I know, I know, it's my fault, but help! - Infant Care (up to 18 months old) Message Board

nyxin · 01-29-2006, 08:04 AM

ok-- no need to point out that i have done this to myself, but if there is any one out there that could help me fix this situation.

the problem is that i can not get my 10 month old to fall asleep or go back to sleep with out a bottle. with my forst son, i NEVER NEVER NEVER left a bottle in there with him, he never got any blankets inhis crib, no pillow, the works. with #2 and the dynamic of dealing with #1, any business and running the house, i am totally exhausted. DS falls right asleep with the bottle, no problems at all. He does have a pacifier, but isn't too fond of it, kinda hit or miss. both boys share a room, so i don't want the little one blowing his lid and making it horrible for the 2 1/2 year old. so as of right now, Momo (Morgan) gets a bottle at bed time, wakes up at midnight for another, and again at about 4 am for another. as you can imagine he is pretty soaked by morning. he eats all day long, and i really push the solids in the evening, i have tried nothing but warm water so he doesn't think there is much to wake up for, tried to sooth with the paci, not much there. he acts as though he is actually starving. is this possible? there has been about 3 times in nearly 11 months that i have slept through the night. i am soooo over this!
HELP!!!

dizzygirl · 01-29-2006, 11:23 AM

Oh, boy do I feel your pain. Ds is 9 months old, and can't get to sleep with out nursing and me laying there with him. He too is up all night nursing as well. I know that some people will tell you to let them CIO, but I can't do that, not interested at all. I will look back to see what people suggest, I could use the help too, I am soooooooooo tired!

Gayle0000 · 01-29-2006, 12:25 PM

We have let our daughter CIO & have been doing it for about a month. We swaddled her at bedtime & did the last feeding, and that was the only way she would go to sleep...swaddled and full stomach. Our pediatrician said to stop that (at 4 month checkup) because she needed to learn to put herself to sleep, so we started CIO that day of the Dr. appointment. CIO has worked awesome for us. It's been about 4 weeks now and I can put her in her crib wide awake...and is asleep on her own within 5-10 minutes now...she'll grunt and whine a little for that time, but otherwise bedtime is no problem now. About half the time she doesn't cry at all. I always offer the pacifier, but she doesn't take it much anymore. CIO only took about 4-5 days before we saw signifigant progress.

As for the middle of the night feedings...on that same night we started CIO, I quit feeding her at all hours, and changed it to letting at least 8-10 hours go by from the last feeding (per the pediatrician). I got a ton of slack on this board for saying this...people suggested I was starving the baby...but that couldn't be farther from the truth. Actually, Ava could have cared less whether she got fed in the middle of the night. She just had this internal alarm clock that told her she was going to get fed...so she woke up for it, and wasn't able to put herself back to sleep at that point.

Now, Ava will go to bed at 8:30am...she stirs around 3am but can settle herself just fine...and then wakes up to be fed somewhere between 5am-6am...then goes back to sleep until about 8:30-9am.

I'm not trying to convince you to let your baby CIO it it's not something you want to do...I'm saying it has worked like a charm for us.
Gayle

shelliam · 01-29-2006, 12:41 PM

I did the same thing as Gayle. DS now 2 did that to us for about 10 months and our dr told us to try CIO. He has been a great sleeper ever since. DD stopped at waking for 12 hours at about 4 or 5 months when we did this. She now sleeps from 9-8:30am. At 11 lbs they should be able to go all night without a feeding and are just waking out of habit. If my baby was underweight or needed special care I wouldn't let go without a feeding but she's healthy and plump. BTW it was alot harder for me to do this with DS he was older and he was my 1st so it was torchure to hear him cry. I helped myself alot by starting with DD as soon as she slept her first night through. DS slept 12 hours a night for about a week and it was over for 6 months until we stuck to our guns.I am thankful we did because I truly believe it still helps him at 2 yrs.

rouge · 01-30-2006, 07:59 AM

I just stopped the nursing all night. I rocked my son instead. Took a few days for him to get used to the new routine. Meaning he cried like a banchee. But I rocked him, kissed him, and reasured him that it was ok to sleep without eating. I never left him in a room to cry by himslef. Which is what CIO is. A baby crying in his loving moms arms is not crying it out. There are just times when you have to parent your children to sleep. If you keep doing what does not work for you, then you will be exhausted and that is not good for anyone. A baby learns more and does better and is less crabby when they get a full night of sleep. Most babies will not just sleep throught the night on their own. You have to show them how to do it. They have to break the habit of eating all night. When my son was crying all night to nurse, I knew it was becasue he was not used to it this way. It may seem like they are suffering but they are really just saying "Hey - what's going on here, where is my bottle". They are not in pain and once they get used to the schedule they will not be hungry at night. They will just eat more during the day.

It's: This, CIO, or doing what you are doing until they are 5. You have to decide. I have a friend with a 2 year old who wakes up over and over at night. She is crazy tired, but will not parent him to sleep. It's what each mom can do. Buy some sleep books and make a plan. Decide what will work for you and stick with it. If you change it up becasue your plan is not working right away you will confuse the baby. Make your plan then implement it. Do not give up or change your plan.

good luck