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Old 10-10-2008, 09:17 PM   #1
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34yr old Mom of six having THR on 10/14/08...Help!

Hi! I am new here. My name is Susan and I just turned 34 this week. I am having a LTHR on 10/14 and I am so very nervous.

When I was 20 yrs old I found out I have bilateral Congenital Hip Dysplasia. I had a Shelf Procedure Osteotomy on my left hip when I was 21. I had a 1yr old at the time. The recovery was brutal, a huge 14 inch scar, 12 weeks of non weight bearing using crutches. I didn't have great results and over the years I regret having the surgery. But I learned to deal with my hip pain and stiffness. It became a part of my life that I silently dealt with and went on with my life. I got married and had 5 more kids (yes, six total). My pregnancies were actually wonderful with very little hip pain. I delivered them naturally with no epidural. But once the pregnancy was over, my hip pain was back full force and angry!

This past summer I was recovering from having baby#6 and my left hip became so painful I could hardly move. We cancelled our vacation plans because I was in so much pain. I knew it was time to see the OS again.
I live in PA and went to Philadelphia to find my OS. I will be having a LTHR next week. Since my husband and I are unsure if we are done having kids, my OS strongly recommended a ceramic/ceramic hip. So that is what I am going with.

I will be having help for about 6 weeks because of having young kids. OS says restrictions will be for 6wks and then I can go back to normal life. I am so scared that after those 6wks, when I am on my own, that I won't be able to care for my little ones. I am used to being on the go, with a baby in my arms and a screaming toddler hanging on my leg while trying to unload groceries. I will have no choice but to do my best for them. But I will be always scared that I will move wrong and dislocate. I will be bending up and down lifting my 5 month old from the car seat, highchair, floor, etc. My 3yr old is my "Mr. Tantrum" lately with full out screaming fits. Will I be able to pick him up off the floor at the store when he decides to throw a tantrum? I will not be able to use the reacher thing to pick up my kids from the floor, LOL! These are the worries I have about the surgery. I don't worry about the surgery itself or the pain, I worry about my future. Everyone keeps telling me that I will be fine because I am a young and healthy but I am still scared.

I feel like I am making a huge trade-off. I know my hip will not get better and I don't want to be a disappointment to my kids anymore. I am tired of telling them that my "leg" hurts and we can't go to the park today. I hate watching all the other Mommies doing things with there kids while I sit on the bench in pain. It really stinks! I am becoming a mean person to my husband to. I snap at him over the littlest things. I feel angry, sad, embarrassed, and tired because of all this with my hip. I am usually a happy person but not anymore.

Are there any Moms out there going through this too! Any advise from anyone would be greatly appreciated! Thanks!

Susan

 
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Old 10-10-2008, 10:55 PM   #2
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Re: 34yr old Mom of six having THR on 10/14/08...Help!

Susan,

Hi, I'm a mom just 5 yrs older than you and I have 2 boys, 9 and 18 and all through their lives I've had serious knee problems and 10 knee surgeries starting when my odest was 1 and 10 abdominal surgeries starting with my first son. I know how hard it can be to take care of little ones when you're trying to recover. I just had a knee reconstruction/tibial osteotomy 6 weeks ago and have been on crutches and in an immobilizing brace for 6 and have 8 week left to go. Is there anyway that you can get more help past the 6 week mark, perhaps a mother or mother in law come to stay with you, or have a neighbor girl come in and sit with the kids part of the day, so you can rest? I know the docs say 6 weeks, but you're still going to be tired and from what I've read on here about hip replacements alot of these folks can't bend and pick things up, and they have to sit a certain way or stand a certain way.....so it seems like if you had more help past the 6 week mark, that would be good. Do you have church folks that could help you? Maybe someone that you could give a grocery list to and let them go and pick up your groceries, when they get they're own? I went a day or so right before my surgery and did a major grocery shopping trip and stocked everything so that there was plenty of food in the house for like 2 weeks and nobody had to worry about it. But these are just some of the things that I can think of that I've done over the years to help during recovery.

Hope to hear back from you, and I wish you well on your surgery.

 
Old 10-11-2008, 07:01 AM   #3
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Re: 34yr old Mom of six having THR on 10/14/08...Help!

