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Old 10-24-2007, 09:12 AM   #1
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airline HB User
you're kidding.... i'm such an idiot

well i've made some stuff ups in my life,but this one takes the cake. i've posted on a couple of threads, but i'm very new to this, and been learning a lot reading this forum. my very first referral to a IF clinic was today. I've waited v. impatiently for just over 2 weeks, inc. a lovely hormonal visit from AF where EVERYTHING was exaggerated in my head. I found out my hubby couldn't attend as he had to go to UK for his grandad's funeral...I got my head around that, and was approaching this appointment calmly and prepared.

What do I do today?? I get the time wrong I arrived thinking I was early, but I was 45 minutes late and doc had gone home. I teared up in front of receptionist, rushed back to car, had a sob, called her and made next available appointment.....in another fortnights time.

I know, that whichever path you take, none of them are particularly easy, or quick....but I've struggled waiting for someone to just interpret our results, and give us some options so we can look to the future. (we have low sperm count 8mill in 1ml, 3.5 good sperm) I feel that if I'm not strong enough to not cry because I've got to wait longer for my first appointment due to my own stupidity and mistake....how will I cope when I really face disappointment.

sorry to be so longwinded, but it's 2.18am here,I'm just home from work (nightshift that I had to go to once i'd composed myself in the clinic car park), and my hubby is somewhere between Hong Kong and Australia so I can't talk to him. so thank you for 'listening' Tx

 
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Old 10-24-2007, 09:54 AM   #2
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PrincessSweetNS HB UserPrincessSweetNS HB UserPrincessSweetNS HB UserPrincessSweetNS HB User
Re: you're kidding.... i'm such an idiot

OH darling, I'm so sorry!! That must be so frustrating. I can nderstand because somehting similar happened to me where i waited very impatiently for about 3 weeks to see my gyn, and when I finally had the nerve to ask when my turn would be, they said that he had gone for the day (due to an emergency) and I coudl have the soonest appointment---- two weeks from that day. The day came and I got seen by my new favourite doctor He was worth the wait.

All I can tell you dear, is not to beat yourself up. I know, you just want to kick the couch, but don't worry too much. Oh you porr thing, I'm so sorry you have to be going through this. Have a small glass of wine (just one small glass can't hurt!) and put your feet up and think of way to pass the time. (I believe a fortnight is two weeks, no??) We;ll for sure help you pass time!!

We're here for you, and don't worry, you WILL get your BFP and next time you'll be early for your appointment

 
Old 10-24-2007, 10:58 AM   #3
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Re: you're kidding.... i'm such an idiot

I am so sorry you missed you appointment by being late, but it happens to the best of us. I know you are frustrated right now, but waiting a fortnight might not be so bad as DH will be there with you this time round. I know it is hard but try to see the positive side. I hope you can get some sleep and before you know it Dh will be home to comfort you. Two week is not that far off and the days seem to be fly by lately so before you know it you next appointment will be here .

Chin up we are here for you

Charlene

 
Old 10-24-2007, 01:35 PM   #4
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Re: you're kidding.... i'm such an idiot

Airline, I'm really sorry you missed your appt. That is a huge disappointment when you were expecting to get some answers today. Don't be so hard on yourself about getting emotional. I think most of us can relate. And don't worry about making it through the rest of this journey. No matter what life (or IF) throws at us, we always seem to come out on the other side stronger than before. You will make it. And we will be w/ you every step of the way.

Hope you're feeling better.

Holly

 
Old 10-24-2007, 04:08 PM   #5
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Re: you're kidding.... i'm such an idiot

thank you girls, after about 4 hours or so of sleep, I've stumbled out of bed, and realised I was not in such a great mood. tiredness combined with recent events, working shifts etc hasn't helped but having logged on I feel much better already. (I still look rubbish...but I feel better )

my DH has been hanging out to come home..(he says it's far too cold in UK now!) and I'll be picking him up in an hour. yeh!

Thank you for all your kind words, Princess yes fortnight is 2 weeks and you're right part of me wanted to kick the couch....but I went to work and tried to forget it for a while. (noone there knows yet)

Thanks Charlene, having been morose about it yesterday, I'm thinking maybe it was fate, cos DH should be there with me really, plus I'm now on a day off on day of appointment, so I can go home and digest info. instead of having to put a mask on for work.

