I am looking for other women dealing with the issue of their child having Mongolian spots from birth. They look like bruises and usually completely fade by the time the child is 5.
I need some support here - my baby is covered in them. And the weather is getting warmer and she will be wearing less and less clothing - when wearing short outfits you can see the LARGE spot sooo looks like a hUGE bruise on the back of one of her thighs... and she has one that covers the top of her little hand. its so sad. My husband is half asian. that is where she got them from - he had them at birth - but they went away.
I have had two nurses make comments to me - "oh what is this????" and when I explain they totally get it - but what about neighbors, and strangers etc. - its so hard to think that someone may think I ABUSE my child.... oh god I am going to start crying.
If anyone else is out there with this issue - please respond and tell me how you deal with this? I have read where parents are turned in for child abuse... I am calling my pediatrician on monday to make sure he documented all of her spots - I recently took photos of her spots too.
I couldn't find much either except general information. I'm sorry you are so upset about it. Mostly, try to remember that you know you are a good parent and the opinions of strangers isn't going to change that. Perhaps you just need to be pro-active and if you notice someone really looking, just ask them if they are wondering about the marks and explain them. Maybe you could run off some information to give to more important people in your lives. Try not to let what other people may be thinking get you down. Getting you ped to document everything sounds like a really good idea. Same with day-care, babysitters, and other people around your child.
Take care. I was reading in some places they are believed to be good luck.
Hi, My DD also had Mongolian spots when she was younger. I'm white and my DH is black. My DD who is 6 now had one right on her butt. I stayed at home with her so I didn't have to worry about anyone changing her diaper and seeing it. My DS who is almost 2 never really had any. I would say by 2-3 my DD's faded away. Definitely have her pediatrician note it in her file just to be on the safe side.
This is the only site I had saved from six years ago when I was trying to find more info on Mongolian spots. Dont let the first part scare you.
Maybe you can print the info that tells what a Mongolian Spot is and carry it on you. That way if someone says anything to you that doesnt know what a Mongolian Spot is you can show them the paper and explain it to them. Just a suggestion.
My neice has a lot of them. Her dad is philipino. My sister just says they are mongolian spots to anyone who asks and ignores the rest of the people. They are very common with dark complected people I would not worry about it. Just let them know.
Friday my kids are mixed too , Im italian and dh is black my oldest is 8 and he still has the one on his butt so I dunno if they ever go away dd still had hers too and so does Isaiah, I thought everyone know what they were. If someone questions them just tell them what they are
My friends little girl has them she is asian. And a common friend of our babysat and then asked her if she was aware of the marks on her back...my friend just chuckled and told her they were mongolian spots and what they were and it was fine. I believe her older son had them too and they faded already, he is 5 or 6 now. I agree, to strangers just say they are mongolian spots, to close friends, family or caregivers maybe explain in more detail. Smart idea having them documented though, just in case. You'll get better at handling it as you get used to it...my neice has a big port wine birthmark on her hand and shoulder and alot of people looked at her because of it, it gets old after awhile and you don't even notice people looking anymore...or you do but don't care about their rudeness.
Mom to Kierra (born August 9/02)
and Kaden (born August 19/05)
OH my gosh - I hope I didn't make any one think that I was concerned for her actually having the spots... that didn't bother me from the get go - she is now 10 weeks on Monday and I haven't really mentioned it before - till..... the two different nurses were questioning me... one a pediatric nurse and the other my OB's nurse.
But they totally understood after I told them what it was - and then a couple days later it kinda hit me --- what will regular people think...? and when I say she has some big marks - she does! And seriously I plan to HOPEFULLY raise a very self confident girl so she will be fine with them if they dont fade. I feel like if they don't fade - oh well - they give ya character! I am a very self confident person and don't much care about the stares etc. - its the "she beats her child" thoughts that have me FREAKED.
Her daddy is half japanese and I am regular whitey - dad had the spots but they faded away - Thanks for all of your input and I really hope you don't think I care that she has the spots - its just the "public" view I am concerned with. I will get over it - it just HIT ME all of a sudden and I needed to talk with ya all !!!
I have never heard of this before but DS had a spot that covered one whole side of his forhead. It was tannish almost like a bruise but a patch of skin that was darker then the rest of his skin. DH and I are both white and not inter-racial as mentioned by other posters that had this. This mark appeared on DS's forehead about 2 weeks after he was born and the Dr said that it may get darker but would disappear by the time he is 5 (never gave it a name though). I noticed that the mark showed up worse in the sun. DS is almost 10 months now and the mark is basically gone. Occansoinally it will appear slightly in the sun but otherwise no one would know. I would say he had it for about 6 months, it got bigger before it went away. So maybe by the time summer is here and people will be seeing more of your baby's skin the mark will be gone.
I have 4 babys, i'm Italian/Spanish and DH black. ALL of my kids had them! I made sure I noted it with the Dr tho, incase any questions should arise. They all faded by the time they turned 1, so my 5mon old still has them on his butt crack. It is very common in manys that are of mixed race and chinese babys (so my dr says) But like I said, all our boys had them
I think most doctors are aware of what they are...and that they are usually genetic.... as others have said, I know asians are prone to them, and polynesians are too. My sister in law is Samoan, and my brothers daughter has them all over her rear end and back, another chinese/hawaiian friend of mine, all of her children had them.
I think you'll learn, that you just sometimes have to educate other people about things like this...never be defensive, or apologetic in your behavior about them...just matter of fact, and open and honest if you run across a daycare provider or nurse or doctor who hasn't seen them before.
Thanks for the advice! I called her doc this afternoon and he didn't document them (although my hubby says they did in the hospital when she was born - he went with her when i was getting sewn up from the csection)...
The Doc said that they are SOOO common that if I run into any situations that he will personally take care of it for me - so not to worry.
I am feeling better - and I just need to relax and not worry about people seeing the spots and what they are thinking... No matter how much they look like bruises I have to keep in MY head when in public of what they are - NOT bruises and not worry so darn much!
You gals are right - and I was flipping out - I just need to relax - breathe .... I was just worried someone would try to take her away thinking we were abusing her ... new mom worries I am sure!