how old is an infant before you let them cry at night? - Infant Care (up to 18 months old) Message Board

hoppie · 10-12-2007, 11:53 AM

My 3 1/2 month old wakes for a feeding in the night and won't go to sleep for up to 2 hours after. Breastfeeding during the day, bottle at night. She's sleeping half in car seat and the other in crib. My husband argues that I should just let her cry, but the crying just gets worse. Is she too young for this?

baj406 · 10-12-2007, 12:11 PM

DS is 3 1/2 months also and only JUST started sleeping through the night. He does wake in the early morning, around 4, and I move him up into our bed and we sleep until about 7 or 8, then he gets his morning bottle. If she's hungry when she wakes and take food, then she is still too young to let her CIO. She's not crying b/c she woke up and nobody's there, she's crying because she's hungry. If there's a need behind the crying, it can't be ignored. Good luck and I hope DH will understand your point.

liloulou · 10-12-2007, 12:32 PM

You should not let your baby cry it out at this age. Not until they are at least 6 months old from what I've heard previously on this board and what I've read on the Net.
I agree with anhyre that at that age, when they wake up and cry it's because they need something... either bottle, diaper change, pacifier or to be held. But there is a need that will help soothe them. And you are not spoiling them at that age either.

Tiff24 · 10-12-2007, 02:26 PM

I agree with the other posters that 3.5 months is too young to cry it out. I'm assuming you're not so much upset about getting up to feed him but more that he won't go back to sleep right away. My son did the same thing but he was much younger. A few suggestions would be to get a bedtime routine down. From the sound of it, he doesn't understand that it's night time and that he needs to eat and go back to sleep. I would suggest bath, book, bottle then bed time and he will eventually learn that when you do those things that it's time to sleep. Even if he gets up to eat he'll learn that he needs to go right back to sleep. Another suggestion is to make sure you keep either the lights off or very dim when you go in to feed him. When you talk to him whisper so hopefully he won't wake completely. You could also try some kind of background noise (we use a box fan) at night so he learns that it's night time when he hears it and it will drown out any noise you might make while feeding him. I know it's frustrating but it will pass and you will soon get a full nights sleep. Oh and by the way, at four months our son was sleeping from 8-6 so hopefully you don't have too much longer.

koukla3 · 10-12-2007, 03:48 PM

Hi there,

I completely disagree with the other posters. When my DD was just born we would put her anywhere to sleep, her car seat, bouncy, pack n' play etc. anywhere that she would sleep we would try. The problem was that she wasn't getting a consistent routine and place where she would soon know...this is where I am suppossed to sleep. When I brought this to my pediatrician's attention she told me to start a consistent routine and put her down where I wanted her to sleep for naps and nighttime in the same place and she also told me to let her cry. She was 6 weeks old! THe crib doesn't bouncy or vibrate she told me so you need to get the baby out of that routine (which is what our dd was used to).

She told us that the first time to let her cry for 5 minutes...go check on her and make sure she wasn't hungry, wet, etc. and then put her right back down to cry, repeat until baby was asleep. She said do this everynight but to extend the crying time gradually. She said by the end of the week she would be able to soothe herself to sleep. Well, the first night she cried less than 5 minutes and she was out like a light and slept almost the whole night!!! She started sleeping through the night at 7 weeks and she now soothes herself to sleep at bedtime and naptime. What I do is when I notice she is starting to get tired I put her to bed in her crib and within 5 minutes she is out. At night if you don't already have a routine start one so your baby will start to realize that it is now time to get ready for bed. We give our baby a bath, read a story while having a bottle and then we say prayers and put her in her crib.

I would give it a try. Stop the carseat and only do the crib. Letting your baby cry is not a big deal in my opinion. I know others won't agree with me but it worked for us and our baby is a great sleeper!

good luck!

Koukla