I'd welcome some honest feedback from some of you - my fellow "infertility" club members =). Here's my dilemma. My wife(36)and I (31)have been battling infertility now for about 5 years. Docs all agree - there's nothing detectably wrong with either of us. Over the past three years, we've done 3 IVF cycles. We finally did implant, only to miscarry almost immediately. Docs recommend that we keep trying.
About 6 months ago we decided to get off of the IVF rollercoaster and pursue adoption. We are now formally "in line" to adopt, waiting for a referral from Latin America. The baby's room has been decorated. The crib is in place.
Which leads me to my dilemma. Recently a # of fellow infertile friends of my wife have become pregant w/IVF. Two against some pretty signif. odds. Now, my wife wants to give IVF another shot. Kind of like, "if they can do it, well damn it, so can we". I'm all for it, as I still would prefer a biolog. child. And we can afford it. But it was a tough process that we went through to mentally prepare to abandon IVF and adopt. The plan would be to try IVF at least one more time, while we remain "in line" for the adoption. The adoption would be the fallback. I guess my primary fear is, will the rekindled hope of having a biol. child set us back in terms of preparing to adopt. WHAT DO YOU THINK?? Thanks!
My wife and I battled infertility for 8 years. I say go for IVF. You are on the list and awaiting your referral so in the interim go for it. The pressure is off cause you know you have the adoption on the burner. We did IVF twice and just had twins in 2000. Good luck, brother. Let us know what you decide. All my best, Bobby
I would say if you can afford the IVF and you are "in line" for adoption, be sure you and your wife are emotionally ready. I have adapted a frame of mind, to help incase of disappointment, instead of looking ahead at the possible end result of becoming pregnant and having our own child, I look at each step in the IVF cycle as my goal. In other words, short term goals instead of long term. If I make it through the first sonogram and the doc makes the appt. for the 2nd one, I've accomplished something great. Now I am in line for egg retrieval on Monday with my 7 little follicles and I couldn't be happier. But I do have to remind myself that this is only the next step, I have not made it to embryo transfer yet, so I don't even think about being pregnant at this point. It seems to help me emotionally. So I say if you have the resources to do it again, do it again! And let us know what you decide! God bless you and your wife and good luck!
JJWray - very interesting - your method of looking at each step of the IVF as you do. Each step being a small obstacle that must be overcome in order to continue. I've never looked at it that way but now I think I will. It really is true.
Our last cycle we barely made it "out of the box" if you look at it that way as my wife's hormone(name?)levels failed to sufficiently stabalize even after 3 weeks on the lupron. Ultimately We had to abandon the cycle. Big =(
During our two full IVF attempts, my wife had about 18 eggs retrieved per cycle. I remember hearing that was a lot of eggs. Luckily we didn't have hyperstimulation. You folks know about that? I bet you do.
We've had great success with ICSI (intercyto something sperm injection - where they actually inject indiv. sperm cells into the egg - pretty amazing!). Have others had success with this procedure?? For some reason in a petri dish, my sperm didn't fertilize as many eggs as they should have according to the lab. I explained they might have just been having a lazy day, but the lab techs didn't think so =).
Then, we waited for our embryos to develop into later-stage multi-celled "blastosis". Other folks done this? Not many of the small family of high quality embryos we had made it to this stage as I recall.
Both initial IVF's we tranferred two high quality blasts. Unfort. they didn't attach.
On one occation we did have an embryo that had been frozen attach, but my wife miscarried almost immediately. Boy was that a new level of heartbreak. I remember learning for the first time after the positive blood test that we weren't out of the woods yet. That some hormone level was supposed to double daily for it to be a normal pregnancy. It didn't. Still wouldn't be able to one of the great names we have waiting.
Well I think I'm rambling. Sorry - JJWray, I think your post brought me back.
At this point our adoption plans have been delayed yet again because of government bureaucracy down in Latin America. My wife asked me to push ahead with our insurance approvals for the IVF (IVF is covered in my state) - so it looks like we're going for it again. Here we go!!
Bobby; I'm so glad that you've decided to go ahead and try the IVF again! Please keep us posted on how things progress for you and your wife. Just remember, one step at a time.
You are very fortunate that your insurance covers at least part of the IVF. Our insurance covered a portion which I am extremely greatful for. Hopefully in the future, they will even cover more.
We have not made it to the stages you spoke of in your post because this is the first time we've gotten this far. (Tomorrow is egg retrieval day). That's all I'm looking at right now, or trying very hard to only think of this anyway. Sometimes my mind reels ahead of my stage and I have to remind myself that this is only another step toward the ultimate goal.
JJWray - you're in my thoughts now and will be tomorrow. Unfortunately I can only share with you what the egg retrieval was like from my perspective. Actually - some good fortune - my wife just walked in the door and is here with me now. Here's her take:
The entire procedure takes about an hour(including the light general anisthesia). Afterwards, the doctor comes in and lets you know how many eggs were retrieved, as well as their quality. Make sure you understand what the quality standard that they use mean. ASK QUESTIONS.
You may feel somewhat bloated afterwards. It goes away in a couple days. They recommend that you rest. Plan to follow that advice and take it easy.
I think it takes 24 hours for fertilization to occur. The nurse should call you the next day with this info.
W/in 3-5 days they move forward with the tranfer. The longer you wait, the more embryonic cell divisions take place, and the better the chances that the embryo will take. You may have a decision to make after 3 days. To wait or not to wait for your embryos to reach the "blastosis" stage of development (i.e. more cells). If you choose to go for blasts, expect to have a smaller # of embryos that ultimately make it. Also be prepared for the docs to transfer less embryos than they might have been prepared to do otherwise because of the better odds of implantation with the blasts and therefore there's an increased risk for multiples.
Also keep in mind that if my memory serves me well, blasts do not tend to freeze well.
Anyway - best best of luck, wishes and prayers for you and your husband. You'll do fine.
Let us know what happens, okay?