I wish to give my kidney... but... - Kidney Disorders Message Board

pinaypixie · 08-18-2006, 09:41 AM

Hello,
I just wanted to ask a few questions about what my mom and I are going though. My mom has had diabetes for the most part of her life. She stopped working 4 years ago due to some complications with her kidney. She is now 50, and has been going to dialysis 3 days a week. This is her third year on dialysis. I’ve been telling her for years that if she ever needed my kidney, she has my full support and permission.

So earlier this year we agreed to take the steps towards the transplant. She just finished all the tests she needed for the surgery clearance. But it turns out her transplant doctor talked her into going on the list, rather than having me donate my kidney… I was hurt, and my heart felt like it was crushed…

A little bit about me: I’m 23, married with no kids. I’m healthy, but not as active as I should be. I’m a college student in my 3rd year, so my degree is just around the corner. My mom’s doctor was concerned because both my mom and my grandmother have complications with their diabetes. I don’t know much about my grandmother’s condition; all I know is that she is in a nursing home and she injects insulin each day.
I have had blood tests in the past (2 years ago), none of them said I have diabetes… yes, I do understand that I have a high probability of developing it later, but for right now, I do not have it. I’ve have showed high cholesterol, but that is understandable because I don’t exercise and I’m not afraid to say that I eat out about half of the times I have meals. I am overweight (I’m a size 14/16), but that’s not the point of this post, and yes I do understand that my lifestyle isn’t up to par, but I’m a college student, for that I am sorry. =) I am willing to change my lifestyle for my mom... if they are willing to let me give her my kidney. =(

So what I am trying to ask is,
Should I respect what her doctor is saying, and just let my mom wait for a kidney on the list? I am here, more than willing (and have been for years) to give her my kidney. My husband and I both understand the risks, and we’ve even talked about adopting if it turns out that I can’t have children later. I don’t know if me having only one kidney will effect my ability to have children, but we’re certain we would be alright with is decision.

Thank you for taking the time to read my post, and I am looking forward to your replies.

~pinaypixie

Cora1003 · 08-18-2006, 01:53 PM

The best thing for your Mom is a living related donor kidney. Living on dialysis is a bit like dog years. The average person ages 4 years for every year they are on dialysis. A transplant will double or triple your life expectancy that was on dialysis.

I know that I didn't want a kidney from my Mom (she was too old anyway) because I was afraid that I would reject it and I was afraid of complications for her. Your Mom probably feels this way about you. If you can, I would try to press.

Now, the good news. My transplant center (Fairview Univ. Med. Ctr in Minneapolis) did a very large study on female donors who wanted to get pregnant after the donation. They found no differences between the averagbe population, and the donor population. All had the same incidences of ability to get pregnant, rate of miscarriage, rate of birth defects, rate of twins, rate of healthy live births. The only thing that most centers recommend is that you donate either a year before or a year after you have a child in order to give your body time to recuperate.

The recovery time is about 6 weeks, but if you are not in that great shape, it might be a bit more. I would worry about missing college unless you do it during the summer break.

I have had diabetes for 40 years (T1), was on dialysis for a year (awful!) and have had my kidney from my cousin for nearly 4 years. She is doing great, btw.

I hope this helps you.

Cora

pinaypixie · 08-23-2006, 11:29 AM

Thank you for the posts!
Cora, its so good to hear about the study you mentioned, and its something I would definately bring up with my mom!
Their main concern is the diabetes risk that I have... I haven't brought it up yet with my parents but I will ask them if I can have her doctor's number or even e-mail to talk to them about this situation.

~pinaypixie