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Old 05-19-2010, 03:13 PM   #1
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TTC IUI after 40, waiting for period to come...?

hi, I'm new out here...i've stayed away on purpose because I didn't want to get obsessed with my TTC. I think i'm now at a point where I need to reach out to others like me who are going through and enduring what we are going through.

My DH and I have been TTC for 2 1/2 years now. I am 40, he is 30. we've been through all the poking and prodding and tests. I am fine, and so is he, he's an over achiever even. So I feel like I'm the broken one.

Anyway, being the age of 40 we decided we needed to step things up. So we've been doing IUI since February of 2010.

IUI#1 on oral medication (forgot the name of it but it's not clomid) BFN

IUI#2 same oral medicaion 2 follies BFN

IUI #3 Extremely painful OMG painful, follistim, 2 follies, BFN

Dr. found a fibroid and we had to get it checked out to see if it was creating complications for me, if it needed to come out or what. Test was OMG awefully painful and turned out fibroid doesn't need to come out, my lining is wonderful and all looks great.

Wonderful

Now I'm waiting for AF to show up and I'm confused. I am usually spot on with day 24... and today is day 31. No period. No remote signs of it. I took a test this morning and it was very clearly negative. If it would have been positive, it would have been a miracle, b/c we did not do an IUI this month...i didn't keep track of ovulation or ANYTHING. i couldn't tell you if or when I ovulated and when we had sex. ...so I COULD be preg I suppose, but after NEVER EVER Having had a positive, EVER i wouldn't know what to do. So I always expect a BFN. So even though she hasn't shown up yet, i'm expecting her.

anyway, sorry for the ramble. Looking for some 40 year old buddies who can share that loud TICK TOCK noise...and some good oldd fashioned love and support.
Barb G

Thoughts? Has anyone experienced this?

 
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Old 05-19-2010, 03:32 PM   #2
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Re: TTC IUI after 40, waiting for period to come...?

Hi
I am a soon to be 42 year old and married to a man 7 years younger who is above adverage in all his test! I was lucky to have a DD 2 years ago but since then have struggled with 3 miscarriages in 1 year. 2 of which were 2 months apart.
My RE tested my antibodies and discovered I have an issue rejecting the fetus so I may not be a canidate for IVF. But if you have had 3 BFN had you thought about IVF? It is the most direct way of getting the egg and the sperm to meet.
Can I ask you what your FSH level is? You may feel uncomfortable but that could be an important number. Mine goes up and down every month. We have tried and were successful when we only did IUI and fertility drugs when my FSH level was below 7.9.
Another thing, I am starting acupuncture. They say this helps with fertility.
All of us are in the same struggle and look to these boards for support and a place to yell out our fustrations. OUr DH's are great but sometimes it helps to talk to other women for emotional support.
Good luck and I hope you get the BFP soon!
Amy

 
Old 05-20-2010, 06:59 AM   #3
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Re: TTC IUI after 40, waiting for period to come...?

Hi Amy! I'm excited you are the first one out here that I am able to connect with. Seems like we have a lot in common, eh? we are in our 40's, younger men...etc. I have to first start out by saying I'm an open book. I am not easily offended, but will not 'play' or poke out here politically like I've seen many do in the past, you know?

So yah, here's a little more info. in 2005 me and my ex-dh, did IUI with sperm donor. he had a vasectomy, so we knew he was shooting blanks. We did 3 or 4 (I can't remember) IUI's in Minneapolis back then, and none of them took. I had all the tests done back then, the hystololopingagram, countless blood tests, that FSH (although I don't remember what the number was then...) and all was well. I know three isn't all that many.... and back then I tried Clomid..but it made my lining way too thin. The other two times they did not put me on any medication, I produced my follies on my own, we did the HSG shot to trigger and then did the incem, sometimes back to back. well, anyway, they didn't work, and now I'm thankful, because as I said, he was my ex-dh. It was not meant to be.

