Newbie with BFN - Infertility Message Board

CapGirl · 07-07-2003, 01:21 PM

Hello,

This is my first post, but I have been reading this board for a while now. I am finally breaking down to post - I need support!

I'm still crying after hearing the results of my beta test after first IUI a couple hours ago...BFN

My story:
I'm 28 (29 in Sept.), DH is 31, TTC 2 years
Unexplained infertility - only test not done is laproscopy - will do that after 3 unsuccessful IUIs (hoping not to get to that point!)
This past cycle - Clomid, Follistim, HCG trigger shot, IUI, progesterone suppositories following IUI

Today was CD 28, and I went for my Beta test with a super-positive outlook. A week ago I thought my body was showing signs that AF would arrive (always get sore BBs), but then the soreness started to go away, my temps went up, and I thought perhaps I was wrong. (Did not get AF either, but now I know that was from prog. suppositories.) So I started to get my hopes up - a lot. I'm so bummed right now.

It is even harder because only 1 of my close friends knows we are TTC (family knows, and one co-worker, but I didn't want to have to keep too many people informed in case things like today happened). The friend that knows got Pg on the first try, lost the baby, then got Pg again on the first try after that. I have another friend TTC right now, and she talks openly to me about it. This month is the first month they tried hard, and she just told me she thinks she has implantation spotting... I am very supportive of her, but it is so hard to hear that. I don't want to tell her what I have been going through because she tends to "talk a lot," and even though she would not mean to say anything, it could slip. I had a hard enough time telling my DH and Mom this time. My family is so supportive and I love them for that, but it is so hard to go through this...

Well, this is long enough... Thanks for being so open and supportive on this board. I wish the best to all of you, and lots of babydust! Usually I am much more upbeat, but today is just really hard for me!

smaula · 07-07-2003, 01:37 PM

welcome aboard, sorry to hear your news.hope you have a big ++++++++++ this month.

CapGirl · 07-07-2003, 02:18 PM

Thanks smaula!

I am actually going to take 2 months off the meds and IUI to do some traveling with DH (I will not be able to get to my RE's office at the right times for monitoring so decided to take a summer break!). Maybe the break will bring us some luck! I'm not going to chart, take O tests or anything - just will relax and have some of the wine I didn't drink this month! I'm starting to feel better - the initial shock of the test result just got to me.

Sarka · 07-08-2003, 01:34 AM

Hi, sorry to hear that... I know excatly how you feel. I had my first IUI done and found out yesterday... well got my AF a day earlier so that was it. I was just staring at it like I've never seen it before. But I'm not too down about it right now. I don't know anybody who was succesfull after the first one... I wasn't on any meds, but now I was given chlomid (50) to take for five days. I really wish to get prego by Xmas as I'm flying back home and my (younger) sister will be there with her newborn baby... Sometimes it takes a bit more than just one try and I'll try keep on going till I can... have a great holiday and enjoy the wine!!! Sounds fab! Take care...

CapGirl · 07-08-2003, 07:41 AM

Sarka, I am sorry to hear AF showed up... I know for both of us it was only the first try - hopefully the 2nd or 3rd time will be a charm! How many times did your RE suggest you try IUI before doing something else (if not successful)? I think mine is 3 tries with Clomid (50, 5 days) and Follistim (1 vial), then possibly do laproscopy to be sure nothing is wrong. I had 2 nice large follies with my med dosage last month. AF is definitely starting today, and DH asked if we should seek out a clinic in CA (where we are gonig) for day 3 monitoring, but I told him it was easier to take 2 months off and resume once we are done our trips! He does want me to use the O kit though, so we can at least time things better!

Best of luck to you - I hope you get the X-mas present you are wishing for...before X-mas!!