IBS D & Getting Weak & Still Young & also want to die - Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS) Message Board

minded · 08-17-2004, 04:15 AM

Hi,

I have IBS D & go to the toilet 10+ times a day. Everything i eat just comes out & i feel weak. I am 20 year old male & trying to make a life for myself. I am a business man & love to build a foundation for myself. I feel weak the whole day & have taken every vitamin possible. I am not rich either & i use all money on medication. It may work for 2-4 days but then my body gets immune to it. I have tried every vitamin & every diet. Fruits & soya are the only foods for me. I am losing weight like mad. I feel depressed every second of the day. I just wish there was a pill for happiness. I am taurean male & love good cakes & good food. Now i only eat soya food & fruits. These foods feel light for me & dont cause any bloatedness or pain for me. Its gasy but less pain means i can do more work. I make my own food & do everything on my own. I am a nice guy & i do alot of my family & gf. I feel bad for others & always willing to help. I know i sound like im boasting but im not. I feel nobody understands me. My gf is fed up of my emotional weakness & keeps telling me i will find someone who will make me happy.

I cry everyday coz i have nobody in my life. I cry so much, i feel so hurt i bang my head against the wall & the chairs in my room. I live outside my house in a seperate room & thankfully i can cry out alound. Now i cant even cry coz i got no tears left in me. I hands shake everyday like i have nerves or something.

My whole life is a disaster. I just posted a terrible article on the relationships board becuase i really want to die.

I try so hard but it doesnt work out for me. If someone can pray for me, please do.

Thanks
Minded - i hate myself for thinking to deep & too hard.

ladivapr · 08-17-2004, 04:49 AM

I will have you in my prayers

Quote:

Originally Posted by minded

Hi,

I have IBS D & go to the toilet 10+ times a day. Everything i eat just comes out & i feel weak. I am 20 year old male & trying to make a life for myself. I am a business man & love to build a foundation for myself. I feel weak the whole day & have taken every vitamin possible. I am not rich either & i use all money on medication. It may work for 2-4 days but then my body gets immune to it. I have tried every vitamin & every diet. Fruits & soya are the only foods for me. I am losing weight like mad. I feel depressed every second of the day. I just wish there was a pill for happiness. I am taurean male & love good cakes & good food. Now i only eat soya food & fruits. These foods feel light for me & dont cause any bloatedness or pain for me. Its gasy but less pain means i can do more work. I make my own food & do everything on my own. I am a nice guy & i do alot of my family & gf. I feel bad for others & always willing to help. I know i sound like im boasting but im not. I feel nobody understands me. My gf is fed up of my emotional weakness & keeps telling me i will find someone who will make me happy.

I cry everyday coz i have nobody in my life. I cry so much, i feel so hurt i bang my head against the wall & the chairs in my room. I live outside my house in a seperate room & thankfully i can cry out alound. Now i cant even cry coz i got no tears left in me. I hands shake everyday like i have nerves or something.

My whole life is a disaster. I just posted a terrible article on the relationships board becuase i really want to die.

I try so hard but it doesnt work out for me. If someone can pray for me, please do.

Thanks
Minded - i hate myself for thinking to deep & too hard.

tooolgrl · 08-17-2004, 08:32 AM

HUGS to you. I too have IBS-D, know the feeling of not being able to eat. I understand your feeling alone in this, but I am married to a man who would rather be at work than here with his "sick wife", he even told me he doesn't come home because I am such a b****. Which is absolutely not true either. I have been so sick and still take care of HIS kids, cook, clean, tend to his needs and wants. So please feel free to rant and rave, cry and whine, thats what we are here for to support each other. I sit here very sick to my stomach because I haven't eaten yet afraid to eat because of having to run to the toilet. Just remember when you feel so alone and helpless we are here for you.

Sandra

minded · 08-17-2004, 09:47 AM

Thank you for your support. I have already went to the toilet about 6 times & still counting till tonight. You do so much for your husband & he still gets angry. How come you do so much?

I cant help but feel im complaining about my life but at the same time i cant manage this IBS. I am feeling so weak at the moment. I am going through such bad times with my GF & i dont get along with my family. I have lost so many friends with my changing moods.

My hands are shaking while typing this & i dont know what to say when my GF phones. She is tired of my excuses, my complaining about her, my anger, my moods. To be honest im tired of what im going through. I am a pain to everyone. I try so hard to do things for people & im always kind. I never get angry & if i do, i feel guilty. I feel sad for those going through bad times.

My whole life is going down the drain & im trying really hard to save myself & im feelings. Its strange when you still got hope & still nothing goes right. Why is god giving me this hope & courage when i have nobody & nothing to live for?

Thank you for listening Sandra. You will be rewarded one day for your good deeds.

tooolgrl · 08-17-2004, 11:12 AM

Well I tell you I have a very good therapist and support system as far as the medical profession is concerned. It is so important to be able to talk to someone about how you are feeling, nobody knows unless they have gone through it. A lot of people will think this illness is "in your head" but you know better. Please take care of you, if you can get yourself better and your mind feeling better you will be off to a good start. I too, have this horrible weakness, and I miss so much my 2 mile walks every morning but I just cannot do it anymore. Have you seen a doctor for your symptoms?? Please keep posting and remember we are here to support each other.