| | Cant think of a title.I need help and support.
Hi my names kira. Well this all started the week before school. Last wednesday i started getting burning in my calf, like a sunburn in the sun or like a car heater hitting the same spot and then on friday i got heart pains, right on the left breast, i use to get these pains 2 years ago and just thought it was a breathing cramp, but now the pains have been happening everysingle day and they are getting more fierce! You see this wednesday was my first day at school and i was a basket of nerves- hands shaking and tears falling- i was sooo scared of what was happening to my body and how in the world i was going to get through school. Every class i went to was chaos, we have a 10th grade class of over 30 kids. Last year i was used to having the class split in 2, but now since were all together and new things are happening to my body and my gastro doesnt know what to do and i have my cousin staying with us the first week of school and my aunt and uncle are getting here today and my moms working and im losing weight and im always so tense and stressed or nervous. Even as i write this letter my gut is tense, i am tense. Im to the point where i cry everysingle day b/c i dont now what to do?? My mom thinks the new things that are happening to me are anxiety and that it will take a while to get use to school, but she always says"Its your health before anything else. Im not gonna lose you." as i type this i go into tears, i feel as if i dont know what to do anymore- im not the sister, daughter, friend, or student i want to be. This is not me, i use to never be depressed and i dont know why i typed this post i guess im just reaching out and hoping i can find support b/c eventhough i felt alone before i really feel it now and im also wondering how i am going to keep living? Right now i weigh 107 compared to 125 i weighed last year at this time, I know that if i keep going the way im going im gonna be 100 pounds by thanksgiving and i cant even imagine how long its gonna be till ive lost the fight to live. I try to stuff myself until i feel like im gonna throw up to the point where im miserable and im not gaining any weight.
Im going to talk with my adminastrator at the school soon, but i dont know what to say??? By telling my story of whats been going on the past two weeks maybe you can give me some advice of what i can do at school or even how to gain weight. Im also going to see a doctor that hopefully will help me with my stress, nerves, and depression, she deals with kids who are dealing with digestive problems so im hoping she can help me.
I feel alone and scared, so im hoping i can find some support here-Kira