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Old 10-03-2007, 01:43 PM   #1
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Darn, we've hit a 'waking during the night' stage. 9 months old

Not so much a question, as I'm not sure there's much to do about it. My DD can now sit up by herself and stand in her crib. Since she's been able to do this (about two weeks now), she wakes up and will not go back to sleep. When she could only lay down (essentially didn't have the choice to sit up or stand), she eventually put herself to sleep. With her new-found strength, she's up at night and cries. She will not put herself down at all and I've taken to bringing her to bed with me again and then moving her back to her crib. Arrgghhh. I hope this ends soon.
I suppose it didn't help that when all of this started, we were visiting my mom and she had to sleep in bed with me for a week.
Well, DH and I are trying to stand by her crib to get her to lay down and go to bed, but after 2 hours in the middle of the night we break down and put her to sleep by rocking her or in bed.
Darn, she was such a good sleeper and well trained before this.
Can't wait for the phase to pass. (I hope it's a phase anyway )

 
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Old 10-03-2007, 07:08 PM   #2
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Re: Darn, we've hit a 'waking during the night' stage. 9 months old

HI

I am not a cry it out person and never did it when my baby was young but right about 9 months we had the same exact problem and I knew I had to do something or risk not sleeping through the night myself. I let him CIO for short periods and going in every 5 minutes to soothe and comfort. The first 2 weeks were rough it broke my heart to hear him cry. I felt like he thought I abandoned him or something. ButI had to think of my own sanity too. I would go back in in 5-10 minutes and lay him down and rub his back. There are many CIO methods but I read up on the one that lets you go in and comfort the baby. Long story short it took a little time but wasn't as bad as I thought and He now is able to put himself to sleep, at naptime as well. The key to this for us was routine. We kept a very same and predictable routine so he knew after his evening drink he was going to bed and that was that. I always gave him the opportunity to fall asleep in my arms first with rocking and singing. Sometimes he would but if he didn't after a reasonable amount of time it was "night night I love you see you in the morning" and into the crib. Seriously I felt like the worst mom. But it really didn't take that long and now I am so glad I did he sleeps from 7-7 ever night and if he does awaken in the middle of the night I let him fuss it out and he does eventually go back to sleep. Sometimes I do a quick diaper change if he is real wet and right back to bed. Good luck every baby is different and so is every mommy. But we all need our sleep!
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Old 10-03-2007, 07:10 PM   #3
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Re: Darn, we've hit a 'waking during the night' stage. 9 months old

Quote:
Originally Posted by liloulou View Post
I suppose it didn't help that when all of this started, we were visiting my mom and she had to sleep in bed with me for a week.

Can't wait for the phase to pass. (I hope it's a phase anyway )
Okay....that was the problem. This happened to me EVERY time DH would go away overnight or I would travel alone with her. She and I would sleep in the same bed and then get home and she would freak out and not want to sleep alone. I don't think the phase really passes until about 2 years, sorry!!

One suggestion, do you have a pack and play? or porta crib? Try putting that in your room, right next to your bed. So that she can see you. Then, let her sleep in that (or when she wakes, put her in that), for about a week. Then move it a couple feet...another week....another couple feet, etc. etc., until it is in the hall or back in her own room. Then try the crib again. I don't always agree with letting them cry it out. I did this once with DD and I hated myself for it! She was 10 months before she even slept in her own room. I am such a sucker for cute kids! LOL! She now sleeps on her own completely (comes into our room after DH goes to work in the morning). I wish you all the luck in the world. Just know that this WILL end and you WILL get through it.

 
Old 10-04-2007, 07:04 AM   #4
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Re: Darn, we've hit a 'waking during the night' stage. 9 months old

Our pediatrician told us to bring her in for a check-up to make sure there's nothing wrong and then buy a pair of ear plugs and let her cry herself back to sleep. I wasn't too keen on that, so I found a happy median in the book "Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems" by Dr. Richard Ferber. There will be some crying because you're changing the "rules" and she's going to be MAD, so you should expect that. But you go in at specific intervals to reassure her that you didn't abandon her, but then reiterate that it's time to go to sleep and that she's supposed to sleep in her own room, despite what's happened in the past. It only took DD (my VERY stubborn non-sleeper) a couple days to a week to get on track with the new "rules." The key to changing any bad habits is to be consistent. If you cave in, you're only teaching her that if she cries long enough and hard enough, she'll eventually get what she wants. And believe me, they have WAY more stamina and perserverence, especially in the middle of the night and we're sleep-deprived. Whatever you try, stick with it for at least a week, even if it doesn't work the first day or 2; she'll eventually catch on if you're consistent.

 
Old 10-04-2007, 07:36 AM   #5
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Re: Darn, we've hit a 'waking during the night' stage. 9 months old

Oh gosh, a stage lasting to age 2?! I guess I better not get used to her sleeping... lol
I first trained her to put herself to sleep around 4 months old by helping her go to sleep completely, and then a little less asleep, to helping her get drowsy, to then eventually I'd put her in her crib awake, but tired and she'd roll over and go to sleep. She got it!
But now, that's not working so well. I don't really want to do the CIO, and even when I try going in every 5 minutes or so, her crying just get's louder and she clearly becomes more upset. Sometimes I think when I try that method I shouldn't go in at all because she gets more worked up when I do.
Maybe it's worth another shot though since she does have more awareness of the entire situation now.
I will try the pack-n-play and see how that works.
Last night she did a little better and only got up from 11:30-12:15am and then her usual, 5:30am feeding.
Thanks for all of the advice. It always helps to know you're not alone in all of this.

