Has anyone used donor sperm to achieve a pregnancy? If so, how do you deal with the decision not to tell your child about it? There are so many factors, and I am totally overwhelmed. Can anyone give me some advice about this topic?
I have never used donor sperm. My husband and I discussed using donor sperm but in the end decided to have his vasectomy reversed. As far as telling the child that is a tough one. When my husband and I considered donor sperm NO ONE from our families knew what we were thinking about doing and we weren't going to tell them about the donor sperm and we weren't going to tell our child either. But if other people know things can be said and the last thing you would want is for your child to accidently find out from someone other than you. My mother-in-law accidently told her nephew he was adopted and he ran away from home and it destroyed his relationship with his parents. So I would use caution when deciding this issue. I wish you the best of luck.
We didn't use a donor sperm, but a donor egg. (IVF #1 wasn't succussful and #2 is scheduled for December.) We are most definetly going to tell the child. Like Brenda said, the last thing on earth we want to happen is for the child to find out accidently (I have visions of high school biology class figuring out their blood types from their parents - oops). We are going to tell him/her right away so they grow up with it (vs. a big dramatic talk at age 18). We don't want to keep a big secret like that from the child or from our family (how stressful is that?) And most of all, we want to reassure our child that there is nothing wrong with them because of this - we don't have to keep it a secret. You keep shameful things secret - and there is nothing shameful about having a child that you want very much.