debating

Gayle, attachment parenting is a coined term for the parenting philosophy of Dr. William Sears, author of "The Baby Book".

In short, you form an attached bond with your child through breastfeeding, co-sleeping, baby wearing, minimal outside distraction, engaging interaction and learning, etc.

I practice attachment parenting, but not so much because I want to follow a "fad", because in truth I was doing it before I knew such a term existed, but because it just feels right. The basic premise is that you view your child like another person with needs, and you meet those needs as quickly, logically, and sensitively as possible.

I try not to rely on swings, bouncy seats, or play mats to get me through the day. They're there for both of us to use together, but I don't rely on them to entertain her. I use my bouncy seat to take a shower and use the stove to make breakfast because I don't feel it's safe to wear her while I cook, otherwise most of the time she's with me.

I co-sleep because I feel that as her mother I'm meant to share my warmth and protection with her. She sleeps her long stretch in her bassinet, but she's still able to hear me, I can touch her, and when she needs to be fed I just bring her back to bed with me (with out having to get up).

I don't let her cry. In fact, she doesn't cry much unless she's in pain, or I've neglected to "beat her to it". In other words, from being so close to her I've learned to read her cues far earlier then her crying. People say a cry is their only form of communication, but I try not to let it get to that point. I can smell a dirty diaper, and I can see lip smacking and hand chewing, I can see a look of disinterest, I can sense a movement of uncomfortability, I can feel if she's too warm or too hot, etc etc.

I believe that by including her in my life, and not just letting her watch it from afar, that she learns through interaction. Her mellow state of contentment also makes for increased learning and development and opens her up like a sponge. We talk all day long. I show her things. I teach her things (like how to load the dishwasher, or how to feed the dogs, etc).

You literally do become attached to your child. But the good thing is that it's VERY adaptable. You can take what works for you, and either do it, or change it to suit you. For the first two and half months I did not exclusively breastfeed. She does sleep in a bassinet. I do use a swing. I do own a stroller. But I still consider myself an attached parent. I think it's as much a state of mind as it is a check list of things to do (or not do).

But it's still not a parenting technique for everyone, just as CIO'ing is not for everyone. If you google "Dr. Sears" you'll find lots of info on attachment parenting.

And lastly, Skeeter, I would not worry about it back firing. I have a "high needs" baby too, and I just think about what life would be like for her if I didn't practice attachment parenting. She would be one lonely little girl. I don't think, at this age, that it can backfire. I know as they get older it's important to set boundaries while still meeting their needs, but 3 months is still a really needy age.

But I can sympathize with going crazy! Some days I just want to lock myself in the bathroom. LOL. Do you have someone who can take over for a while so you can take a break? I know that even if I take a hot bath I feel WORLDS better for it.

Edited to add: Baby # 2 and I were replying at the same time. And I wouldn't say I only practice it. I'm pretty lax compared to some of the die hard AP moms. I don't dare post on some boards that I even own a TV for cripes sake.