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Old 03-01-2007, 07:39 AM   #1
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ML300 HB User
Unhappy Thank you - you are all wonderful women

Well, this journey is over for me too. We found out last night that the IUI was unsuccessful. We had reached the decision that if this IUI was unsuccessful then that would be the end of IF treatments. Although we know in our hearts that it's the right decision, it's still very hard. I'm rather private when it comes to this and I hold my emotions close - I thought I would be able to handle it but I just stood there and cried while willing a 2nd pink line to show up on the hpt. And then, all it took was a hug from DH for the tears to start again. Today will be much more difficult than I thought.
But, what I really want to say is Thank You. I can't begin to tell y'all how much support I've gotten from this group. I honestly couldn't imagine going though it without y'all. I've not been in this fight near as long as some of you ladies and it's been a heck of a rollercoaster for me. I don't know how you ladies deal with all the ups and downs and still have such genuine warmth and concern for others. I told my DH last night what a wonderful group of women make up this board. We are all from all over the country, different backgrounds, fields, financial situations and ages yet we have this 1 struggle in common that has brought us together. What a wonderful gift "meeting" such a terrific group of women has been. I wish that I had the ability to get everybody together in one place so that I could personally tell each of you what an honor and priviledge it has been to have your support, wisdom, care and just company on this journey.
I think part of what makes this so difficult is there are all these great women who fight, stuggle & long to be called "Momma" yet are unable to concieve, then you read the paper, listen to the news, at a mall or just talk to friends and, there's some one who has no clue what a gift a child truly is.
Each of you will be a wonderful mother. I will continue to keep y'all in my prayers, that you will end this journey holding a healthy baby in your arms.
God Bless you all and thank you once again for keeping me company .... and sane. Keep spreading the baby dust round !!!

Michelle Icklone
3rd IUI 2/07
2nd IUI 11/06
1st IUI 9/06
m/c 11/05
m/c 01/04

 
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Old 03-01-2007, 07:59 AM   #2
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deluka96 HB User
Re: Thank you - you are all wonderful women

Hi Michelle,

It breaks my heart to read your post. I still have the chills. Thank you so much for all your kind words. I am so very sorry that it was a BFN. This is one of the hardest thing anyone can go through and each of us has to decide for ourselves when enough is enough. I hope whatever you decide to do next I really hope and pray that it brings you and DH much happiness... and that this journey, as much as it is difficult brought you and DH closer than ever. I will be praying for you that you will still have your miracle whether it be on TTC your own, you decide to start tx again or decide to adopt. I read an e-mail a got the other day that says "If god brings you to it, he will bring you through it." I hope that is the case for all of us. May your next journey forfill you in ways you never even imagined!!!! I am getting choked up so I will end here. Take good care of yourself!!!

kathy

Last edited by deluka96; 03-01-2007 at 08:01 AM.

 
Old 03-01-2007, 08:04 AM   #3
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Mapia74 HB User
Re: Thank you - you are all wonderful women

ML300 I am so sorry u got a BFN.IF is a very stressful thing to face.But I wont quit I cant not when I want something so bad.I guess if there was a situation where I would have to stop then I would.Everyone is different and there is only so much a person can take.

My situation is a little different I am on IUI #6 I have no issues but DH is sterile.So we are doing IUI with donor sperm.I had a chemical pregnancy last month so we now know I can get pregnant.I am in the 2ww for iui #6.I am also saying I dont know what I will do after this try cause I dont know how much longer I can deal with this.So I cant blame u for taking a break.Maybe when u are well and ready again u could try again.

I really hope u and DH find ur path in life.I will keep u in my prayers.U are so right about these boards these women are great.They have helped me through some rough times and I dont know how I could ever repay them.I just keep them in my prayers.Good luck hun and I hope u get ur miracle someday.

Mapia

 
Old 03-01-2007, 08:14 AM   #4
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Re: Thank you - you are all wonderful women

Hi Michelle.

