Paranoid about sleeping arrangements...what age should she go to her room? - Infant Care (up to 18 months old) Message Board

OrangeCouture · 05-10-2006, 02:41 PM

I am just paranoid about that 3-4 month mark that I read about when they say you baby begins to learn more and can pick up on and get comfortable with their sleeping arrangements, like in your arms or in the parents bedroom. At what age have you all put your baby in their own room WITHOUT any attachment issues on their end. I currently sleep with our 5 week old daughter in my arms on our chaise and I get paranoid about her getting use to it, even at 5 weeks because I want to be able to sleep in bed with my husband again and I don't want her in my room at all. (My brother and sister-in-law allowed their son to sleep with them and he is 8 years old and still trying to because they allowed him to sleep with them since he was a baby and he won't even sleep over anywhere because he became so dependant. Thanks!

weepyone · 05-10-2006, 03:57 PM

hi orange
sam is now 9 weeks and in his cot in his room he is doing fine. i make sure i respond when he cries so it helps him feel secure although he is only waking once in hthe night now so after a feed and nappy change he falls back to sleepi have read lots of books that say you should always respond promptly to their cries. i also read falling to sleep on a sofa or such like increases the risk of sids, so i would consider changing how you are currently sleeping, of course it is up to you, hope i don't sound like i am preaching it is just what i read and thought it might help to share it. i know that sam likes to fall asleep in my arms some nights but this is usually early evening and as soon as he is asleep i pop him in his cot. i make sure that i don't always put him down when he is fast asleep but i do put him down when he is looking sleepy so he is not confused when he wakes up. i really have no problems with sam being in his room in his cot in fact i feel i did him a favour as i kept disturbing him during the light stage of his sleep cycle. also he was getting too big for his moses basket so now he can spread his arms, he sleeps in those special baby sleeping bags.

friday13 · 05-10-2006, 04:13 PM

Orange - I moved my baby girl out of our room from her bassinet to her own room WAY upstairs and far away - LOL when she was just about 3 months old. she has always slept in the bassinet except for about 4 nights total when she slept with us.. it is very nice to have my room back and hubby and I are alone again - we do respond quickly to her at night though - and she loves her crib!

Also I put her down semi awake during the day and (middle of night) feedings.... so she goes to sleep on her own.... it doesn't always work that I lay her down and leave and all is fine - sometimes I have to go back in and pick her up - but not ALOT of times... so its good. she is now 3.5 months along and been upstairs I think about 3 weeks now... its hard to get used to - but I had to do it - and we had no trouble with her being attached.

XXOO good luck - its hard but the earlier you do it - the better probably - you can still enjoy her though - smell her little head and such when feeding - I just love doing that! and you cherish her more I think too - when she is sleeping and you are awake and are like "I miss her".... I do miss her - when she is in her own little room... hee hee!

JuniorsMommy929 · 05-10-2006, 08:52 PM

LOL my son is 7 months and I just moved him into his room this week, and didnt even wanna do it now, his sleeping hasnt changed, still wakes up same time every night....it seems to be no different to him, to me, it is, i cant sleep as good,lol

debating · 05-11-2006, 07:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OrangeCouture

My brother and sister-in-law allowed their son to sleep with them and he is 8 years old and still trying to because they allowed him to sleep with them since he was a baby and he won't even sleep over anywhere because he became so dependant.

I wouldn't base your paranoia on that. It's HOW the child is raised, not what sleeping arrangements are in place. You can safely allow your child to sleep with you in your room and make a transition later without an 8 year old climbing into bed with you. Even families who co-sleep end up with indipendent children.

Having said that, it's just a matter of reconditioning your baby. He's used to sleeping in your arms, so of course it might take a bit longer to get him used to being put down.

I always wanted to co-sleep, but after one night of frantically being woken up by my husband because DD was burried under the covers, she prompty went back into her bassinet! It freaked me out. But I still like the closeness of her falling asleep in bed at the breast, so what I do is wait until she is dead asleep, then roll away from her, then move her to her bassinet.

Now it doesn't matter where she falls asleep - my arms, grandmas arms, in her swing, she always does well being moved.

It may take you a couple of nights of trying to get him moved into bed. If it were me, I would start early and try putting him down in his own bed (where ever you decide to put him). If he wakes, then sooth him back to sleep, if you BF then try that, or what ever else works, wait until he is settled, then try again. You'll probably find that he'll wake upon realizing that he isn't with you, so it might to put him down slightly awake (nice and relaxed and settled, but not out cold) so he's not startled, and hopefully he'll finally fall asleep on his own if he's tired enough.

I would make sure you get a good nap one afternoon (and him too), and set out to put him to sleep in his own bed that night. I did this to get DD used to napping in her crib (before she'd only sleep in her swing or bassinet, now she naps in her nursery with the door closed). It worked great over the course of a few days, now she naps in there on her own for 2 hours at a time.