Took us 3 1/2 years to conceive our twins eventually through our 2nd fresh IVF cycle. DH tells me today he'd like to try for 1 more. Has anyone been in this situation? Should I just go straight to RE since I am 35 and begin another round of treatment or should we try ourselves? What are the real chances that we'd conceive naturally? I don't want to waste time and set myself up for disappointment. Not to mention the fact that BD gets stressful for us month after month with no results and no spontaneity I'd be interested in hearing advice and opinions. Thanks!
Well, when we were trying for baby #2, we did decided to try naturally for about 6 months with acupuncture and herbal supplements for both of us (since it was basically male factor and my irregular periods). I was 31 at the time and niavely thought that since we had gotten pregnant before (through IVF) that maybe it would happen for us this time without help. Ironically, it took us longer to get pregnant the 2nd time and it was more heartbreaking as well. I guess because I had been through it before and was successful, I thought it would happen right away when we did go back into IVF. It was devastating and frustrating.
My advice for you since you are 35 already is to go right to your RE and try IVF again. I'm assuming you don't have any frozen? That of course, would be the way to go first if you do. But, remember this time, you have your little ones that you have to work around too...are they in daycare? Will you be carting them with you? Expect mixed expressions from fellow couples in the waiting room if you bring them with you. When I had my daughter in tow at times through monitoring, some gave frustrated looks especially when she acted up and others were smiling from ear to ear, basking in her joy. Remember too that some clinics frown on you bringing your children for the sensitivity of other clients.
Working around shots, your hormone levels and exhaustion (and needed rest) is also difficult when you have children to care for. If this seems all too overwhelming to you, then maybe trying naturally is the way to go...it's all things to keep in mind. I am now pregnant with twins and wouldn't trade my experience through trying or this pregnancy (which I know you can relate to but is quite harder with a toddler) for what I know will come in the future...my complete family. My children are true miracles (as I'm sure you feel about your own as well) and knowing what I went through to have them makes me so proud and grateful. I will follow your journey and look forward to seeing your posts. Good luck in deciding your next move.
To answer your questions.....no we do not have any frozen. We had 1 frozen but donated it since my RE told us the chances of 1 embie surviving the thaw and transfer and actually implanting and becoming a viable pregnancy was pretty slim. And we couldn't afford to keep paying the storage fee. No I won't be taking the kids with me to the doctor. They stay home with me and I don't work right now. My DH can watch them in the morning for early b/w appts and my mom can watch them for more involved appts. I always thought it would make other patients sad to see babies while they are trying so hard and I wouldn't want to make them feel worse. (please don't take that as a rude comment towards you for taking your daughter in, I realize not everyone has babysitters at their disposal and I know you have to do what you have to do when doing IVF!)
I guess I just feel like the natural miracle won't work for us so why postpone seeing the RE?
Here is another question......will the RE expect me to have tried for a time before coming in? I don't want to make an appt for a consultation and him say "have you tried yourself?" and I say no and he says go home and try for 6 months then call me back. That would frustrate me. Or do they just assume you'll call them up when you are ready again? I figured since I am not working right now it might be the best time to go see the RE and sort this out even if we don't get started on a treatment cycle for a few months.
And lastly I have to consider multiples. It was fine the first time because I didn't know any better but after having lived it, I don't think I want to do twins again.....I am getting too old for that
Well, I think your RE (if you're going back to the same one) will guess that you probably haven't tried on your own and depending on your issues, will not have expected you to. I went to a different RE the 2nd time around and after reviewing our information, he totally understood why we were there and never even contemplated us trying on our own which we had anyway.
As far as bringing them with you, I felt the same as you and often didn't have the option of not bringing her...but after talking to the nurses and seeing the reactions to some, I think it was an inspiration to many. However, there was one time that I saw a women coming in several times with 4 (wild) kids and that actually bothered me even!! I guess alot of people have their own preconceptions...and it's hard not to judge, so I know I may have made others uncomfortable.
I was curious how old your twins are? And, perhaps if you don't want any more multiples, maybe put only one in at a time. Although, I know that may decrease your chances. I guess it's a LOT to think about.
Our IF is unexplained. It is so frustrating when everything checks out OK and yet you still can't conceive a baby on your own So that was why I thought I should try on my own in case a miracle occurs. But I am impatient so I think a month or two would be all I would try.
My twins are almost 16 months old. it was very hard for us when they were infants because they were born premature and wore heart monitors for 3 months. We never had a normal baby experience which is why I was hoping for 1 this time. Our first IVF we transferred 3 embies and none took. The second IVF we transferred 3 embies and 2 took. So I would be afraid not to transfer at least 3 this time around, especially since by then I'll be 36. And to be honest I had horrible ER experiences where both times I awoke from sedation in the middle of the procedure screaming in pain, so if I have to go through that one more time I want it to have the best chances of success. I would take twins over no baby at all of course!
What is your opinion on this....I did my IUI's with another RE and I was wondering if the new RE that did my IVF's would try IUI first? I sometimes felt that my first RE was a bozo because his office wasn't open on weekends (!) so I thought that the timing of his IUI's was off. I didn't know any better at the time but after changing doctors I often wondered if the first RE screwed up my IUI cycles because it might not have been convenient for him to do an IUI on a saturday. Would it be worth it to try IUI with the new RE? I did 5 with injectables with the first RE.
