crying it out... - Infant Care (up to 18 months old) Message Board

FLAngel · 05-02-2006, 05:43 PM

Hi Again...

Another topic we are struggling with is bed time. DD had a super routine until the past 2 weeks or so. Her Dr. says its normal and gave the typical speal of letting her cry for 10 minute intervals and going back in to sooth her.

The only problem is that she just doesn't ever seem to give up/give in. Each night we have had to give in and let her sleep with us because we will try for hours to get her to sleep but she will only scream the minute we put her down.

Even the babysitter is struggling with her at nap time and has resorted to laying down with her to get her to sleep.

Does anyone else have a baby who just won't give in? Any ideas on how to deal with this? My husband and I both work so these late hours are killing us but I feel that we are really heading down a bad road by letting her sleep with us. help

debating · 05-02-2006, 06:11 PM

How old is she?

whiteluluflower · 05-02-2006, 06:35 PM

oh ya, when my nephew came to live with us, when he was 2, he was unable to sleep alone. no way. he was used to sleeping with his mother beside him..

so, what we had to do, was lie with him, on his own bed, until he fell asleep, we did that for a while, but slowly, we left the room, earlier, and earlier,until he was able to sleep alone.. took awhile.. but it worked.

but now, he just stalls on going to bed.. but thats all kids. hehe. he tries not to be sent to bed, until as late as possible. haha. hes eatting his snack now, and is going to watch american idol..and go to bed.. so in 1/2 hourm until bed, i guess. heh

Sherbet · 05-02-2006, 07:05 PM

Hi

I have a child that if left to scream or cry it out she would go forever... I'm a firm believer that a baby should learn to go to sleep in their own bed but that's just my philosophy... plus I like to be able to have my evenings with my DH and take off my "mumma hat".

Here's what worked for me: PS I DON'T KNOW HER AGE...

When Abbie (my dd) was around 2wks old I started to wrap/swaddle her before going to bed. I put her down and if she cried I went in and went Ssshhhhhh (a lot I might add) and rocked her bassinet with my hand gently resting on her chest... this will help settle them and help them go to sleep in their bed.

When Abbie got older around 2 months I began leaving her to cry. I started leaving her for 3 minutes. When I went back in I had no expression on my face and I just went sssshhhhh... I extended the 3 mins to 5 mins... then out to 10 minutes if she was settling down.... if your baby is still crying badly you may have to get her up and give a gentle burping/winding session because crying can give them wind... put her straight back down without talking, no smiling and leave the room. When DH was there we would take turns in going in so it was less stressful... remember NO SMILING, it provides them with a pay off for crying... you only want to let her know you are still there.

Abbie learned really quickly that mum wasn't going to give her smiles and play because its bed time. Its REALLY hard not to give a facial response but it really does work....

Good luck...

Oh, by the way Abbie has a dummy/pacifier which helps her relax from day one she has been a baby that soothes herself by sucking, it used to be my little finger tip but I decided that I needed to have my finger back and a pacifier was far more sterile. She never managed to find her thumb to suck and now when she puts her thumb in her mouth at 4 months she doesn't think to suck it...

FLAngel · 05-02-2006, 07:21 PM

My DD is now 7 months. Up until about a couple weeks ago, the "shhhhh", rubbing her back for a few minutes, or just putting her sucker back in her mouth would put her back to sleep. But now, it just seems that all the things that did work, don't work anymore and she can go on screaming for hours.

I struggle between thinking something is wrong, to thinking she is just getting old enough to realize that eventually her behavior leads to the desired reinforcement (sleeping with mommy and daddy).

I will work on not verbally or facially soothing her. I also do try to sleep in her room with her but even then, when I try to move her from the bed to her crib she screams..??