Hi Princess! Just wondering if there has been any sign of AF. If I recall correctly, I think 7 days past your last pill of provera would be tomorrow (Monday), so that's when I'd expect you'd get her.... (that's just based on my last couple go's with provera). Just want you to know that I'm thinking of you. Hope you had a nice weekend!!!
Oh Kari and Car you are too sweet, thinking of me!! No sign of AF however. Nothing at all.
I had kind of an IF related "argument" (more like a loud conversation really, to be clear.) with Dh yesterday. He and my MIL (she was on speakphone during all of this...) think that I'm being to stressed out by IF. For the usual reasons, because I get upset when I see pg women, it's hard to see kids being mistreated (not just hard in the normal way to see it, but to the point where I get in my car and start crying) and really hard to see kids getting spoiled to the point where they are brats and nobody wants them over. Well, of course they were both not very understanding of that (surprise, surprise..) and they both started yelling at me that if I don't relax, it'll never happen. And of course, I started to cry which made things ten times worse.
I do relax, and de-stress, but they said that doing say, yoga, just for the sake of relaxing and telling yourself to relax won't work. And to a certain degree, I see their point. But, what am I supposed to do? I actually got very mad at DH and yelled at him (I rarely ever yell) "I love you so much, all I want to give you is a child!! And I can't do it!! I don't expect you to understand how that feels, but don't tell me that I'm too tense and then offer me NO solutions on how to relax. It's easy to point out the problems, so either help or don't talk."
I think I kind of shocked him. And then all he said was "I want us to have a baby too. It doesn't matter if it's you or me who has the problem. When I put that ring on your finger, you and me didn't exist anymore. It's just us, we're one. You think it doesn't rip me up inside seeing you cry after seeing a pregnant woman, or a baby? It kills me. Don't tell me I don't understand." It sounds nice, but he was yellling it at the time. (MIL still listening)
She just kept saying that I have to relax. Take the pills, but stop crying after seeing pg women. She says that it sounds to her that I'm giving up hope when I've barely even started trying. She said that where there's a will there is a way. (All of this sounds nice, but believe me, the deliverance needed some work. LOL)
But later on, after we let MIL go we both calmed down and really reflected on what was said. (And I felt better at what he said. He just really needs to work on HOW he says things LOL) He held me close and said "You WILL have you baby." That's all he said, and for some reason, every time I think about it, I tear up. I don't knnow if I'm sad, or happy, or what. But I do.
Another emotional day LOL. But it's good. The only thing is.....how do you relax? I mean, I totally agree with them adn everyone here who says you can't get stressed out. Your body won't let you get pg when your stressed, because it thinks something externally is wrong. But how do you "let it go"? And still be positive? I really don't understand. How are you supposed to relax fully? I can't wrap my mind around it.
Anyway, I called my obgyn for an appointment wed. morning to see abotu AF coming. I don't think I'm pg, so I'm not even considering that an option. Maybe that's being negative. Maybe that's "letting it go". How the heck am I supposed to know, I am so confused. I just hope that maybe he can give Provera for longer (becase I don't think 5 days is long enough) and maybe it'll work this time.
I hope everyone is having a great day!! (And just to be clear again DH and I didn't argue, we just had a loud conversation )
Hi Princess wow sounds like a pretty powerful conversation you had with DH and MIL.Well I am glad you guys talked it out and now you feel better about things.As for AF not showing her face yet who knows whats going on.Glad you got an appointment to see GYN on Weds. maybe you can get some answers.Well sweetie hope you are having a wonderful day.
Hi Mapia!! Yes, it was a very intense couple of hours. We kept MIL awake until midnight her time!! But in the end, I guess it has worked out, not that there was anyhting wrong. But that we just vented a bit. I just can't figure out how I am supposed to relax?? I mean, I'm getting stressed thinking abotu ways to relax and... I just don't understand. I'm having a great day, and I hope everyone else is too!!
So sorry to hear AF hasn't shown yet. She's such a witch. I'm really hoping she will come visit you before your appt so you won't have to take any more provera. I also wanted to say that what your DH said about when he put the ring on your finger, you and he became one...is one of the sweetest things I have ever heard. Even if he needs to work on his delivery ()! I'm glad that you were able to discuss those things, even if you didn't agree 100%. It definitely helps to get all those feelings out & know that you support one another. I know your baby is coming sweetie. Just hang in there.
Holly, thank you so much. I really need to hear that. I mean, I have faith, but I have no many questions in my mind. My MIL said something though that stuck in my mind, you can't keep stressign out and thinking about it all the time. You have to learn to give it to ____(God, destiny, whatever.) She said we have to imagine ourselves as gardeners, that once we plant a seed, we do everything to make sure it grows. Water it, give it light sing to it.. etc. That's like us going to doctors appointments, and takign medications, doing procedures, those are all good, proactive things that will give us our babies. But when we stress, that's like after doing all those things, we dig up the seed to see f it has roots, or how it's doing. It does more harm than good.
I'm just having trouble sticking to watering and singing, and putting down the trowel. How do you put it down? How are you not supposed to stress?
I too wish I knew how NOT to stress out but it is nearly impossible! No one knows what this is like until they have been through it! If I hear one more time "just stop thinking about it and your day will come" I will scream.
Princess I am sorry that you and DH had a heated conversation, but at least you both got things off your chests. Trying to relax is the hardest thing to do when you are dealing with IF, no matter how hard you try it is not easy. If only could flip a switch and bam we would be relaxed.....if only it was that easy.