Holly, you sound v. wise, and you're right, one way or another we get through all kinds of stuff life throws at us. I was just so calm and serene re. the situation....but the previous week had been bouncing of the wall with heightened emotions and concerns. I don't want to revisit that in a hurry, and guess I'm worried about that...and I know DH is.

I feel also feel bad, due the fact that a close friend of mine is suffering from fibroids and endimetriosis. She's had fibroids removed, but some are in the wall of the uterus and so they've put her on a nasal spray that induces a mini menopause to allow her body to settle down. But they also then found the endometriosis, and I think that's also in the wall. She's been in so much pain, and she and her partner have only this year decided to have babies, she's 37 and my heart goes out to her. Yesterday, I actually had taken her to an emergency doc appointment as she'd been in terrible pain, went to the pharmacy for her, tucked her up in my spare bed etc. for the day.

She's in a far worse situation, waiting for an MRI on her uterus, meanwhile being in such pain and obviously not wanting a hystorectomy, and I'm trying to be all nonchalent about my situation cos it's no where near as bad as hers.

Sorry for going on a bit, but yesterday was a big day. Thank you again for your kind words, I'm going to have a shower and go and get my DH and catch up on missed cuddles.

 
Old 10-24-2007, 07:56 PM   #6
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Re: you're kidding.... i'm such an idiot

I am so sorry this happened to you, and it really is upsetting isn't it. I remember trying to get my hsg test done 3 times, as the dr was sick, then the machine broke down etc etc and I was so frustrated as the waiting was terrible. So I hope the next couple of weeks fly by and you will get to your appointment and things will look up for you.

 
Old 10-25-2007, 04:20 AM   #7
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Re: you're kidding.... i'm such an idiot

I am just checking in on you and I hope you are enjoying all the cuddles you missed out on. I am sure DH is giving you lots of TLC. Enjoy your day or evening whichever one it is.

Thinking of you

Charlene

 
Old 10-25-2007, 04:59 AM   #8
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Re: you're kidding.... i'm such an idiot

I am just checking in on you and I hope you are enjoying all the cuddles you missed out on. I am sure DH is giving you lots of TLC. Enjoy your day or evening whichever one it is.

Thinking of you

Charlene

 
Old 10-25-2007, 06:47 AM   #9
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Re: you're kidding.... i'm such an idiot

Hi dearest, I am juste saying hi and hoping that today you are feeling better. I am so sorry for your friend to be going through this. I hope that you and your friend overcome these IF issues very quickly and find yourselves with sticking, healthy BFPS. Again, hoping today is much better.

********babydust******

 
Old 10-25-2007, 09:46 AM   #10
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Re: you're kidding.... i'm such an idiot

Hi Airline, I know that I am late in posting, but still wanted to say how sorry I am to hear that you had such a rough day missing your appointment. We all make those kinds of mistakes every now and again, it just really stinks when it does happen especially when it involves something so close to our heart like an IF appt. I get the impression from your last post that you are feeling better about it... in fact, it seems like you've found the positive in it as DH will be able to go with you now! I am very sorry to hear about your friend. My best wishes go out to both her and you. Keep us posted on how things go, okay?

 
Old 10-26-2007, 03:34 AM   #11
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airline HB User
Re: you're kidding.... i'm such an idiot

thank you ladies, been a busy day here hence haven't paid my usual 4 daily visits to the site!

yes I caught up on cuddles with DH, amongst other things
I thought i was coping quite well, but did get a little upset yesterday evening, but i guess if it's bubbling under the surface, it'll pop up every now and then.

my dear girlfriend's update is not so good. I got a call from her when I woke this morning, and she was in tears again with the pain. So I took her back to the doc who thank god, said the obvious stating that she can't keep going on like this whilst waiting on an uterus MRI in dec. and called her gyn, so I took her there this afternoon. She not only had the abdominal pain still, but had been bleeding a little, and then once the nausea left, got diarreaha. Poor thing.

I waited till her partner arrived, and they've admitted her to hospital tonight, and from what he said they're doing a lot of tests, determined to find out what's going on. There is a possibility that falling pregnant may help apparently, so IVF may even be a consideration.

Again it puts my own life in perspective and I feel ashamed for not being stronger. She's a real inspiration girls. She's had a lot of knocks in life....she lost both parents in motorbike accident aged 17, she's inherited issues with her knees and had to have 2 knee reconstructions, which meant she had to alter her career path, and now all of this. She has an amazing partner though, and really truly has the most beautiful smile and nature. She is an


 
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