So now... I have to wonder, my DH and I have been TTC this long on our own, and now are getting some more help. I feel so broken. I just don't get what the heck is up. and honestly, I'm tired of people telling me to stop trying so hard. back with my ex-i can honestly say that I tried with all of my might, i thought about it constantly....and had horrible breakdowns when I got my period. Now, today I'm much more at peace with myself and in my faith....and I'm not stressed out too much I don't think. When I see pregnant women or teens...it is starting to slowly bug me...but I try not to let it, but deep down inside it does...but i wouldn't admit it to my friends...b/c I have to be "strong" ...otherwise i hear the same old...'just don't try so hard. relax and it'll happen'. I dunno, i am really honestly to the point where I don't want to talk to anyone about it unless they've been through it or are going through it you know?

sorry I'm rambling.

You are so blessed to have a DH!! you had her when you were 40, like me then! Did you have complications at all? ..well other than the miscarriages...not saying those aren't complications. I'm so very sorry to hear.... I've never had one, but could totally understand how DEVASTATING it would be, especially when ttc. My heart goes out to you.

Yes, we have thought about IVF....and it has been suggested to think about it by my dr. however, we just don't have the money... we're looking at over $30,000, none of which is returnable, because I'm too old to be part of those programs that have, 3 trys and if you don't get preg, you get your $ back. I don't get any back. And to be honest.... at being 40...i don't know if I want to sell the farm and our lives to try. Sometimes I just think God didn't mean for me to get pregnant, or that we are supposed to Adopt, or that he has some other plan for us. I just don't know. I always wanted to be a mommie, and ever since I was a little girl, I dreamt of having my own children some day. its never not been a dream of mine. I want to be realistic too you know? So I struggle.

I've had my FSH tested twice here recently (since Feb) and I forget what the number was, but it was at a good number. (I think the lower the better right? I think it was 7 something? I have to ask!!!!) either way the dr wasn't concerned about it...so that was good.

I have heard acupuncture is supposed to help as well. I tried it once for a foot issue I had, and it ended up causing more harm than good.... so I'm a little skiddish, but could look into it again. i've also heard that MACCA (sp?) is supposed to be a good natural herb. Before I start taking it I'm going to talk to my dr, so that it doesn't interfear with any meds she might put me on....for the next cycle.

today is day 31 for me. Still no AF. pg test yesterday was negative. Think I should try another one? i don't want to get my hopes up. ..i'm thinking the hormones have messed with me, even though i was regular like clockwork. Thoughts???

Wishing you and all the others BFP as well!!!!!!!! thanks for listening and being there.
Barb
__________________
Barb G.

Me: 40
DH: 30
waiting to start IUI #4
never had BFP
hypothyroidism 137mcg
**********************************

BFP 7 weeks and 1 day:bounci ng:

 
Old 05-20-2010, 03:40 PM   #4
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amynyc HB User
Re: TTC IUI after 40, waiting for period to come...?

WOW Barb, I wish we lived close and could step out for a cup of coffee!
I married my first and only DH late in life. At 38. We also bought a furniture store in 2006 right before the big drop in the economy! UGG! I waited as long as I could and then said I have to try NOW! So on the first try I was successful and carried to term a healthy baby girl at the age of 40. With this amazing success and the economy still bad my DH and I decided to wait 1 year to try again. I thought I was a mircle so waiting 1 year was ok. Well I was delusional.. I am now 1 year into this and 3 miscarriages later! Doc is treating me for antibodies my body has development that may attack the fetus. It may also be egg quality but I can get pregnant I just lose it after the 8th week.. I was hoping to do IVF and donor egg but why bother if my body keeps attacking I will lose the $30,000!

It sounds like you may also be looking into adoption. I wish I had tons of money so that i could get a surrogate to carry for me but that is a dream. We are starting the paper work for adopt. I have my reservation about it b/c I already have a DD conceived naturally so I am afraid I may not love an adopted baby as I love my DD. I am in therapy to start to deal with these emotions.
GOSH! I feel so open to chat with you and tell you my deep thoughts, I hope you don't mind but it is hard to find women who can actually relate!
Amy

Last edited by amynyc; 05-20-2010 at 03:41 PM.

