16 Months, development questions... - Infant Care (up to 18 months old) Message Board

seta37 · 05-04-2008, 06:12 PM

My best friend has a 16 month old.
Her ex has rich evil parents (I want to use much worse words) that decided that they wanted another child and bought a $30,000 lawyer to take her kid, and they won.

Unfortunately, they did it out of resentment for my friend, not because they love her kid. They have a very low opinion of him and at the very least don't encourage him at all. They talk about everything he can't do right in front of him, and they treat him like a 4 month-old.

He has a very minimal vocabulary (dada and mama and a few more vocalizations, but not really words) but he's very good with "things" and figuring out how to do them.
At about 15 months, he just got up and started walking, and grabbing an adults hand to do something for him (he'd put it wherever the action was, and watches and learns how to do it himself).

Anyways, watching him, you don't notice anything wrong, but I'm just wondering if he should be able to say more? He seems to understand what you say to him, he just ignores you unless you use a stern voice (but aren't all boys like that?)

Anyways, my friend only gets him on Saturday... I'm wondering what we can do to help him develop during that time?

I think he's physically developed just fine, as he can pick up and throw things (not that well, but they generally go in the direction he wants them, which isn't supposed to happen until much later, I think) He can also climb off of things, like the couch, mostly on his own, he rarely needs help, but sometimes gets frustrated.

He pretty much feeds himself, unless it's yogurt, then mommy still has to use the spoon. We try to repeat words to him and show him what it is/means, but he generally has little interest. Should we set him down for a few minutes each day and really get him to focus?

I love my friend to death, and I want to help her as much as I can, but it looks like it's going to be about his 2nd birthday before she can get him back, and I don't want him to fall too far behind.

At least his "grandparents" have him in daycare, which is better than nothing... I just hope they don't do any irreversible damage...

please help.

janewhite1 · 05-04-2008, 07:16 PM

Kids are pretty resilient, really. As long as they are fed properly, and have some positive interaction with adults, they generally do fine.

It's normal for a 16-month old to say only a few words. Some of them talk more, but as long as he says something intelligible, and seems to understand what's said to him, it's probably okay. Some very bright kids are late talkers.

As far as helping him, the absolute best thing you can do is what you are probably doing already. Talk to him, a lot. Interact positively. Let him play with things, not necessarily fancy educational toys, pots and pans and plastic bottles and blocks teddy bears are perfectly good. Let him try to do things. Take him outside if the weather is good. Read him picture books, in such a way that he can see the words and pictures.

The idea of "teaching" babies and toddlers is a myth, invented by educational product companies. Until at least age 3, children get all the education they need just from being spoken to and allowed to explore their environment. You friend's son is much much too young to benefit from any sort of "sit-down lesson," keep in mind his attention span is less than a minute at this point.

However, do keep careful notes on his development, if his mother is still fighting over custody.

seta37 · 05-05-2008, 05:41 AM

thanks, I'll be sure that we keep notes of everything that he can do every saturday!

KeltoKel · 05-05-2008, 06:40 AM

It is normal for boys to start speaking a bit later than girls. My son is 18 months and I swear, in the past 4 weeks, has learned about 20 news words. Up to then, it was maybe 10. He started walking at 11 months and almost runs faster than me. LOL! Physically he is ahead of the game so I was worried at first about his vocab as well.

I think you will start to see some big changes in your friends son in the next 2 months and not to worry.

seta37 · 05-06-2008, 08:35 AM

Thanks, that makes me feel so much better.