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Some people have NO CONSIDERATION!!!

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Old 04-24-2007, 08:46 AM   #1
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eurokelly HB User
Some people have NO CONSIDERATION!!!

I just need a 2 minute vent...and what better place???

So my best friend tells me a few weeks ago that she is pregnant again (2nd oops baby in 2 years)....and she tells me by email. I know why, I know it is hard when she knows what my circumstances are but still....i let it go....

Then another friend todays sends me an instant message on my work computer to tell me she is as well why can't people just show some consideration and pick up the phone? I would feel better, they would feel better. This is just such a cop-out.....

And of course, AF due any time now which is probably why I want to get under the duvet and cry for a week...nothing to do with well-meaning but scaredy-cat friends...

So I pick up the phone to chase my lap and dye test date and the hospital computer system burned out and they "simply don't know" when it will be up and running again to schedule me in

So i will try to think happy thoughts and hope my acupuncurist can calm me down on Thursday before I turn bitter and mean. always.....


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Old 04-24-2007, 08:59 AM   #2
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Puyallup, Wa, USA
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jessparm HB User
Re: Some people have NO CONSIDERATION!!!

That stinks. I sort of know how you feel, everyone around me is pregnant, and they are all so happy, as they should be, but it just depresses me! I came home last night after volleyball last night and there were three prego women...... one just found out and kept describing it as her parasite.... that just got my goat!!!! Well, anyway, I understand what you're feeling, I think.... best of luck!!!!

Old 04-24-2007, 09:01 AM   #3
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carisa HB User
Re: Some people have NO CONSIDERATION!!!

I'm sorry, we've all been there a million times. I still get mad when I think about it. My good friend didn't even tell me she was pregnant, she kept it hidden from me until she was 7 months along! She lives on the east coast, so we would talk all of the time on the phone. I was so mad!! It would have been way easier if she told me in the beginning. I didn't even find out from her, I found out from a mutual friend who "felt sorry for me" because she knew she was hiding it from me. She told me she just kept waiting for me to get pregnant so she could tell me then!! Yeah right, it's NOT easy for me to get pregnant, so don't wait till then!!!
Yeah, and we all have those friends who tell us how easy it was for them, and how they wish it weren't that way. I think those are the worst!
Don't worry though, they don't know how they are coming off. I think if they knew, they would be embarrassed. I like to think that anyway
Good luck and I hope your acupuncurist could help you de-stress!!


Last edited by carisa; 04-24-2007 at 09:03 AM.

Old 04-24-2007, 09:08 AM   #4
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eurokelly HB User
Re: Some people have NO CONSIDERATION!!!

Thanks so much ~ it makes me feel a bit better straight away when I get the reminder that you all know how it feels (because it somethimes seems like nobody in my world does!)

I has a time last year when everyone was pregnant around me and it was hard to take going through losses myself, but then I have had a few months since the last of that bunch was born and had kind of forgotten, and now I hear of 3 in as many weeks and it is so frustrating all over again.....

thanks again - you are lovely xxx

Old 04-24-2007, 09:09 AM   #5
Join Date: Apr 2007
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marinewife12 HB User
Re: Some people have NO CONSIDERATION!!!

If you want to salvage these friendships, I think maybe this is something you should tell them. Something like "I know you were trying to think of a way to tell me where it wouldn't hurt me, but this wasn't it. I would rather you just tell me to my face." This lets them know that in the future, coping out won't fly with you.

Sometimes people just don't think. In this case, it seems as though maybe they were attempting to figure out how to let you down easy...they just did it in the wrong way. Just let them know.


Old 04-24-2007, 09:10 AM   #6
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Kari15 HB User
Re: Some people have NO CONSIDERATION!!!

I have had the same thing happen that Carisa described. A good friend from work who I had confided in about my struggle with IF never told me she was Pg until it was very much physically obvious - I don't think she realized it actually hurt me more than she intended. It seems that people who haven't had any trouble conceiving simply don't understand what it's like to be on the receiving end of their good news... it's our heartache and I wish they could be more sensitive to the delivery.

