Newborn questions for daughter-in-law - Infant Care (up to 18 months old) Message Board

grammy77 · 02-07-2007, 01:21 PM

My daughter-in-law is a new first time Mom who is trying to breastfeed my new granddaughter. She was told to use formula until her breast milk came in. Well, that made Riley not want to latch on to her. She is now almost 3 weeks old and still won't so she pumps and feeds her with the bottle. She has tried the nipples on her breast but just can't manage that and Riley gets frustrated and screams. Riley also is sleeping very little. I had two sons but I never breast fed the first one and I tried with the second(Riley's dad)but I was starving him because my milk was like water so I had to go to formula so I am no help to her. Her mother did not breast feed so she is no help. Everyone gives all kinds of advice but nothing has helped. She is getting virtually no sleep because Riley will not sleep during the day. I can't decide if her tummy hurting or she is hungry. She seems like she is starving even after she has taken 3-4 ounces. Can anyone shed any light on this?

devster4fun · 02-07-2007, 01:43 PM

What a great grandma you are...so concerned and helpful! Your DIL is very lucky to have you

First...an opinion. Pumping and feeding expressed breastmilk, IS breastfeeding. That's my opinion, many will not agree. She's doing her best along with adjusting to being a new mom. It's a big task. The issue is, as long as she supplements with formula, the less her body will make.

Second...can you consult with a lactation specialist? Our town has hospitals that can help. Also, we have a store which supplies pumps, tops, nursing supplies. They offer lactation consultations.

There are lots of good books on nursing. The latch is the key. All I can describe it as, is a VERY wide open mouth, taking the whole areola (and thus the nipple in). The bottle feeding has taught the baby to just suck on the nipple, which will just not work for breastfeeding. It's a whole different action.

The formula thing (at the start) was probably bad (and old-fashioned) advice. There are circumstances when this is called-for, but not many. Babies need VERY little liquid at first, as their stomach is the size of a walnut. I had a c-section on a Tuesday at noon. My milk did not come in until Saturday afternoon. She nursed and probably was hungry for that week, but learned to latch properly etc...as is the natural process. I also pumped, which really helped so someone else could feed her while I rested.

Let us know how it goes. There is a way to get that baby to the breast. Lots of practice, patience and help from her supporters.

yellowrose5006 · 02-08-2007, 09:43 AM

Also, breastmilk is more easily digested than formula, so they are hungry more often when fed breastmilk. And what devster says is true about the body will produce less...unless she is pumping each time the baby would eat for at least 5 minutes after the milk stops flowing to ensure her breasts are COMPLETELY EMPTY. The more you ask your body to make the more it makes.

athome1 · 02-08-2007, 10:06 AM

I had some similar problems with my own children. Both children were not getting enough because my body would not produce enough. If she can feed the baby breast milk through a bottle, I would continue. Breastfeeding can be SO stressful for those of us that have some problems. The important part is that the baby is getting the breast milk. Unfortunatly I had to stop and give them formula. It's very difficult to face the fact that you can't breastfeed when you really want to. She has to remind herself that it's about the baby and not about what she wants.

My youngest son had a slight milk allergy, so I had to lay off of all Dairy and milk products while breastfeeding to make him more comfortable. The baby should be sleeping during the day, and is she isn't it could be that she isn't full or doesn't feel well (gas, acid reflux ect...). My rule, and some may not agree, was to feed my boys until they were full. I didn't stop at 3 or 4 ounces because that's what the doctor says. When they were done eating, it was because they were full. Both children were and still are the perfect weight, so it didn't affect them.

I hope this helps some. No sleep and breastfeeding issues can be a VERY stressful for not only the mom, but the father as well. She can remind herself that with the bottle feeding, at least your son then can help with the feedings, especially at night

LisaFaith · 02-08-2007, 11:01 AM

I had a preemie, so breastfeeding and milk supply was a very difficult issue. My DS#3 was born 16 weeks early, so my body was nowhere near ready to make milk. The lactation consultant and nurses I worked with recommended that I drink Mother's Milk Tea (it can be found in the health food aisle of most large grocery stores.) I drank 4-5 cups a day, and pumped every 3 hours, and within 3 days I had milk. Whenever my milk would start to diminish, I would start drinking the tea again. There is also something called Kangaroo Care that can help. In the NICU, moms (and some Dads) hold their babies with skin to skin contact. The baby has on just a diaper, and is placed on the mother's chest, between her breasts (then covered with blankets to keep warm.) Whenever I did Kangaroo Care with my DS, I would fill up with so much milk, that I had to pump much longer to get it all out.

I would encourage your DIL to keep trying, but she may have to continue pumping and bottlefeeding. I would not supplement with formula at all. Breastmilk has so much more nutrition, and even if it is coming out of a bottle, its okay. I pumped exclusively because my DS would not latch on.

I agree with "aelliott" about the amount of milk. Just because the doctor or a book says that a newborn should only be taking 3 or 4 ounces, doesn't mean that is all the baby actually needs. At this age, babies don't over-eat. (Over-eating is a skill we learn when get older

) The baby will tell you when she is full. Good Luck to you all.