Arguing in my Dr.'s Waiting Room! Brought me to tears later... - Infant Care (up to 18 months old) Message Board

Shanz4 · 09-20-2006, 12:08 PM

I was at my OB-GYN's office this morning for a yearly check-up. A lady came into the waiting room with her baby and we started a nice conversation. She had a 7 month old, I have a 5 month old. We started talking about sleeping. I joked that by about 12 or 1am, she always ends up in my bed, snuggling with me and sleeping. Another lady sitting nearby, said...and let me quote, "you will kill your baby doing that, when you roll over and smother her." She said I was asking for my child to die!!

I stayed calm (somehow) and let her know I did not believe that, i was a light sleeper and quoted some statistics. This made her very mad and she quoted her own statistics and said she was a nurse of 27 years who specialized in infant CPR. Luckily, I was called back and that was it.

I even mentioned the encounter to my Dr. who said that was nonsense and I should do whatever is working for me. She even joked that her 25 year old would probably crawl into bed with her, if it weren't for the size!

Later, I started to feel guilty about what I'm doing. Am I risking her life? Am I setting her up to HAVE to sleep in our bed for years to come? I guess my hormones and stress got to me and I got really upset. I know the woman was trying to help, but her demeanor was rude & thoughtless.

I am so sick of people telling me what to do, being preached at etc...

Any thoughts??

KeltoKel · 09-20-2006, 12:23 PM

You have to do what is best for you and your baby. You can't worry about what other people say because EVERYONE has an opinion. I am sure you are very aware of the cautions you need to take when having your baby in bed with you. Perhaps the lady in the waiting room was correct to some poiont - but it still doesn't give her the right to be so rude!

I am sick of people telling me what to do and being preached at as well - heck, we even get it on these boards from time to time. I guess it teaches us patience with adults - as well as children, huh?

weepyone · 09-20-2006, 01:02 PM

wow shanz what a horrid way for her to put her opinion across. personally i worry about everything so did not have ds sleep with me i probably would roll on to him knowing my luck or he would be sleeping with me still in high school and i definately don't want that.

you weigh up the risks for yourself and make your own decisions for what is best for you and your child. being a mommy is a worrying time noone can tell you what you must do you decide for yourself and remember lots of people are very passionate about their views and sometimes crush other mommys and create self doubt in their minds i am sure you are a great mommy if you want to co -sleep it is up to you, if you don't see it as a risk then fine but remember others will also see it otherwise. take care

cattieos · 09-20-2006, 08:32 PM

Well your baby is old enough that if you did roll over on it it would carry on most likely until you got up! I do worry about that some when DS sleeps at MILS, and this sounds awful, but they sleep on a water bed and MIL is very overweight, and I am not sure she could feel him.
Anyway, SIL did actually sleep with MIL until she 28, yeah I know odd. But anyway, most children will not WANT to sleep with you after they get older. Maybe if they have a bad dream or what not, but not as a general rule. And once a kid gets three or so, you can explain to them that they HAVE to sleep in their bed.
Don't worry about it, she was just being mean!

Gayle0000 · 09-20-2006, 09:24 PM

Well, I'll say up front that I'm not a believer in co-sleeping. I personally believe the most a child should sleep in their parent's bed is when/if they get scared from a storm, bad dream, etc....but not an everyday thing.

With that said, I do feel that woman was out of line. There's always a way for 2 people with opposing opinions to have a diplomatic and respectful conversation without accusations, name-calling, and general insults.

I would be hacked off if I were you too. I think it's just one of those things that we have to learn to walk away from, brush off, and know you are the mom and raising your child the best way you see fit. Curse her under your breath and walk away with your head held high.

You doing great. Don't second-guess youself.
Gayle