 
Old 10-04-2007, 01:47 PM   #6
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Re: Darn, we've hit a 'waking during the night' stage. 9 months old

honestly, crying it out really is the quickest and easiest solution. it's not cruel, it doesn't hurt the baby, and it teaches baby to settle herself down without being dependent on mommy or daddy to do it for her.

HOWEVER, i do understand how hard it is, because i just went through this with my second (she's almost 22 months now). we always did the stay in her room til she fell asleep thing. it was hard, but she could see us and know we were there and hadn't abandoned her and all that.... BUT, we spent HOURS each night doing this (because once you start, you have to stay until she's asleep, because if you try to leave while she's awake, she freaks and you have to start all over again, and sometimes it took HOURS for her to fall asleep!) and i feel like those hours were so wasted!!!

i finally gave up and had to let her cry it out on her own one night and it took her screaming about 30-45 minutes, and then she went to sleep. and since then, she never cries more than 10 minutes, and that's very rare. and i could just kick myself for not letting her CIO months ago!!!

BUT, again, i do understand that it is hard. SO if you opt for the staying in her room method, do it, but don't stand by her crib. standing by her crib is like a signal that you are going to either get her out or leave. settle down on the floor by her crib and close your eyes like you're going to sleep, and don't give her any extra attention. it might take a couple of nights, but if you're consistant, she will learn to settle herself down.

all that being said, you also might want to be sure she isn't cutting any new teeth, because any time my daughter cuts a new teeth, she's up all hours of the night until it occurs to one of us to give her ibuprofen!

Last edited by mcr285; 10-04-2007 at 01:51 PM.

 
Old 10-05-2007, 09:22 AM   #7
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Re: Darn, we've hit a 'waking during the night' stage. 9 months old

if she wouldn't even go down as normal, it might be something more than just not wanting to go to bed. how is she doing today? it might be something easy like teething (you might not even see any teeth coming, but if she's drooling like crazy and/or chewing on everything in sight, she's teething!), but it could also be an ear infection or something. not to be an alarmist, but CIO doesn't usually result in being up all night!

anyway, sorry it was a horrible night! i really REALLY do understand the frustration!

 
Old 10-05-2007, 11:11 AM   #8
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Re: Darn, we've hit a 'waking during the night' stage. 9 months old

My DH is taking her to the Dr. today to make sure she's ok. She did have a fever and cold a few days ago, but seemed better. The sleep issues started before her cold too so I didn't think the two were related too much.
In any case, we'll make sure she doesn't have an ear infection or respiratory problem. I think she could be teething so I gave her motrin before bed last night.
I'll see how things go tonight. I do think either there's a developmental milestone in her brain or something since she's completely turned her "I know how to put myself to sleep" attribute off.

 
Old 10-05-2007, 01:55 PM   #9
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Re: Darn, we've hit a 'waking during the night' stage. 9 months old

Poor girl has an ear infection. Could explain a few things.

 
Old 10-05-2007, 07:31 PM   #10
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Re: Darn, we've hit a 'waking during the night' stage. 9 months old

Lililou, I can completely empathize. Lorelei started this at 8 months, right when she figured out how to stand at the crib rail. She used to be such a good sleeper, but now even naps are a stuggle. I feel like such a bad person sometimes because I bring her to bed with me in the middle of the night instead of spending the hours and hours it might take to get her back to sleep in her crib (along with the struggle of "lay down", "no, momma said lay down", etc.). sigh. And everytime I think I'm going to start the sleep training recommended in "The No Cry Sleep Solution" something comes up that makes it seem that a stretch of 10-12 days to get on track just won't happen.

Plus, Lorelei has some other health problems (low cortisol, maybe) that might explain some of the sleep issues, so I hesitate to do sleep training until we get that all sorted out (which should be in the next few weeks). Until then, DH and I sleep in separate beds and take turns bringing baby to sleep with one of us in the middle of the night. I know it's going to be a hard habit to break, but I'll do it... later.

 
Old 10-06-2007, 08:26 AM   #11
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Re: Darn, we've hit a 'waking during the night' stage. 9 months old

I was about start a thread about this very topic, but some of these posts are pretty close to what I would have written. DS is a week from 10 months, and started standing in his crib (and everywhere else, for that matter) this week. The last few nights he has been waking up throughout the night, and when we go to check he is standing in his crib. We can't let him CIO when he is standing, something that I am a proponent of and have used with mostly success in the past with his sleeping, becuase he can't get himself down yet. He'll just stand there while his crying escalates.

 
Old 10-10-2007, 08:22 AM   #12
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Re: Darn, we've hit a 'waking during the night' stage. 9 months old

Yay! I think the ear infection was more of a problem than I thought. DD is sleeping again through the night.
But when she does get up in the morning, there's no playing around like she used to. It's 'let's stand and cry for mom'.... Oh well, she's sleeping again and I'm happy about that.
Ear infections are really painful for our little ones I've discovered. Didn't realize how much.

 
Old 10-10-2007, 10:59 AM   #13
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Re: Darn, we've hit a 'waking during the night' stage. 9 months old

Wow, I was about to start a thread on this.
My DD is 10.5 months old and is wobbling around the house.
She goes to bed at 9:30 pm and wakes at ~1 am and then at ~6 am.
I don't know how to get her to to not wake up at 1 am.
She just stands against the crib railing and goes "Eh Eh.. "and has learnt to bang her palms on the crib railing to get attention.
Is there another way of sleep trainng other than "let her cry it out... " ?

 
Old 10-10-2007, 07:07 PM   #14
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Re: Darn, we've hit a 'waking during the night' stage. 9 months old

Quote:
Originally Posted by dream77 View Post
Is there another way of sleep trainng other than "let her cry it out... " ?
There is a book called "The No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley that talks about how to use some sleep training techniques to get your LO to sleep... somewhere between CIO and doing nothing. We are just starting to use it...

 
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