Another BFN.... - Infertility Message Board

tini · 12-28-2006, 08:24 PM

Hello everyone,
I hope all of you had a wonderful X'Mas! I did too, infact i'm in Chicago right now on vacation till the New Year.
Anyway, I had my results today and it was not the results that any of us would like to hear. After 6 attempt at IVF yet another BFN.

I somewhat knew that it would be the case as I had spotted a few days ago. I guess it's just the story of my life. This morning I went to get my blood drawn at one of the Quest clinic here in Chicago. When the nurse called to tell me of the bad news I was fine at first but about 5 minutes later I was sobbing infact as i'm writing this thread right now I can't seem to hold back the tears. My DH was extremely caring towards my feeling I told him to let me cry my eyes out and to leave me alone for a moment. I kept telling myself why do I keep torturing myself with this treatment? Anyone in their right mind would not have gone thru 6 ivf attempt but here i am doing it cycles after cycles. Am I too stupid or just plain ignorant to think that it will eventually work? I'm so mad and angry beyond words

Why me! Why do I kept believing that God will perhaps give me the miracle that I long for and now I'm not so sure if he will ever!!!. I told my DH that I don't think I can do this again and for now we will stop trying for a while even though we still have 3 embies frozen.
This year has been a huge rollercoster ride for us. It's taking a toll on my body, emotion and well being. I hope 2007 will bring all of us the good news and make us a Mommy that we dream of all the time.
I'm going to start the process of international adoption when we get home to pittsburgh and hopefully my dream of becoming a mommy in 2007 will come true. If anyone on this board or know someone who have gone thru an adoption process I would love to hear about it.
Thank you for reading this really long thread and I pray that all of you have a better news to share in future.

sobannon · 12-28-2006, 08:39 PM

Tini,

I am so sorry for your news. You must be a strong person to perservere through 6 IVF attempts. We went through 7 cycles, it is so trying and I was the same after each BFN. Don't touch or talk to me until I take a nap, have my cry and feel the need to get over it. You deserve to be angry and upset. I wish I had the right words, I definitely won't preach. Nothing makes you feel better at this point but expressing your feelings. You are in my thoughts.

Amy

Hopeful38 · 12-28-2006, 08:55 PM

Oh Tini

I'm sorry to hear about your BFN. The only thing that I can do is to send you a big hug. You've been at this longer than I have so I can't give you any words of wisdom or suggestions. Maybe you need a little time off from this exercise to just rest, this is very wearing on relationships as well as our bodies.

I will keep you in my prayers.

cmarie313 · 12-28-2006, 09:14 PM

I am so very sorry Tini that you did not get your bfp this time!!! You are such an amazing woman for enduring 6 IVFs!!!! That in itself shows your determination and dedication to creating your miracle. You have every single right to feel angry and sad and frustrated, I can only imagine. You need to just cry and let it all out, you can't keep the feelings bottled up.

On another note, I think it is so wonderful that you will begin the adoption process when you get home!!!! May 2007 definitely be the year that you become a mommy and have your dreams come true

I hope you enjoy your vacation in Chicago, I live in a northern suburb of Chicago!!!!
{{{{{Big Hugs}}}}
cmarie

ASPROUSEY05 · 12-29-2006, 05:32 AM

tini im so sorry of this bad news.. and everyone is right, vent, scream, cry, be angry, you have every right to feel that way!!! you are so strong to keep going, but you know what if i got pregnant one time out of those, i prob wouldnt give up either because i knew its possible.. just a question.. i always hear of women mentioning internation adoption, doesnt anyone adopt from america anymore?? im just curious

i rad somehwere that there is thousands of children in our country that just never get adopted.. i havent looked to much into adoption, so im just trying to get a hold on the process also.. is it that its hard to adopt infants in america?? after my 2nd failed ivf i started to look online about adoption and it just felt so unreal, i knew i wasnt ready yet! GOOD LUCK TINI, and i hope your vacation brings some relaxation and fun.. i will def. keep you in my thoughts and prayers, good luck ! aimee