autumnleaves

You are considering donating? That is wonderful! I probably am in need of donor eggs but cannot afford them. My RE advised going the donor egg route and I was ecstatic to see that my insurance covered this process...all except for non-medical costs. We happily went to the RE's office to tell him we would go ahead with the donor egg (I'll tell you my emotional side of this in a moment) and he outlined the non-medical costs for us. Approximately $5,000 that is paid to the donor for her eggs...approximately $5,000 to the agency that sets you up with a donor. Minimum non-medical costs are $10,000. We don't have that kind of money so we came crashing back down to earth.

Now, the emotional side of it (from the receiving end, if you will) was tough for me. I had to deal with my own emotions ranging from "getting old" to "not being much of a woman" anymore to the child being my husband's and someone elses. Then I got over it when I realized that if somebody handed me a baby right now that I would take it and love it to pieces. And it wouldn't be my husband's or mine! Plus having that child growing inside of me (and not the donor mom) would make it seem about 99.9999999% my baby, not hers. So you see, after all the mind games I played with myself, I was ready to go. but financially it couldn't happen.

So, for those women who need help getting pregnant, I know they are greatly appreciative of women like you.

As far as how YOU feel about it and the emotional ramifications, I can only guess. I've tried putting myself in the donor's shoes when I was trying to decide about this myself and at first thought it would be difficult for me. (My SIL also needs a donor egg to get pregnant.) Then I realized that as long as I didn't know the person who received the egg, I'd be quite all right with it. I am not sure if I could handle seeing a neice or nephew that I knew was really part of me though...am I making any kind of sense here?

Hope I didn't offend anyone...