Hi Juniorsmom, I agree with you 100%. I am going to allow my babies to be "babies" as long as they want to be, or need to be. They grow up so fast and I always hear mom's saying, "oh I wish I had held them a little more, I wish I had enjoyed them a little more, I wish I'd spent more time with them"....well I am not going to be sitting around with all those shoulda coulda wouldas when I am older. I am a stay at home mom and I never leave my kids with anyone, just don't feel the need to. We have lots of fun together. My stepson says I'm the best mom AND stepmom in the world and when he says that, I feel like I am. I have him (10.5), my oldest will be 5 next month and my baby is 9 months old and we are super close and I wouldn't have it any other way. We are fortunate enough that dh has a good job and allows me to stay home, that is so important to me. I remember growing up my parents would host huge biker parties at our house and me and my sister would be way off in the woods somewhere on our 56 acre farm and they would have no clue where we were and never looked. They were the absent type of parents and I refuse to put my babies through that. I was raped at 13 and my parents didn't have a clue until I told them at 24! I had marks and my demeaner changed conciderably. Did they ever sit me down and say, "Is there something wrong hun?" Nope. I have had lots of therapy, so it's all good now. I am cool with life and a very happy person. I hope I didn't scare you going all deep on you like that.
Sorry, just had to point out the reasoning behind my beliefs, not that you need to justify being an attentive parent though. I am what you call a helicopter mom, always hovering. LOL!! And I will be until my guys tell me they need their space, then I'll hover a little further away.
Having one special needs child smacked me upside the head and made me realize how fragile and precious life is. I sooo don't care about what "experts" think I should be doing with my kids, I go with my insticts on a lot of things. The ped said something about letting my infant cry it out and getting him in his own bed and I did everything except tell him to Bite Me. I am not for that stuff, I LOVE co sleeping. Of course I trust the drs medical opinions, but when it comes to some things I trust my mommy insticts more. I am trying so hard to not sweat the small stuff. It's so easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of parenting and comparing when they do this and that. I've done it so many times myself. They do everything when they get good and ready. About the whole potty training thing, there is a big downside to that. Children who are potty trained too early have more problems later down the road. My stepson was potty trained before 2 and not only does he have the occassional wetting accident, but he also has encopresis, a very dreadful condition in which waste becomes so impacted in the bowel that they strech out and the child loses control. (lot's of poop accidents) There's a lot more to it then that, but that is a basic description. The specialist told us that they see this condition much more in children who are potty trained early. ??? My 5 year old wasn't potty trained until he was 3, not because we didn't want him to be, but autism is a major roadblock in potty training. We tried a lot, but once HE decided he wanted to go in the potty and be clean, HE potty trained himself. (with lots of help and support of course) My sister potty trained her son, same age as my oldest, before he was 2 also and has always rubbed that in my face, but they were here for a visit this week and her son peed all over himself and just kept on playing like nothing hd happened. If my nephew hadn't been standing there I would've said BOOYAH! But I would never hurt his feelings, he couldn't help it. My lil guy hasn't had an accident in long time. He goes to the potty, poops, wipes, flushes and washes his hands like a champ now, he's so sweet. Anyways, sorry I wrote you a novel reply here, but I too am passionate about this and wanted to share that with you, as I see we have similar feelings about it. Take care of yourself and CONGRATS on your new pregnancy, I haven't had the chance before to say that, but have been following your threads.
P.S. I am also not trying to be rude. I was addressing the original poster only and not trying to say that any belief different that my own is wrong, just conveying my feelings to her. I think all of us moms sicerely do the best we can for our children and I applaud you all for being great moms.
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