Adoptioin? - Infertility Message Board

tennisgal · 09-11-2003, 07:24 AM

Is anyone going through the adoption process or thought about adopting? How did you get to that point? It's just so hard to make that decision for me. We have been going through treatments for over 2 years (with 2 m/c) and I'm at the end of my rope ... it's either IVF (and we could only afford to do it once after all we have spent) or start the adoption process. Any advise or words of wisdom would be helpful.

Thanks. This board is great to go to because everyone understands what you are going through!

beccalee · 09-11-2003, 09:02 AM

Hey Tennisgal, we are in the last week of our 2ww for our last fertility treatment. I am reading a wonderful book right now called Adoption After Infertility. It is somewhat dated- published in 1991 I think but very effective. The authors both experienced infertility and then grew their families through adoption. This book has raised some wonderful points of discussion for me and my DH. We have decided to pursue adoption after this treatment if we are not pregnant. I have been researching adoption for some time now and know that unless we get pregnant with triplets we will definitely adopt one day. For me and my DH it came down to the time when we are so ready to be parents even though the route to having a child may not be what we had invisioned. More than anything we want the priveledge of being able to parent. I hope this information helps. I would love to talk more with you.

Becca

Minouche · 09-11-2003, 09:21 AM

Hello tennisgal and becca,

I also feel like I am in the end of my rope after 5 years of ttc and 2m/c...DH and I deceided that if I don´t get pregnant this year, we will start the adoption process in jan/2004. We are Brazilians and we will try to adopt a brazilian baby. I have researched a little about the adoption process, but I still need to get more information, choose an adoption agency, etc.

Minouche

Ontario Girl · 09-11-2003, 12:31 PM

Hi all, my DH and I have discussed adoption at length, met with my family doctor who suffered infertility and is now an adoptive mother, really helpful...it's such a hard point to have to get to because in turning to adoption we'd be essentially accepting that the door to pregnancy is closed and we're not there yet. If that time comes we'll embrace adoption it as our opportunity to have children. Like you said, beccalee, that just may be our route to parenthood too.

Good luck tennisgal.

Erin

BarbaraH · 09-11-2003, 12:48 PM

HI, everyone,

I'll share with you parts of a poem I read long ago as we were discussing the possibility of adopting - we did get pg, so did not adopt. I wish I had kept this poem because I thought it wonderful (and maybe it is here somewhere, but we've moved twice and I cannot find it). I have no idea who wrote it, but this is what I remember:

"Not flesh of my flesh
or bone of my bone,
but still uniquely my very own.
..... you grew not under my heart, but in it."

Bless each of you - Barbara