Today, I felt really surprised when one of my colleagues had resigned from his position as a manger (because he had found a better paid position elsewhere). He's only 26 years old. He never told us about quitting and he seemed to enjoyed his work here.
It made me wonder why some people are more successful than others.
Do successful people love themselves more than others?
Is it because of their 'tough' nature - their ability to get back up again whenever they encountered a set-back? If so, how do they do it? I mean, when ever I encountered a set back, it's easy to become sad/depress about it.
Previously, I had posted a thread about my fear of being laid off at work. Comparing myself with this colleague here - he was able to look for work, whereas I spent my time dwelling into negativity and not doing something to improve my situation. It's hard not to worried about being fired at work.
Is it wrong to be weak? I'm not a tough person. I worried what others think of me and I get depressed easily when I encounter a set back.
Is it wrong for me to spent most of my time day-dreaming and listening to reflective / classical music? I get stressed easily and I find listening to reflective music composed by Brain Crain very comforting - but I realized I should be doing something more productive in life instead of wasting time day-dreaming. Like the saying goes, "Life is not a bed of roses".
Last edited by jimmyhonda; 08-02-2010 at 09:47 AM.
The following user gives a hug of support to jimmyhonda: sharkyfin100 (11-24-2011)
Re: Why are some people more successful than others?
The best answer I can provide is to listen (or read) "The strangest secret." It's an audio (or short story) by Earl Nightingale that does a really good job of explaining just this question. The basic premise is, "You are what you think about." It goes on to explain that someone who doesn't focus is sort of like a ship turned loose with no one at the rudder. It goes nowhere, or ends up washed up on a beach somewhere. It says that successful people are constantly thinking about where they want to be, what they want to be, and that because their thoughts are focused on that, their actions naturally follow suit. Many philosophers have pointed out this phenomenon- it's even mentioned in the Bible- it's just that most of us don't fully understand that our actions tend to follow our thoughts. Since listening to the audiobook, I have found that the premise is true. The more I think about a certain aspect (in my case, I am focused on my health, not financial success) the more I find that I see improvements.
The Following User Says Thank You to EagleRiverDee For This Useful Post: mjssoulfan (02-06-2012)
Re: Why are some people more successful than others?
Well, we need money to survive....unless you have someone supporting you financially, sitting listening to music and contemplating your worries are OK I guess.
The only problem with doing such is that you don't take the steps, leaps or failures in order to find intrinsic success of trying or testing yourself or taking risks. I understand the setbacks and depression. I have that too....but I try to work it out or discuss it with others to create another plan. Hope it works better than the last one, etc.
Sometimes we set ourselves up for failure and I'd hate to say that we can also get addicted to the disappointments so that we can zone out. Depression is many times a counter response to anxiety.
It's a risk to get involved.....what others think is totally beyond your control. You can enjoy your music and still make more of an effort at living. Just set a time limit of depression and allow yourself options to move forward. If plan a doesn't work, then maybe plan D will, etc.
Actually, there's a saying "get busy living or get busy dying"....it's best to tackle your fears and require of yourself. Your process may take longer...find the balance of what you need to recover and what you need to move forward.
Therapy might be something you should consider....
q
__________________
It's all a matter of perspective!
Re: Why are some people more successful than others?
jI agree that therapy might be a good option for you. You sound insecure and unsure about how others perceive you. A good therapist will help work on your self esteem-which will make you a more assertive person.
Listening to music isn't bad, but if you are doing that instead of other things that put you out with people or working on getting another job, then it has become a crutch. My oldest son listens to jazz non stop, but he is a professional jazz trumpet player and he uses the mucis to help further his playing ability and that helps his career.
Taking a step out of your security zone helps you grow and develop as a person. Maybe it's tiime to take those steps outside of your comfort area...
Re: Why are some people more successful than others?
Some great advices... thank you all!!
Today, my manger broke the news and told me that my contract expires on Thursday. He told me to have a think whether I want to leave or work one day instead...
I guess that's the polite way of saying, "you are fired!"
Why would I want to work 1 day? I was working four days in the first place. There were obvious signals that they want to get rid of me, but I dismissed them and I told myself I was being paranoid or that I over analyzed those things.
Right now, I have a massive head-ache. I've been trying to get so sleep for the last three hours but couldn't stop worrying about being unemployed .... and paying bills..
I hope this is a normal feeling that everyone experienced when you've been laid off.
Re: Why are some people more successful than others?
It's an awful feeling...being fired or laid-off. But, if they're "firing" you, please go to them and ask for complete feedback so you can improve your future actions to become a better employee/worker for other positions.
Being responsible towards change is a good thing.....methinks you aren't accepting that you have control about your thought/behaviour processes.
I hope things improve for you.
q
__________________
It's all a matter of perspective!
Re: Why are some people more successful than others?
They have done many, many studies on this question and from what I've read, the answer is very simple.....luck.
Some people just get lucky and get breaks the rest of us don't. It's not that we are failing or that they are better but sure and simple luck.
You didn't do anything wrong and he didn't do something right...luck. It's random and nothing we can cause or delay or avoid.
Luck means we still control our destiny and we might get lucky too someday but there is nothing wrong with us if we don't. Sometimes it's just dumb luck.
Re: Why are some people more successful than others?
