I'm so happy to find this message board. I've been dealing with infertiltiy beacuse of PCOS for three and a half years. I started to see the RE in October after three years with my obgyn. I am supposed to do Provera (to start a cycle), the clomid, the have u/s, the hgc, then IUI. I did one cycle, didn't have a big enough follical to keep going with the process. So the RE put me back on provera and in the process I couldn't handle the stress and hormons and wound up in the pysch ward. So the RE said we couldn't continue with the cycle. I was devestated!! I feel like I have no control! So I got better and am on meds, and counseling so I can start over again whenever I want.
The thing is that I'm nervous to start again. I keep telling people I'm just waiting until the holidays are over but honestly I'm terrified. I can't handle anymore bad news.
Sorry I took up so much space but can anyone relate?
I can definitely relate to the stress. DH and I went to dinner tonight and both said that we feel like we've aged SOOOO much this year. We've been TTC for about 14 months, had 2 IVF cycles, 1 successful in Sept 07 but ended in a miscarriage at 10 weeks....talk about a stressful year!!!
I personally think that seeing a counselor/psych specialist is a fantastic idea. Other people deal with stress of IF in different ways (acupuncture, massages, etc). My RE office has a monthly group session where we can talk about things and i've started going to that, which helps.
I understand what you mean about no control and being scared, but talking on this board is also a huge help. We are always here and listening if you need us!
I'm so sorry for all that you've been through. You've definitely come to the right place for support. There are some amazing people here. We have been ttc for a little more than 4 1/2 years. I can completely relate to feeling out of control. I think it's great that you are seeking support, and I hope that we can help.
Oh dear, dont we all know what you are going through. IF is a hard road, and coping during the Holidays its very tough. I am happy I have found this board here, seeing some of us getting their BFPs and keep comming back with updates on their pregnancies and delivery it gives me strength to move forward, there is hope for us. Some of us have to wait longer, but we will all be parents one day, one way or another.
The hormones we take help us achieve our goal, but with a huge pay. I got to points when I couldnt do it nomore, I took a break of 2 or 3 months, got my peace back, and got back on the IF ride again.
Here on the board are alot of ladies with PCOS, you are not alone.
Thank you so much. Today was a very rough day for me. I haven't been this effected by comercials or "baby thoughts" in along time. I even had a "baby" dream last night and woke up feelinf hopeful and then remembered that AF had come. Oh well, I'll get through Christmas and then make an appointment with my RE and go from there. Not much more I could do.
I want my DH to come on this board and read these things and see that I am not the only person that goes through this. Bee's Wife, that is great there is a support group at your RE's office. I would love to have something like that. I have called the local hospitals and nothing. This is the next best thing though. As for getting professional help with a therapist, I have heard, not sure if it is true for all insurance companies but try to pay for it yourself without using your insurance because I know someone who was dropped from her insurance right after using it to see a psychiatrist because she was considered "High risk" I guess they'd rather see you hurt yourself or someone else before paying for you to talk it out. The holidays have been very hard for me too. You go into the mall and see all these cute toys that you would love to be buying for your own child.
All of those thoughts are totally normal, and unfortunately there are so many ups and downs associated with IF. Making an appointment with your RE is a great first step and once there is a plan in place, I hope that will bring you a bit of peace.
I think PCOS is such a curse. Its a horrible thing. Its bad enough that anyone has to deal with IF, but then you ad PCOS to the mix. I am so sorry you have to deal with it. Are you on Metformin? Has it helped at all with your cycles? Are you going to start seeing an RE that specializes in PCOS?
I am so sorry for all that you have been through. Kudos to you for seeking help, I think it is wonderful that some RE offices offer suppport groups. I wish I had a group of ladies to talk to in person too, but the ladies here on the board are my life line and we have collectively been through it all. These ladies will cheer you up, make you laugh, cry all at the same time and we also allow you to vent and stomp your feet. We will back you up if you want to advice and support, there is tremendous love on this board.
We all will be mommies someday, we have to keep believing. It sounds like you are on similar meds as I was on but I don't have PCOS. But keep remembering that IF sucks and the hormonal roller coasters are enough to make anyone crazy. That clomid is some potent stuff to, when I was using it, I would start crying for no apparent reason. My DH hated me being on that, but you will pull through it and we will help you, I promise.
I was on metformin a few years ago and I don't remember why I stopped taking it......I did help with some of the symptoms but it didn't do much for my cycles...I am seeing a RE but I'm not sure he specializes in Pcos but I seem to like the office....right now it's hard because the PCOS causes hair growth and darken of the skin so I am trying to deal with symptoms and the IF at the same time