Hi Everyone, I've been away for a while, just trying not to think too much about ttc. I started my period the other day after a really strange cycle. O late but my LP wasn't the usual 11 days, instead it was 8.
Anyway, when is it time to throw in the towel? We've been ttc for 4 years (I know that's not long compared to some), but feels like forever. We've done 3 IUI's (once in 2006 and 2 in a row few months ago). My body seems like it should be able to conceive easily (I O consistanly on CD18, good CM, DH's sperms are good...) but nada for 4 years. I want to give up ttc but there's that little part of me where I feel like I have to keep trying until I hit menopause. I'm not getting any younger, I turn 35 next Sunday and it's the first time my Bday is really hitting me hard. I have this stigma of turning 35- all the literature saying woman's chance to conceive greatly reduces when she turns 35 (not that it's an over night deal, but that number sticks out at me).
DH and I talked about adoption and we went to a seminar to take the first steps. But, my heart is not totally ready for it yet. Most likely we'd end up with an older child (6 years or older), and I'm sorry call me selfish but I was really hoping for a little baby. Basically things are not looking good in getting an infant in either domestic or overseas.
I know I should be greatful for my DS (5 years old) and I am. He's the love of my life, he's the reason I want more. I love him more and more everyday.
I'm tryingto change my views of my future of living with just one child instead of a house full of kids because I know that's not going to happen. But when I've had these dreams since childhood of having lots of kids and becoming a realization that it's not going to happen is a big adjustment.
I know there is no one answer to my question of when to stop ttc, it's a personal choice, but I have such conflict over it. I want to stop but at the same time don't want to. Does that make sense? argh!! I just want my desire of another baby to go away. I think that'll be the only solution to my inner battle.
Sorry this post is so long, I needed to let this out. Friends have no clue what this feels like, and DH is so analytical and black/white that he would just way "You need to get over it. Mind over matter"