 
Old 05-21-2010, 06:47 AM   #5
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Re: TTC IUI after 40, waiting for period to come...?

Good morning Amy,

Thanks for being so open with me. I wear my heart on my sleeve, andyou know if I'm out here seeking support and stuff, I have to be honest with myself and with others you know? Sounds like we have the perfect start to a wonderful friendship. I charish you already!

ah...married late in life. Sometimes a blessing and sometimes a curse, huh? I hope that your DH is a wonderful man and makes you blissfully happy and was worth the wait! I wish looking back, that I had waited, but you know I believe that if God puts you there, He'll lead you through it. He lead both of us...

Man, so you're sorta in the same boat financially as we are!? Buying a store before the economy took a dive... we bought a house just before then too... it's already dropped in value, not that it was hugely expensive anyway! We are just middle class people living in Minnesota, trying to live right, and have a baby. You know? Nothing more nothing less. I'm so happy for you that you have a darling daughter. She's 2 now right? aweeeeeeeeeeeeee. She must be the light of your life! My ex-stepdaughter is married now and just had baby #2. ..while it's hard... I love those children like they were my own flesh and blood. Kaitlyn is 2yr and Colin is 4months. Thankfully I am still "Gramma" and I see the kids as often as I want, and my DH is all for it and loves them too. (i will have both kids in fact this weekend).

anyway I digress...

It's so hard to know what to do sometimes isn't it? I can totally understand how you feel in your deepest heart about adoption. Whether we want to admit that or not, you know? that feeling is there and it's very real. I think that if you want another baby, and you can afford the adoption....I think you should go for it. I think that once you have that baby in your arms you will love it and protect it like your own... and I'm sure your therapy will help. I do applaud you for recognizing this potential issue and working through things before taking that step. GOOD ON YOU!!!!!!!!!!

It must be heartbreaking to know that your body is rejecting your eggs at week 8. Do they know why it is doing that now, especially after you've had a successful preg with your daughter two years ago? our bodies are so strange sometimes aren't they? (hugs) I will pray that you make the decision that is best for you and your family. i'm sure you will. Meanwhile, will you still continue to try and get pregnant? If you are, I will support you all the way!

i'm glad you feel open to chat with me. you are as well. ...I guess this is the minnesota nice in me? where are you from?

So...today is day 32 for me...and still no period. This is so strange. the longest I've ever gone was day 29. Although this is the first time in my life I've been so jacked up on hormones I can't help but think it's messed with my cycle and has made me really late. Has this ever happened to you?

HUGS and TGIF!
__________________
Barb G.

Me: 40
DH: 30
waiting to start IUI #4
never had BFP
hypothyroidism 137mcg
**********************************

BFP 7 weeks and 1 day:bounci ng:

 
Old 05-21-2010, 07:40 PM   #6
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Re: TTC IUI after 40, waiting for period to come...?

Hi Barb
I pray everyday for a clear answer to my fertility issues. I too wish I knew what my "plan" is. Is it 1 child, 2 children, adoption? I struggle with these issues but know what my limitations are both mentally and financially. I do not want to chase a dream of having another while scarificing today and what/who I can love additionally. My therapist told me "you can alway be a mother to someone." She is right I could be a mother to another child if that means I need to adopt.
But for today I live in less hope of conceiving naturally. Today I am trying naturally but tracking my ovulation. 2 days after I ovulate I need to start giving myself 3 shots a day of progestrine and heprin. Take 1 asprin and a mild steroid. All of these are suppose to block the negative antibodies from attacking the fetus. According to the clear blue easy test monitor I have entered into the High Fertility range which indicated a rise in estrogen and may ovulate in a day or 2. OR not. It is possible to reach this stage and not ovulate so I will continue to pee on a stick until day 16 then I stop.
If I don't get pregnant then in June I start a menapur shots with IUI or natural bedding. The RE is not sure yet if I should spend the money on IVF or IVF with donor since we cannot rule out these antibodies as an issue.
I just read that Kelly Prestin is pregnant at 47! You know that was not with her egg!