Old 04-24-2007, 09:33 AM   #7
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Mapia74 HB User
Re: Some people have NO CONSIDERATION!!!

Kelly so sorry to hear ur friends are being this way.Some people just dont understand that its worse to hide it or write to u about it.When my BF found out she was pregnant I was the first person she called cause she knows no matter what I am so happy for her.I appreciated her doing that she did tell me she dident know how I would react but she said she dident care she had to tell me.I love her for that.Well I hope ur friends can be a little more considerate otherwise they arent worth ur time.Good luck sweetie.


Old 04-24-2007, 09:59 AM   #8
Amy 333
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Amy 333 HB User
Re: Some people have NO CONSIDERATION!!!


I am so sorry you are going through all this. . . i know its not easy. The actions and words of people surrounding us affect us all so much.
Yesterday at work i met a co worker who is on maternity leave. She gave birth a month ago. She told me that he husband decided to go for a 4 month holiday coz he s feeling bored. I just couldn t believe it. People don t understand what we go through coz they had their kids effortless. One thing s sure . . . we ll never take our kids forgranted.
DH couldn t understand why i was upset about this incident either .. he said its none of my buisiness.

Have you tested yet? how come you are so sure that af is about to show up? You may be prego!!!!!!! And if you re not you ve started your next step to becoming a mommy. And even though your road may be slightly longer than your friends .. you ll get there.


Old 04-24-2007, 10:26 AM   #9
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deluka96 HB User
Re: Some people have NO CONSIDERATION!!!

Hey there,

So sorry your having a bad day. No matter what it's always hard to hear when our friends are getting pregnant when we desperately want to join the mommie group too. I think some friends just don't know what to say or how to react so they do what they think is best. I am sure it is not to hurt you but b/c the care about you and don't want to hurt you. Try to hang in there days like these are so hard sometimes and they do seem unfair. But you will have your turn and it will be all the more special when you do!!


Old 04-24-2007, 09:32 PM   #10
Black Kat
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Black Kat HB User
Re: Some people have NO CONSIDERATION!!!

Hey Kelly! I know exactly how you feel. What gets me is the women who get pg on a dime and they don't even want babies! Definitely not fair! And you're right, you came to a good place to vent! We are always here to listen! Hang in there and one day soon you'll be making the announcement!


Old 04-25-2007, 01:32 AM   #11
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eurokelly HB User
Re: Some people have NO CONSIDERATION!!!

Wow, you are truly amazing girls, and Amy, to answer your question, I didn't test and I really don't need to, the fact that the empathy on this board made me cry this morning tells me AF is just around the corner.....I always appreciate everyone here, but the tears usually only come with the witch

I am already more rational about the situation with friends, they make mistakes because they don't want to hurt me and they truly do not understand. And I am so glad that they don't understand because that would mean they lost babies and been through this bloody horrible thing as well, and I wouldn't wish it for anyone.

Thank you all and big fat baby wishes all around xxx

Old 04-25-2007, 02:25 AM   #12
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rubynz HB User
Re: Some people have NO CONSIDERATION!!!

Hey Kell

Sending you a HUGE cyber hug to cheer you up!


Old 04-26-2007, 06:46 AM   #13
Join Date: Mar 2007
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JAM82 HB User
Re: Some people have NO CONSIDERATION!!!


I know exactly what you mean, my friend told me by txt!(this was a while ago now) but when she says she could be doing with a night out i offer to babysit if im not busy she completeley avoids it! anyone else babysit can do it.(i mean its not like im going to try to steal her child!!!)im just trying to be nice!
And my other so called friend found out she was expecting (which wasnt good for her) made her decisions and now because she feels bad b/c of my situation doesnt speak to me at all! (we have'nt fell out she just cant face me) even tho i stood by her in her decision. Whats that all about?

On wed i had my hospital appt and the if ward is also a gyno ward (but theres if stuff all over the walls ect) some woman brings her sister,hubby and her new born baby! What did you leave your brain at the door? i can handle babies in my face no problem but im not that good when at if appts especially if things are not moving as quick as id like.

But these things and people are sent to try us.
Keep your chin up,they are not worth the stress anyway.


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