I am a person who stresses easily (I had a stomach ulcer at the age of 19) and about the smallest things, but I try not let little things stress me out anymore, by that I mean the things I cannot control. It is extremely difficult for me because I am a bit of a control freak. I think that is where the Virgo in me comes out.
As for AF I hope she shows soon but if she doesn't at least you have an appointment with the gyn on Wed, hopefully he will have some answers for you.
HI Jennifer! I know, if someone else tells me "relax and it will happen," or "It will happen when you least expect it" I really will scream. I'm just reading a site about stress and IF, and the doctor says that a lot of his patients don't like being told to relax because it's like pepople are blaming them like "If you would relax, you would be pg by now..." Maybe that's another, subconcious reason why we don't like it?
Hi Char! Exactly, if only it was that easy to relax and put our minds to ease. I wish there were more I can do, but there isn't. Like you, I have always had problems with worry.... I just wish there was a way to switch everything on low.
Anyway I hope you ladies are having a wonderful day... and I keep telling AF that if sh'es going to show, then she better show now. She has until Wed to show her ugly face, and if she doesn't, well on wed I'll have a new battle plan to bring her around.
Hi Princess I just wanted to say that what your MIL said about planting your seed was so true.Made me think as well she is right and what a great comment that was.Sounds like you have a good MIL.Glad she could help you a bit.I know its hard when people tell you to relax but they only want whats best for us even though we dont want to hear it.All these months of taking a break I have been trying to relax and get my mind and body at peace so I can try my last shot at IUI.Then I thought OMG I will be 34 next month and got me stressed.So I thought more about it and said hey I am not going to stress about the age thing I have another year before my fertility starts to decline right?So no worries no stress have to get our bodies in good shape and that does mean no stress.I am not going to tell you not to stress but I am sure you will figure out something to do in order to let some stress out.Well sweetie I am glad you are having a good day that always helps.
I'm sorry you are still waiting for AF - what a drag. Hope things have calmed down since your emotional discussions with DH and MIL, but I also think that is SO lovely what your DH said. It is good to shout sometimes and get things out! As for relaxing - if only there was a magic pill or something that could make worries vanish.. we'd all be addicts. I guess it's trying things out to see what works for you.. deep breathing, yoga, meditation, funny tv shows, fresh air, nice food.. I don't know really! I guess I've managed to relax a bit this cycle because I got so worked up at the beginning, thinking I had no control whatsoever, that I gave up trying to control anything. As a result I feel a bit more relaxed because the pressure is off. The pressure I'd put on myself, that is! Oops, I didn't mean this to be an essay. Anyway sweetheart, you'll have lots of babies, I know it, and the first isn't too far away now.
Oh Princess Im so sorry you are going through such an emotional time right now. You are such a beautiful person and deserve to have all the wonderful things in life. Im going to have a serious word with Aunt Flo and tell her to get off her lazy butt and do her job (Ill even get the horse whips out). Well I wish you all the best and good luck at your appt.
Oh Princess, ma belle cherie. It is hard not to stress and worry. If any of us had a completely effective answer to that question, well I guess we wouldn't be here talking to each other, would we?
And I too can't seem to focus solely on the watering and singing (what a beautiful analogy ). But clearly we all want a baby very badly or we wouldn't put ourselves thru this. We're meant to be mommies... we just want the answer to the question of "when". I hope it's soon for you, and each and every lovely lady who visits this board, whether they post often or simply lurk. Anyone who is here searching for info and support has a deep hole in their heart waiting to be filled by the miracle of a child in their lives. It'll happen sweetie... I just don't know exactly when... and I won't tell you to relax
Hoping AF comes on her own, but if not, I'm so glad you made an appt already with Obgyn. You're being pro-active and I think that's a good thing
Good morning ladies!! I know it's Tuesday, but it really feels like Monday!! I didn't wake up well (my bed was too cozy lol!) so I'm still trying to wake up LOL!!
Mapia: MIL is a really good person. She is right about the seed and how not to dig it up. I've been trying to relax, and take a quiet moment to just think "What will be, will be. I don't have to be in control." And while I'm doing that, I picture me holding a baby, or rocking one to sleep. And the calm I feel afterwards... it's so nice. I hope you're having a nice day!
Lizzie-- those are really good sugestions. I think I need to do some moe of those. Sometimes I get so swept up in daily routine that I let those thigns slide. I can't even remember the last time I went outside and just explored and had fun. We're supposed to get another snowstorm today (three in the past two weeks... I've givien up on driving. ) so maybe I'll make a cup of the chocolate and watch the snow fall.
Cashahn-- Your post made me smile; you are so dear, and so supportive. And you are more than welcome to give AF a good slap in the face, kick in the bum, or horsewhip, whatever works!! Just want to start this cycle already!!!!! Thnk you for the luck, I'll be needing it!
Kari-- Exactly, you ladies are so perfect, cherie, truly. I honestly think I'm addicted to the boards!! It doesn't matter, as addictions go, I think being addicted to the boards is the best. I think it was REALLY sweet of your mention the lurkers.. I soemtimes forget that people lurk here for information, or out of interest. (I'm one of the ones who jumped right in) I pray that every woman (or man) here, active or not, has the gap in the sole filled by the baby/babies they so dearly deserve and yearn for. And thnk you for reassuring me that calling gyn is being pro-active and not stressy.
All right, I'm off to visit everyone else's threads!! I can't believe its only 10am here. Not even 10am....like 9:48am. Why can't it be 4pm or 5??? I want to go hooome