BTW take another HPT! Last pregnancy mine was negative on day 29 and positive on day 31!
Hugs and TGIF!
It is so good talking to you
Amy

 
Old 05-24-2010, 02:43 PM   #7
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Re: TTC IUI after 40, waiting for period to come...?

Hi Amy!

It's so refreshing and nice to hear that you pray too!Sometimes that's all we have you know? ray:

I so know what you mean about the finances too on everything. I just wish it wasn't so dang expensive!

My Goodness girl, you have to go through a lot. Are you hanging in there? Are you strong, or is it sucking the life out of you? Sometimes I'm good... but somedays I just break down.... somedays I'm strong and feel like I could try forever and some days I feel like the weakest person ever to walk the earth. Just wonderin' how you're handing everything? Do you have good health insurance?

whaaaaaaa? Kelly preston is preg? John Travolta's wife? wow. for sure, not her eggie. Wow. 47. good for her. I'll bet she's still so sad after the death of her son. I cannot fathom. Can't do it.

I took another Preg test on Sun. It was very negative. Guess who showed up at my front door with a vengeance this morning? OH YAH, she's here!!! i'm glad it came on her own, I wasn't too thrilled with going to have it be forced upon me...if it didn't show up soon enough here.

ug. Mondays'.

So, where are you at in your cycle? What's your plan?

I have to call my RE now, tell her I got AF...and make a plan from htere. Find out how much my meds are going to cost me and what she's going to put me on. not really looking forward to it. I dunno about you but my IUI's are excruciatingly painful! I'm going to be taking something for it this next time that's for darn sure.

hope you are well my new friend,
BG
__________________
Barb G.

Me: 40
DH: 30
waiting to start IUI #4
never had BFP
hypothyroidism 137mcg
**********************************

BFP 7 weeks and 1 day:bounci ng:

 
Old 05-27-2010, 02:25 PM   #8
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amynyc HB User
Re: TTC IUI after 40, waiting for period to come...?

Did you get AF??? I have been thinking about you.

I was extremely jealous this week and found it hard to write my feeling. My DD goes to a wonderful daycare and one of the boy's mother 43 just gave birth to a healthy baby boy on Tuesday. I am jealuos b/c she was not trying to get pregnant, never had an amnino and carried to term... Here I am struggling and I see this. Gives me hope and saddness I am still struggling.. I called my best friend who slapped me in the face with reality. She said you are jealous of her and many people are jealous of YOU! It brought me back to reality... But I am still struggling!
My RE said there is no explaination as to why my body is producing these antibodies and the only way to treat it is by what I am doing. It makes IVF a risk b/c if it is 2 issues the egg and the antibodies my success rate is low!
I keep praying to g-d to guide me in this journey. I still do not have a clear answer..
What about you??? I wish money was not an issue but it is. The last adoption agency I spoke to said this is a good time to adopt b/c most people use to take loans out of their houses to afford this and now with the economy not so much!
Hope to hear from you soon
Hugs
AMy

 
Old 05-28-2010, 07:03 AM   #9
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Re: TTC IUI after 40, waiting for period to come...?

Hi amy

HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS to you. I so know how you feel honey! I'm sorry you are struggling and going through a hard time! It seems no matter where I turn, there is someone pregnant or just having a baby. I'm surrounded by it. That's the downside of having so many friends and aquaintences I guess. I wish I had the magic words to say to you to make you feel better. I know how you feel, and that's about all I can say, in hopes that it helps you. From the sounds of it, you are someone that prays to God. Sometimes this is truely my only comfort you know? I know that God has His plan....and sometimes it is not for us to know. We have to trust in Him, and know that our lives play out according to His will, and not our own. It is so hard to remember that. we have to surround our thoughts with being thankful for the things we do have: you have a DD, a wonderful hubby.... a job, your health... I could go on and on. So many right now, in this LOVELY economy have no jobs....and are so struggling financially just to put food on the table. You know? we have to remember to be thankful for what we have to to let God worry about the rest. Sometimes we have to just try to be silent to "listen" for what He might have to say.