I know this must be so hard for you right now. It is so frustrating and heartbreaking. Thank God you and DH have each other to help get through it. I think it must take a while to come to the decision you have made, and i know it wasn't easy to do. but only you know what is best for you. You must take care of yourself. I hope the next weeks help you heal and repair yourself. IF is a tough journey all around and I wish you the best of luck in the future. Take Care.

 
Old 03-01-2007, 09:12 AM   #5
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TryN2BMommy HB User
Re: Thank you - you are all wonderful women

Michelle honey, I'm so sorry you had to make this decision. I was praying this one would work for you. You have shown a lot of support for me and others on the board yourself, so I wanted to thank you for that. I will really miss you, and I hope you and DH will find much happiness without the constant pain of IF. Best wishes and huge hugs your way.

Holly

 
Old 03-01-2007, 09:19 AM   #6
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lahc1 HB User
Re: Thank you - you are all wonderful women

Michelle,

I am so sorry about you BFN. I know this decision must have been so hard for you and DH. You are a wonderful woman too and have given tremendous support right back to all of us. I wish you the best as you and DH recover from this and move on. ((hugs))

Lori

 
Old 03-01-2007, 10:17 AM   #7
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pisces68 HB User
Re: Thank you - you are all wonderful women

Hi Michelle,
Well I guess we're in the same boat. On to new journey's in our lives. I know how you feel and exactly what you and your DH are going through. It was a hard decision to make but there is always still some hope in the future for a miracle. I'll be thinking of you and praying for a happy and healthy life.
You're right about these girls here about their courage and strength and support they sincerely have for each other.
Keep us posted, and hopefully , one day , I'll see your name again with some good news/miracle
takecare,
Jona

 
Old 03-01-2007, 11:28 AM   #8
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Re: Thank you - you are all wonderful women

Hi Michelle. Tears came to my eyes reading your thread. I am so sorry for you and DH. It sounds like this is a very hard decision for you to make. I am sure that it is... I can't imagine being in your shoes, though we may be someday. I wanted to cry reading what you wrote about all of us wanting a baby so badly and then reading about people who have no clue how precious the gift of a child is. I have thought of that many, many times.

I pray that you and DH will get your gift someday through a pure surprise. Good luck to you both as you go in another direction.

Anna Leigh

 
Old 03-01-2007, 03:29 PM   #9
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babywish HB User
Re: Thank you - you are all wonderful women

Hi Michelle,

Your message is truly heart-touching. It must have been difficult to have come to this decision. But I will pray for your well-being and happiness in whatever you will be doing in the near future. May you and DH be blessed with great strength and love you have for each other.

Good luck.

 
Old 03-01-2007, 04:53 PM   #10
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cmarie313 HB User
Re: Thank you - you are all wonderful women

Oh Michelle,
I am so sorry that your IUI ended the way it did. My heart goes out to you and DH and the pain you are feeling in your hearts right now. The journey through IF is nothing like anyone could ever imagine and you are such an amazingly strong woman for traveling it!!!!! I really wish that things could have ended differently for you. I can only pray that your heart finds peace in the decision you have come to (because I know that it is such a hard decision to make) and that someday you will have a true miracle happen and your arms will be filled with love We will all be here for you if you ever need us!!!!!! Best of luck to you honey and take care of yourself and your DH!
cmarie
__________________
*Angel Baby July '05
*1st IVF...Triplets due 12/3/07
*Conjoined Angel Babies May '07
*Olivia Grace born 10/23/07...our little miracle!

 
Old 03-02-2007, 08:47 AM   #11
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bricely HB User
Re: Thank you - you are all wonderful women

Michelle,

i'm sorry you got a bpn, i know its hard but let me telly you a story i have a friend that tried the IF for 5 years, with no success so they decided to adopt, since they couldn't get pg. 3 years later she started to feel sick she went to the doctor to get some medicine and ended up finding out she was pg. i believe we want the baby so bad that we put so much pressure on ourselves and stress over the whole situation so our bodies can only take so much and as for my friend they stopped thinking about having kids because they had already adopted a little girl so the pressure was off and they were able to conceive without even wanting too and ended up having a little boy . so i feel there still hope for you and for everyone on this thread.

 
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