Leaving 4 1/2 mo overnight - Infant Care (up to 18 months old) Message Board

WhiskersOnKittens · 04-14-2009, 09:47 PM

Hi ladies,

I have a wedding to go to. It's not until June 27, but I'm thinking in advance and would like to know other's opinions on this one. I'd be gone from late afternoon until late morning or early afternoon the next day.

I'm breastfeeding, and I'm wondering what others would do in this situation--would you pump enough, and leave baby with a sitter (either my sister, or SIL), or would you take baby? This is "no children" wedding, however I'm sure the bride and groom would understand my situation if I said that I'm bringing Brody along, or I won't be attending. However, one of my issues now is that I was looking forward to a night kid-less (as terrible as a parent as I might sound...), and never even considered taking him along. But I posted on another forum asking how to go about the pumping situation (should I pump a bottle a day for a few days before hand? Or is there a better way? And how much should I pump? After all, I really have no idea how much baby is getting...) and got some critical posts about why I can't bring him or not go at all, since 4 and a half months isn't very old. So now I'm feeling really guilty about it, and re-considering the whole situation.

I don't HAVE to go. I'm not in the wedding party (although dh is), but these are pretty good friends of ours and I'd really like to be there.

So anyway to summarize my questions:
1) Would you leave your 4 1/2 mo baby from late afternoon until late morning/early afternoon the next day? Or take baby? Or not go at all?
2) If leaving baby, how would you go about pumping for the baby (pump a bottle a day for a few days before hand? etc..).

I'm really not wanting to give formula, and I intend to bring my pump along, and pump every few hours (or however often he's eating at that point), and just toss it.

Thanks!

Whiskers

Seraph · 04-15-2009, 01:17 AM

Why don't you have a rehearsal? Leave your baby at your sister's, and see how he and they cope overnight while they can call you. That way you will rest easier if you do it for real. I can see nothing wrong with this myself, one night will not harm the baby. How far away is the wedding? Can you scoot home for the last feed of the evening? Sera.

AnnD · 04-15-2009, 03:16 AM

Well June is such a long way to go in terms of growing baby and what the needs might be in June so when the time comes pump out some milk a week or so before the wedding and just see for yourself how much you will need ...also you need to know if baby will even take a bottle...some will not and so don't leave baby with anyone until you did some of your own bottle feeding with breast milk. If the time comes and baby isn't going to take the bottle for whatever reason then you need to stay home. This is the most special day on the planet for your friend...it is their day and I can't tell you how upsetting it is to the entire wedding party for a baby to scream,holler, or coo or whatever throughout a wedding ..it isn't cute nor is it funny...and no your friend will not like it and they might not say a word but they will hate you forever. There is a time and place for a baby but believe me a wedding is not one of them. If they have said no baby then no baby.

WhiskersOnKittens · 04-15-2009, 12:09 PM

Thank you for the replies!
We have given the baby a bottle this past week actually, just to see if he would take it (it was his first, and he's already 9 weeks old). DH gave it to him without any problems at all, so I know he'll take it fine.
Doing a "rehersal" isn't a bad idea. But actually, she volunteered to come stay at our place on the night of the wedding since she doesn't have the space for the 2 babies to sleep at her place anyway. So they will be on their own turf at least.
And I agree that it would be on the rude side to even ask my friends to bring Brody along, I wouldn't of been too happy with that at my wedding. Somebody actually did bring along a 4 year old grand daughter without asking, and although she was very well behaved, she wasn't invited, and we didn't expect her to be there, so I found it rude. I wouldn't do it anyway--I'd just not go if we can't leave the baby home (or go to the ceremony, and skip out on the reception).

Whiskers

newbmom · 04-18-2009, 07:44 PM

You are not a terrible parent for wanting a "kidless night"

I would ignore the nasty posts about leaving your infant for the night. We left our older son with his grandmother when he was about 4 & a 1/2 months old for about 3 days. Believe me I cried more than he did. Although I wasn't breastfeeding so that aspect was easier. Go to the wedding, do a rehearsal if you can and see how he is doing closer to June. I am sure he will be fine if he knows the person he will be staying with. Make sure he will take the bottle (as you have started to do) and I think it will be fine. Worse case scenario, if the wedding isn't too far from home, you get a cellphone call and need to leave earlier than expected. But Brody sounds like he is going along with the program

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Have a good night out!!