I don't know if any of this helps....I only thought to try and pass it along because it is what helps me. It is what keeps me going and keeps me strong, you know?

I did get my period on Monday this week. I am a 24 day cycle...and I finally got my period on day 36. never in my life have i ever gone that long, but my dr. said i was so jacked up on hormeones it wasnt surprising. She came with a vengance and was horrible. I stayed home sick and drugged up on pain pills on Tuesday it was so horrible.

I talked to the dr. We figured out which meds we are going to try for the next cycle...and my copay is 20% of the meds..which ONLY makes it $500 for meds this next try. We have to save $$ in order to do this, so this next round we will not be doing anything. I'm going to look for this natural herb called MACCA and give it a try. It's supposed to help with fertility.

Have you been doing your acupunture? how is that going?

So, what are your plans? Are you going to be doing anythign this cycle or take a rest like us? Have you filed the adoption papers yet, or not yet?

Hugs Amy. Everything is going to be OKay.

Hope to hear from you soon,
Barb
__________________
Barb G.

Me: 40
DH: 30
waiting to start IUI #4
never had BFP
hypothyroidism 137mcg
**********************************

BFP 7 weeks and 1 day:bounci ng:

 
Old 05-28-2010, 02:00 PM   #10
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Re: TTC IUI after 40, waiting for period to come...?

Dear Barb
I am so happy your insurance will cover the meds! Yeah.. Better now before we get universal health care! I have a friend on these blogs who told me that in england they denied her the fertility drugs b/c of her age of 40 but her DH protest for 1 year and was able to get it reversed! (my political view)

I am waiting for AF to come. I tried naturally this month. I had an estrogen surge but no LH. either it was so quick or never at all.. I planned a weekend get away 3 months ago based on my fertiltiy schedule then I got pregnant and lost it but it threw off my plans. So if I get AF on Sat June 5 or 6 I am ok to start Menupur and IUI but if I get it earlier and i am away then I can not get blood work and I would have to wait until July. Part of me is scared b/c this could be my last try with fertiltiy meds. My RE is not sure high tech IVF would work for me b/c I can get pregnant but keep losing it due to anitbodies issue. If Heprin and Steriods can't control it then the IVF would be a hug waste of money! SO part of me does not want to try b/c of the fear that it is my last!

I am doing acupuncture and I think it works! I am trying everything!
As for adoption, I am working on the process. I have a few more lawyers to call but I am still working on my issues of the idea of adoption. My fear is that I am not going to love them the same as I love my naturally born DD! My mom told me that she does not love my sister and I the same and that you love each child differently! It all makes sense but I am afraid...

I pray everyday for the the guidence of G-d! It is all that I could do.. I believe the answers will come and I am waiting! :0)

I so wish we lived closer but I am sure g-d brought us together to help each other emotionally throught this process.
HUGS
Amy

 
Old 06-07-2010, 07:38 PM   #11
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amynyc HB User
Re: TTC IUI after 40, waiting for period to come...?

Hey my friend where are you??? I miss chatting with you!

 
Old 06-08-2010, 08:19 AM   #12
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Re: TTC IUI after 40, waiting for period to come...?

hey you. sorry i fell of for a bit!!!

How are you doing? are you hanging in there?

We are on a 'break'. Have to save up monies for the 20% of the fertility drugs that the insurance does not cover ($500). Meanwhile, there is something with my foot i have to take a look at...and I'm hoping that isn't going to be costly. I did go to the natural herb store yesterday and bought some "Maca"... it's supposed to help with fertility and some people SWEAR by it. A lot of people have been asking me if we have ever thought about adoption and I've said yes.... but I know that is expensive too and I don't even know where to star. Maybe we should start looking....i don't even know where to begin.

