Time to Start Over - Infertility Message Board

Kari15 · 02-27-2008, 01:57 PM

Well it wasn't good today. The only thing seen on the u/s was my normal pathetic excuse for a lining... less than a 6. I think my RE knew at that point. Then the beta came back and was only 56. So ovviously a very significant drop from 155. It is sad, yes, but I know how unlikely it was to begin with and I'm still amazed that I saw my HCG even hit as high as 155. Guess there is a part of me that is thankful.

So it's time to start over. Not really sure when that will be since I have to wait for at least one AF, which, knowing me and my lack of a lining, will probably take a couple of months.

That's really the only thing I'm probably bitter about. Other than that, I'm honestly just thrilled that something happened this time. Eight days ago I was very discouraged and upset that I never had been given any reason to be hopeful. Well..... now that I actually got pregnant I feel so much more energized. It was almost two years ago that my third round of clomid got me pregnant (with my ectopic), and let me tell you how exciting it was to see a positive pregnancy test again. I really started to fear it would NEVER happen. (It felt so good that I just might have to take one from here on out the night following any future trigger shot!

) I clearly am THRILLED that this wasn't another ectopic, and at this point I just want to stay strong and positive and give it another go. My RE was AMAZING to me over the last week. The fact that he was actually telling the nurses to step aside so he could take my bloodwork and the fact that he picked up his cell phone both times I called him over the weekend.... well I decided I just can't leave that. So if he'll still have me as a patient, I'm gonna stick with him. Maybe this late developing pregnancy was like a divine intervention... like a sign to me that I shouldn't switch doctors.

Well girls, I'm so sorry it wasn't better news. I know you guys were on this crazy roller coaster ride with me. I'll keep you posted as I do hope to try again as soon as they'll let me. Love you guys and thanks for your unwavering support.

CBB · 02-27-2008, 02:09 PM

Hi Kari.

I have been stalking the boards like a maniac today, waiting for your post. I swear I haven't left the house since noon because I wanted to see your news. I am terribly sorry things did not work out this time. I know you've had so many ups and downs this past week. I am relieved it isn't ectopic of course because from what you ladies have described that is a very painful issue. and of course i am encouraged that you got pregnant this time. That is progress. i know it is still disappointing. I wish I could change the results for you. I am always hoping for the best for you because you are the best sunshine on this board when we are all down and need support. I hope at least that rotten AF cooperates so that you can proceed on with your next course of action. My thoughts are with you. I know it won't be too long now before you get that healthy BFP - your doctor seems committed to helping you and I am glad you are energized and already thinking to the future.

douglasap8 · 02-27-2008, 02:10 PM

Kari, I'm so sorry. I want to cry for your or give you a hug...something! I know this has got to be a horrible pain you're feeling and I wish there was something I could do to help. It seems as though you're taking the news as well as could be expected. And I'm at least happy that this BFP, however brief, has given you some renewed hope and energy. You are such a strong women. I think you're right that this BFP has perhaps given you reason to stick it out with your current RE and I'm glad you are okay with that.

I'm honestly so sorry this has happened to you...because I think you're a truely deserving person...you deserve a BFP more than anyone I know. You're a wonderful and supportive person. I hope AF arrives sooner rather than later. I'll be sending you vibes of strength and encouragement. - April

Mapia74 · 02-27-2008, 02:11 PM

Oh my god Kari reading your post had tears in my eyes I felt your emotion.My dear friend I dont know what to say I guess you are right maybe this was a sign to stay with your RE.Really hope AF wont delay you to much so this way you can get started again.Like you said the good thing is it wasent ectopic so we can be grateful.Kari I want you not to lose hope or your faith in the big man.We have to call on him in good times and bad.We must not only think of him when we are hurting.He will give you the courage to carry on and soon will give you that BFP you so much deserve.Love you so much and wish I could give you a hugh hug but sending you many hugs.Take care my dear friend.

Love ya,

Mapia

PrincessSweetNS · 02-27-2008, 02:22 PM

Kari... I am shocked. I am shaking my head in absolute wonder. I wonder at how this has happened, why this has happened..... and also in total admiration for how strongly you are braving this. I just can't believe this.

But you are right, above all, you know that you CAN get pg, and with less than average embies, too. That's important to know, and hold onto that fact. I just wish I could added a '3' in front of that '56'. Or maybe even a '4'.

I am SO sorry you will have to wait on AF. That is unfair.... I knwo there isn't anyhting you can do about it, but really, that is SO unfair. I hate that, on behalf of you. And as someone who is in constant wait for AF, I can sympathize. I just wish SO HARD you didn't have to go through this.

You will get pg again, and you will not have to wait 2 years. Not even close to that long. You so deserve it, and you will get it and very soon. You have my prayers, my thoughts and I'm sending you (((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))) and comforting words to both you and DH.