Does anyone else feel totally overwhelmed. I feel like my husband is a irresponsible child, and I have to do everything. When my mother helps me, it's harder for me than if I just take care of things myself, because she always wants me to get things for her, etc. I don't mean to sound ungrateful, I just feel like no one cares how much I struggle. I'm really tired and I think I might be pregnant again. I would like another child, I just am so frustrated with everything right now, I don't know if it would be a good idea. My daughter is 9 mos old. I have posted previously as shonks5 but that is my mothers account, so I made my own account. I feel like I am giving everything and everyone else just thinks about themselves. I try so hard to be considerate of others, and for what???? I know my hormones are off because the baby isn't a regular nurser, but I know it's not ALL hormones. Anyone else feel like this?? I almost wish I was dimorphic, and there were two of me, I mean who better to help me than me right??? I hope I don't sound crazy, I just feel overwhelmed. Funny though, the baby is great!! Sleeps well, eats well. Only problem is she won't fall asleep unless I let her lay in bed with me and fall asleep, then put her in her crib. Oh well, at least she sleeps!!!
I feel the same way from time to time. DS is a very active handful and likes 24-7 attention. DH likes attention too and sometimes he seems like a kid too. I always address DH and DS as "my boys". DH, however, does want to help but I have to explain things to him and by the time he gets up and does things I could have done them 10x myself. I thought I was pg about a month ago and DS is 9 months now. I was really feeling overwhelmed then and very alone. I really wanted another baby but I could never imagine taking care of DS and another. Somedays I find myself thinking, why am I married? It all has its ups and downs and the hormones make it feel way worse.
I have been there and I think I am there right now. I am definately on a - My SO is a useless, immature, looser kick right now. It comes and goes, especially around my period. Which I am supposed to be on right now but am two days late!!! I am sure I am not PG though!!
To get your DH to do something, just tell them to do it and leave it at that. Let them figure out a way of doing it which will be different from yours but that way he will feel more confident. My DS is 17mths old and i am a stay at home mom and it gets extremely boring and tiring on some days. DH helps a lot, i have no complaints from him. He changes his diapers(even poppy diapers). We give our DS a bath together and dress him up together. The only thing DH does not do is make DS finish his meal (DS still does not eat himself and needs help) but the other day i told my DH can you plz make DS finish his dinner. DH was great, he had just walked in from work and i am sure was tired but he made DS finish his dinner. I just left the two alone and went upstairs to relax. We have to give our DH a chance to do things there own way even though its frustating to watch them do it that way but beleieve me thats the best way!
I understand! Some days I just want to put DS and DH in a box and mail them to Africa or something! Like Garfield used to do with that other cat on the cartoon.
Not really, but it does seem sometimes like I have two children!
Nicky is right, just give him a task, then leave. Make sure it is something that HAS to be done though, like washing bottles or something. He will do it, maybe not very well at first, or changing a nasty diaper.
I stay at home too, well I clean a house every week, but that doesn't really count, but DH is good with helping with things, he is just bad that he just takes off and goes places all the time! I am lucky though, my Grandma and Mom are great! But I do know what you mean about people helping, my family knows where things are, but when my inlaws come to help, they do a great job, but I have to tell them where everything is. And I also feel odd leaving them to do things while I shower or something.
Anyway, I care that you are stuggling, and I hope that yoiu feel better soon!
I know how it feels to struggle. I think that we all do at times when our children are so young. And it can feel like it will never end. You are a strong woman and you will get through it.
Like others have said, you need to say to your DH "Honey, I need some help today. Can you please (name the tasks) THank you so much, I really appreciate it." And then leave him to it. Don't tell him how to do it, that will drive him nuts. I bet you he'll do it. It's if he says he doesn't want to help you that you have the problem.
Also, if you are feeling very unappreciated, take an entire day off. Tell him your going to do it on a specific date so he can get geared up. Then leave the house for the ENTIRE day so that he has to do everything. It is hard for some people to understand what others are going through unless they actually experience it. After a day of watching the kiddo solo I bet he'll help you more on a daily basis. Just remember that men do not think like women. They sometimes need to be told what to do...it's just not obvious to them as it is to us.
"Go slowly, breathe and smile" Thich Nhat Hanh