Ever since having the twins my cycles have been between 28 and 32 days long so that is another challenge. Before that they were 28 days all the time. According to the online ovulation predictors my "lucky" time could be anywhere from today through august 9th so I figure I might as well try. What do I have to lose?
Well, I agree that the trying on your own couldn't hurt. So, you might as well.
As far as the IUIs, I'm not sure I would go that route since they are much less successful than IVF and because of your age but perhaps 1 or 2 cycles would be okay. It could still give you success and it is WAY less involved as I'm sure you're aware.
I was curious how early your twins came...that is my biggest concern right now. I am 31 weeks and been having contractions on and off and I am really anxious about them being in the NICU or being too premature.
Also be careful about IUI...you can end up with even more than twins! Do you think you would be selective if you did get pregnant with triplets or more? I actually had 3 implant this past cycle because we put 3 in but one never developed. We were shocked to even get twins because in total, we've put in 14 embryos, (2 at a time for 4 cycles and 3 at a time in the past 2) and we've had 2 BFNs (including one time with all 3) and 2 chemical pregnancies, 1 healthy baby and now 1 twin pregnnacy.
I guess it would just be nice for IUI to work so I could take the easy way out for a change
I met someone today at an indoor play place that has twins. She was like oh yeah we had to take clomid twice to get them, as if that was something major and I was like oh well you were lucky because I did a year of injectables, 5 IUI's and then 2 IVF's. she was shocked. I just wish clomid would have worked for us too of course!
My twins were born 6 weeks early. It was because I had pre-eclampsia. They were in the NICU for 2 weeks, had CPAP, ventilators, phototherapy, feeding tubes down their noses, multiple IV lines, and lots of bloodwork. It was so sad. I went to the hospital twice a day for feedings and to be with them. They were 4lbs 11ozs and 5lbs. They had to come home with heart monitors for 3 months also and that was very hard. It is a real big challenge to put them in cribs or strollers or cars with all these wires hanging out of their clothes. Even bath time was hard. I wish I could have keep them inside longer but it was a dangerous situation. luckily i had the surfactant shots ahead of time to help their lungs. If I hadn't had high blood pressure I am betting I could have made it to 36 weeks. I hope you can go close to full term so you avoid all the craziness. Looking back now I wish I had left work and rested more. But I worked up until the day I had them. Probably not a good idea.
I would not do selective reduction. Prior to having the twins I would have said yes and I actually did say that when I did IUI with 4 good follicles. But now I can't go through with it, not knowing how precious these little buggers are. If one was severely deformed and wouldn't make it anyway I could rationalize it, I wouldn't want a baby to suffer unnecessarily. But otherwise I will take what I can get, even if it is multiples again.
I sure do wish we had a bunch of frozen embies. But that's not the case. So starting from scratch it will be unless the RE has another idea.
How are you feeling other than the contractions? Is your blood pressure ok? Are you going in for monitoring regularly? I had to do the 24-hour urine test 4 times. yuck. what a drag. Do you know what you are having? Do you have names picked out? This is so exciting for you!
Well, I'm not sure I am supposed to discuss it here but my pressure's been okay. Also, because of major stress, I left work very early at around 20 weeks. I was teaching. So, now I am off for the summer (thank God!!) and I already took off the first semester of the following school year! My OB actually has instructed me to "be in bed as much as possible" too, so I am trying to take it easy and getting help from my m-i-l with housework and my toddler which is HUGE!! My goal was to get to 35 weeks, but maybe I should shoot for 36 or even more!! I am really surprised your twins had all those issues even at 34 weeks! That's scary! I am glad for you that they are healthy now and keeping you busy!!
I haven't done the urine test at all. I'm having a boy and a girl...Logan Robert and Mia Angela. I can't wait!! Or, maybe I can...just a little while anyway.
OK so I am going to see my RE on 8/18 for a consultation regarding us trying again. I have questions of course and am worried about my age being a factor. Ladies I will surely need your support and advice if I ride this roller coaster again. Please stay tuned.
Just thought I'd shre. I have a 16 month old conceived through IVF. It was a no brainer for us to go back. I made an appointment and my RE took us right away and put us directly into the next IVF cycle. I had retreival yesterday. Only 1 fertilized though. I expected to have as much success as last time and that isn't really happening. It is just as emotional as the first time. and this time I may not makeit to transfer. I thought this time would be easier. I don't think you were looking for allthat. Sorry. But I would go straight to the RE and go from there. She did not expect us to have tried at all. She didn't even ask.
Hi TammyJean! I remember you from the boards I think. Our children are the same age!
I saw the RE on Tuesday. We are going straight to IVF as you expected I am doing the pre-testing over the next few weeks. I am going on vacation in September so as soon as we get back and AF comes we jump right in. No BCP. I am doing the antagonist approach this time because of my age and because I am a low responder (1st IVF = 9 eggs, 2nd IVF = 7 eggs) Also using Menopur for the first time. Did you use a different protocol this time? My RE asked me how long we were trying and I laughed and said my twins are 16 months old and we never used any birth control since they were born so that seems long enough don't you think?
I am sorry your cycle didn't go better for you. I really hope your 1 embie makes it to transfer and is your next precious bundle. I am trying to not get my hopes up for myself but I know once I start stimming I'll be sucked right back in to the frenzy. My first IVF didn't work and I was devastated. I am just hoping for one more baby to complete our family so I can say goodbye to treatments forever.
Please let me know how everything goes. Best of luck to you!