Quote:
Originally Posted by jimmyhonda
It made me wonder why some people are more successful than others.
A successful person needs to be conscientious, willing to work and have a desire to get ahead. I believe you have the desire to get ahead and you're willing to work, you just need to get the right formula going for you. That might come under the heading of "conscientiousness". Being conscientious means doing your best to do all the right things. It applies to everything in life. So when an opportunity presents itself, you will be ready to take advantage of it. A little luck is good too, but you still need to be ready for it when it comes.
When I was in high school, I had a friend who I thought was the luckiest kid in the world. He was born into a very wealthy family. If I were to give his name, everyone would recognize it immediately. His grandfather set up a trust fund for everyone in the family and he was to get a great sum of money every year for the rest of his life. He also was blessed with intelligence and good looks. So, he had it made, right? Well, not exactly. He liked to drink and sniff glue and by the time he was 18 he had liver disease. Somehow, he managed to live to age fourty, at which time he died of an overdose of sleeping pills. I guess he wasn't emotionally ready for success and couldn't handle it.
Perhaps the moral of the story is: Be thankful for what you do have but if you desire to be more successful, you need to be ready for the opportunity when it presents itself. And we don't always know exactly what that opportunity will be. My life was an economic disaster until I found something I'm good at.
Last edited by JohnR41; 10-22-2011 at 09:44 AM.
Reason: Word change
Re: Why are some people more successful than others?
Success is not always measured by how much money you have or how much power you have. If you are truly happy, then you are successful. The reason some are more successful than others is courage. They were courageous enough to make the hard decisions that lead them to a position they are very happy with. It is different for everybody and not all about money.
The Following User Says Thank You to Jan0660 For This Useful Post: loveofdesire (11-05-2011)
Re: Why are some people more successful than others?
Dear friend people get success in life by putting lot of hard work always be positive never get depressed although there is part of luck also which plays important role in life if you got both luck and hard work then no one can stop you becoming successful person try to learn things from others why they r doing so good whats their qualites and work on your weak points to overcome them and get a taste of success
The Following User Says Thank You to loveofdesire For This Useful Post: JohnR41 (11-05-2011)
Re: Why are some people more successful than others?
Success is a combination of three factors - luck, talent, and hard work.
Some people are just lucky, others are skilled, and some work hard to get where they're going. Most successful people are a combination of these. If you get depressed whenever you meet adversity in life, you might not achieve much in your career. Tenacity goes a long ways.
Re: Why are some people more successful than others?
I think success or luck is all in one's own mind. Almost always people look across the fence and judge the grass greeener on the other side. People see through our own pain and hardship, and rarely have any true idea what pain or sorrow or failure is behind anyone else's smiles or closed doors.
To me, success is when I am able to appreciate whatever I have and what i don't presently have to endure, do things from my heart and not just for money or appearances, and can refrain from visiting my own pain on anyone else. I try to avoid pity parties, my own or anyone else's. I made a decision to allow myself about 5 minutes of self pity, then change my mindset to gratitude..
I think success is to live my own life and not compare it to anyone else's. This is always my goal. When I can do it, I consider myself successful.
Re: Why are some people more successful than others?
jimmy...looks like...well there will be some hard times ahead. The situation you are in is depressive. No not because of the job that is caring you up in a stature in life. But because you are losing emotional ground, to the desperate point of all will be lost. You my man will be groundless, raw, ending soon as you will let it.
I wish you the best but I expect the worst. Peace my friend, peace you better dam better find it.
Re: Why are some people more successful than others?
Someone will always be richer, more successful, etc than the others because everyone has different actions, ideas, goals, opportunities, capacity, and even luck. I may not have the perfect answer for your question, but I'll share this quote I read sometime:
"One must not compare his journey to others because if you do, you will always find faults in your self".
Re: Why are some people more successful than others?
Quote:
Originally Posted by EagleRiverDee
The best answer I can provide is to listen (or read) "The strangest secret." It's an audio (or short story) by Earl Nightingale that does a really good job of explaining just this question. The basic premise is, "You are what you think about." It goes on to explain that someone who doesn't focus is sort of like a ship turned loose with no one at the rudder. It goes nowhere, or ends up washed up on a beach somewhere. It says that successful people are constantly thinking about where they want to be, what they want to be, and that because their thoughts are focused on that, their actions naturally follow suit. Many philosophers have pointed out this phenomenon- it's even mentioned in the Bible- it's just that most of us don't fully understand that our actions tend to follow our thoughts. Since listening to the audiobook, I have found that the premise is true. The more I think about a certain aspect (in my case, I am focused on my health, not financial success) the more I find that I see improvements.
This reply hit the nail on the head with what I'm going through. I cannot thank you enough!
Re: Why are some people more successful than others?
I agree with the point of view that is highlighted in the book on psychology I am currently reading - some people take all chances, take risks, plan and reach goals, the others are just procrastinating, and it is the only problem.
Re: Why are some people more successful than others?
Well everyone has their challenges. I guess the 2 main things to have nowadays to be deemed successful would be money and an education. Thanks to the modern day, no one really has an excuse not to get an education so success can lie in that. Money is usually based upon getting that education and then working your way up. Also, having connections with people in certain areas never hurts either. That would be the general idea anyway. It really depends on how you define "successful"
