How can I help 80 yr old mum in law after thr? - Knee & Hip Problems Message Board

happybunny · 11-29-2005, 01:26 PM

We are going to be staying in my 80 yr old mum-in-law's flat from when she comes out of hospital after a THR, for at least 10 days anyway. She's also partially sighted (AMD) which adds to the problem.

I've read up all I can about after such an op but still feel unsure about how much help she may need re washing/dressing etc. We hope that by the time we actually leave she will feel more confident and be able to cope with being alone most of the day - family nearby will only be able to pop in some of the day but her daughter is a local district nurse so can be there in emergency and keep an excellent eye on her.

I know from when I have left hospital after a big op one can feel insecure and lack confidence slightly once the 24 hour nursing care has suddenly vanished. Hopefully by being there, and able to do chores for her, that will help, and we can "wean" her into being alone and managing those same chores fairly happily.

At least by being there we will be able to see any extra probs that may arise. Saucepans need to be on the hob not in a low drawer for example. We've given her one of our "carver" dining chairs so she has arms to push up with. She has been supplied with a push-along trolley, long grabber, high loo seat and sock thingy. Bless her, she has been practising with that and says it's OK but when she's got it in place she can't see where to put her foot! Some of these probs we have forseen - as she cannot see well she leans forward in her chair to see the TV screen - she is already only 2 ft away from it due to her sight. I have told her she will not be able to bend forwards like that due to the 90' rule! Maybe we can raise the TV etc. Also to see her "magnified" computer - we will be able to help her get the best position to keep on with her computing without leaning forward.

OK, part of my worry comes from the fact that I have some disability myself and am going to have quite some difficulty helping her to wash/ dress etc. Will there be much of that involved do you think? I don't want to let her down... But I believe that reinforcing the ability to relax and take one's time to do difficult things maybe the best care we can give - reassert her confidence in her own ability in other words.

Any thoughts or advice would be helpful. I really want this to be as easy for her as possible. I know this is a long recovery period - I am not so sure that she acknowledges that, so it is important that we can give the right sort of encouragement.

Thanks to all. Hope your own recoveries are going OK.

legtoolong · 12-11-2005, 09:29 PM

Hi,
I would say encourage as much independence as possible. Even in the hospital, I was doing my own sponge bath. My surgeon didn't want me to shower until 24 hr. after the stitches were removed at 2 weeks. That may be the harder problem for you. My husband got in the shower with me and helped me. When my mom was an invalid for years before she died, my dad had a personal shower installed--one you could use sitting on a bath chair that is a hose with a shower head on the end. It has an on-off switch so it can be controlled easier. With this, she could sit while someone helped her bathe.

It also depends on the restrictions the doctor requires. I couldn't put weight on my operated leg for 6 weeks. That made it more difficult to be safe and stable in the shower alone. I did shower on my own after about a week of help.

Hope this helps a little.
Leg

Ripanco · 12-12-2005, 06:48 AM

Hi happybunny,
It sure is wonderful that you are going to be helping your MIL after her surgery. The first week is the hardest and you will have a good idea by the time you have to leave what is going to work or not.

As far as dressing, I would get her some real simple loose clothes to wear. Especially if she does not have to go out right away. The less you have to put on and take off, the better. Night shirts/gowns, very loose pants with a drawstring waist. Going sockless was my best bet, but it was spring when I had surgery so that is not so good for this time of year, but a nice warm pair of slippers with backs that she can put on easily with the long shoe horn will be easier than socks. Extra big undies or go commando.

As far as bathing, I was allowed to shower right off by covering my incision with Tegaderm. Make sure she has a seat in the shower. If she dosen't have one, install a hand held shower head. At her age, i think it would be worth installing a grab bar too.

Until she is able to get in and out of the tub herself, baby wipes are wonderful for a quick wash up. Just make sure that she can get to all the things she needs with out too much work.

How about visiting nurseing, is that available? Or home health care? A lot depends on your MIL's physical condition pre surgery, but if she is pretty healthy she should recover well and manage to get on with her life much more comfortably before long.

Best of luck to all of you, let us know how things go!