Need Some Advice - Infertility Message Board

sunnytxgal · 04-11-2003, 08:27 AM

I have a neighborhood function this weekend. We live in a small community**so, of course I'm sure by now everone has find out about the invitro. How do ya'll respond nicely to someone who asks about it and you really don't want to discuss it. I am usually an open book and I don't know if I'm not ready or just not willing to discuss it. There are very few people in my family I have told about it. Someetimes I feel people think of you as an experiment, rather than they are really concerned. Please Help!

mommawannabee · 04-11-2003, 08:34 AM

Hi Sunny! This is something that I deal with pretty much daily. I just seem to smile and say everything seems to be going as well as it can, thanks for asking. And then I just stop. This is a very sensitive topic and usually people that I talk to about it pretty much know how sensitive I am to the subject. Of course you get some that don't know squat about the emotions involved in this and I can usually sense that and after talking to me, they pretty much get the idea of just how senstive a subject things are.

Good luck Sunny! You'll know how to handle it if put in that situation.

Minouche · 04-11-2003, 08:36 AM

hi sunnytxgal,

I am not very good at not telling people... even when I don´t want to discuss the subject, I end up talking about it anyway when people ask questions..

I hate that, but I just don´t know how to end the conversation in a polite way.

However, I´ve read once in an infertility book that when people ask questions that you don´t want to discuss, you should reply with another question..

I hope all the other ladies can help you on this matter..

It will be good for me too..

One thing though...when I got pg the first time last year, I was so excited that I told everybody (friends and family)...after I m/c, I had to go over and over talking about it and sometimes having to listen to unsolicited comments/advices/suggestions...so when I got pg the second time, we just told our parents and very close friends...now, when we get pg again, we plan to just tell everybody after the dreaded first 3 months..

we hate having to give explanations and the unwanted (and sometimes hurtful) comments/advices.

------------------
Minouche
PCOSer - diagnosed in Sep. 2001
TTC - 4 years
DH - internet miracle

[This message has been edited by Minouche (edited 04-11-2003).]

sunnytxgal · 04-11-2003, 12:32 PM

Thanks you so much for your responses. I will take your advise. Now all I have to do is listen to most of them talk about their new babies. What agony!

mommawannabee · 04-11-2003, 12:40 PM

OH! that's awful - just nod and smile and know that one day you will get to do the same. You want me to come there and knock some sensitivity in em'?