old and our only child so we are able to jump for his demands. The way we deal with it, is by praising him when he is good and not saying much when he is throwing a fit. We do our best to find out what is bothering him and soothe him but we also talk to him about what happened. I hope someday that will pay off. Did you DS start out this way or was it more gradual?

Momof2kids2005 · 10-10-2005, 10:17 AM

hey i am so glad to have found someone who is in my shoes. yes he has always been very sensitive from the start how about your DS? We sometimes had to leave church cause he was screaming so bad. then once or twice we went to church & he was fine so go figure

does it ever get to you? i know i have lot's going on cause i have a toddler too and she is gonna need therapy for certain stuff cause she is behind, and he doesn't like when you don't have your eyes on him 24/7. my daughter was just very gentle and a very good baby she would never tell me what she wanted and him he cries no i am sorry screams even if all his needs are met. we were out to the store and i had to take my daughter out of her carseat to change her & he started screaming cause i was taking care of her i guess

it's hard especially since i have 2 and i don't want anymore cause of this experience. I keep telling myself he will get better but he doesn't he now can roll over and fight me when he doesnt want to be changed or wear clothes and is sitting at times except when he wants to be on his belly he is rocking at times like ready to crawl. he kicks his feet real hard on the floor and screams cause i am in kitchen which is connected to our living room. also he has this grunting laugh when i change his poop but other times he will scream cause he pooped but he acts like i am not gonna change him. Have you ever told your pedi about your son? i am not sure if i should tell my pedi...i am afraid when i switch him to cup later on will he have a big tantrum cause he doesnt get his bottle and when he screams sometimes there are no tears just screaming. oh yeah it's ok too when he squeals loud in car & keeps his sister up when she's tired but when he needs his rest and we make any sounds he screams real bad. now he is use to sounds kinda but he use to scream real bad cause i would use my hairdryer or vaccuum cleaner. My mom acts like he doesn't do anything well she don't take care of 2 all day long. she favors her boys though

sorry i am still venting...

Momof2kids2005 · 10-10-2005, 10:26 AM

btw we joke too that our son has bi-polar too i have said that a few times for the way he acts it sounds too familiar

rouge · 10-10-2005, 11:52 AM

My son was the exact same way. It started all of a sudden though. He was very calm and quiet for the first 3 months and then all heck broke loose. One day I went downstairs to put the laundry in the dryer. I heard the loudest, shrillest scream ever. I ran as fast as I could up stairs. I though he was hanging from his bouncy seat by his neck the scream was sooo loud. When I ran into the room he looked at me and smiled. From that point on he realized how to get moms attention right away. I called him high need after that. He is now two and is exhausting. I remeber the diaper changing battles. We had to stop using the table becasue he fought me so hard I thought he would fall off. I hope my next is more laid back. I can't imagine going through all that again. I felt your pain.