I know you worry about loving a child that you did not birth, but I know you would love that child just as much as your own!!!!! Just keep praying about it and pray that God will speak to your heart. Until then...don't do anything, but concentrate in prayer, you know?

How is everything else???
__________________
Barb G.

Me: 40
DH: 30
waiting to start IUI #4
never had BFP
hypothyroidism 137mcg
**********************************

BFP 7 weeks and 1 day:bounci ng:

 
Old 06-08-2010, 10:08 AM   #13
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amynyc HB User
Re: TTC IUI after 40, waiting for period to come...?

It is so good to hear from you..

I tracked my ovulation last month and unfortunetely I did not ovulate. Which is ok since it was my first full cycle after my last mc! We did a ton more blood tests and all came back negative EXCEPT my folic acid has a 50% genic mutation that causes miscarriages. I am born with this genic mutation.. I need to take larger amounts of folic acid and I am going to see a nutrietist to change my diet. Odd since I did get pregnant and carry to term 2 years ago but this seems to be the next issue to conquer.. I am seeing the RE on Thursday to understand more of this issue. I am sitting this cycle out since I need 1-2 months of increase folic acid to give the next one a fighting chance..
I think g-d is pointing to adoption every day. I am praying and hoping! As for the expense there is so many ways to adopt and not cost tons of money. Our good friends fostered to adopt 2 beautiful infant boys jacob is 2 and tanner now is 1. That is the most inexpensive way but depending on the situation the children may go back to the birth mom. My friends took in low risk infants and it all ended well. High risk means the birth mom may change her mind. Then there private adoption and that varies too depending on how selective you want to be.. Foreigen adoptions are an option and less expensive. The best thing to do is look on the internet and research agencies in your area.
Hope you're having a good week
XOXO
Amy

 
Old 06-09-2010, 03:54 PM   #14
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Re: TTC IUI after 40, waiting for period to come...?

Hello:

I also am in my 40s (43 years), my DH is 43 also, has excellent sperm factor, my problem is one missing tube and one scarred tube, so it's the tubal factor.

We went thru one IVF cycle that went pretty well, I was able to produce two beautiful and high rated embryos that were fertilised and put back in and day 2, unfortunately they didn't implant. We were so devastated b/c we were so sure it would work. We don't have any children, but are hoping to try IVF one more try. I have had all my blood workups and everything has come back negative, we meet with our RE again in July and hope to start another cycle in August.

Glad to see others in their 40s that are going thru the same as me. Sometimes I feel so alone like there is no one I can talk to. Most people my age don't understand b/c they already have children or are on to other things in their lives. (sigh)
Nice to chat with others that understand though.

Thanks for listening

 
Old 06-09-2010, 04:15 PM   #15
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amynyc HB User
Re: TTC IUI after 40, waiting for period to come...?

Welcome my friend..
Yes I think we are few on this board but suffer from the same issues as the younger ones so infertility has no age factor!
I am so sorry your first try with IVF did not work.. BUT it is a good sign that your RE wants to try again. Did you do any genic testing on your eggs before you transferred them back? Also is your RE giving you any progestrone to take after implantation??
Also I was not a complete believer but after I hurt my back I used an acupuncturist and it worked. So now I am going for infertility.. Sounds silly but Celine Dion said she used it with her last IVF and now she is pregnant with twins...
I look around at all these younger moms with 2,3,4 kids and I am jealous that they had no issues while I have this huge battle ahead.. BUT I would not give up any part of my life so the trade off is this struggle but with an awesome DH! If I was in this battle with any of the other men I dated, none would have been as supportive as my DH..
Women everyday are getting pregnant at our age it just takes alot more work and money! Have you thought about donor egg?? I am still waiting to see if I can use a donor egg since my problem is keeping it not getting pregnant! I would be devastated if I spent $30,000 for eggs and it did not work..
You will find a huge support network on these boards and welcome..
Baby dust to all!
Amy

 
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