Actually, my 6 weeks of help is a combination of all those people you suggested (my husband, mom, dad, friends, neighbors, etc) It has taken a lot of work to come up with a scheduale so that I have help. My kids are ages 5 months, 3,5,8,11 and 13. The older 3 are in school for most of the day but they have so many activities after school. So i also had to find people to help take them where they need to go. My OS said that after the 6 weeks, they bending restrictions are lifted, but my fear is dislocation with all that is involved with being a Mommy. I will have help until Thanksgiving. After that, the holidays will be here and people who already had given so much time to help me will be busy in their own lives. I already feel like such a burden asking for this much help as it is.

Thank you for your advice! I sometimes feel like I am the only one dealing with this. But I know I am not!

Susan

 
Old 10-11-2008, 02:37 PM   #4
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Re: 34yr old Mom of six having THR on 10/14/08...Help!

Susan,

Okay, so those ideas are exhausted, I will wrack my brain, and see if I can think of any other idea's to help you. And lord girl, you must be a saint to take care of all those kiddo's. Some day's I feel like I can't get through the 2 that I have! LOL

kat

 
Old 10-11-2008, 05:24 PM   #5
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Re: 34yr old Mom of six having THR on 10/14/08...Help!

Hi. Although hip restrictions are eased a bit after 6 weeks you still have to be really careful about how you bend to pick up things (no twisting) for quite a while longer and I was told to be careful about picking up heavy things. (I'm just hitting the 10 week post surgery mark). I was told that when I pick things up, I should balance on non-operated leg and put operated leg behind me (sort of like golfers' do). I was not told that I could bend past 90 degrees with no worries and my doctor did an anterior lateral incision and basically pushing muscles aside with very few deep muscles cut.

You will feel better at 6 weeks, but will still need to be careful. You won't be able to operate at full speed for sustained periods of time. You will need to be able to rest a bit. But, every day will be better than the last.

Sounds to me like you'll be able to manage lots of things on your own--arrange your kitchen so things you use most are at waist height or higher--even after 6 weeks. I got a laundry basket with wheels so that wouldn't be dragging laundry basket to laundry room. can find those online.

It was really hard for me to ask people to help me, but I found to my surprise that most of my friends and family were delighted to help--it was just frustrating to me at times (to tell the truth) to wait on someone else's schedule to get certain things done as I'm used to being independent and the one that everyone else relies on. Being forced to give up control and wait for other folks was actually probably good for me (though I'm glad I'm back to being independent!))

Take care.

Maggie

Last edited by Larimergirl; 10-11-2008 at 05:27 PM.

 
Old 10-11-2008, 08:02 PM   #6
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Re: 34yr old Mom of six having THR on 10/14/08...Help!

Hi Larimergirl! Thanks for your advise. Were you told that you would ALWAYS have to be careful about bending and lifting? I thought is was just until the muscles heal around the hip. I wonder if it is too late to cancel this surgery. I think I rather be in pain then to be in a constant state of worry about each move I make. This is so hard. Will there ever be a time that I can just live life. Honestly, I am starting to feel like this is the beginning of the end for me. I am having this surgery so that I can do MORE with my kids, not LESS! I wish the OS and his staff would be more honest. They make it seem like after the 6 weeks, then I will be able to basically go back to normal life. I was told that I will have no permanant restrictions, that my hip will be the guide, if it hurts, don't do it. Of course they don't know what my life involves. It involves lots of lifting and bending. It is not like I can just change jobs eighter. These are my kids!!! I need to take care of them! It seems like a lose/lose situation. If I have the surgery, the pain will hopefully be gone, but my life will revolve around hip restrictions. What should I do?

 
Old 10-12-2008, 10:58 AM   #7
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Re: 34yr old Mom of six having THR on 10/14/08...Help!

No. restrictions are not forever--but they are lifted progressively. Doctor wants me to be careful particularly through 12 weeks. Doesn't mean can't bend and pick up kids, just means must be careful--no twisting etc. After 6 months most restrictions are lifted and by one year can do anything. Trust me it's not worth cancelling. I am so relieved at the fact that pain is absolutely gone on operated side. It's great. It's worth having to be a little careful. I didn't want to scare you but just have you (and your family) realize that you weren't going to be able to stoop and carry in the same way without regard to posture and degree of bending for a while. You will be shown and or told how to lift, pick up things etc. you will not immediately after 6 weeks be the same mom you were before--you will be better in loads of ways--able to move without pain, play with kids and even bend--but you will still have to think of your movements a little and take care of yourself. You will have to put yourself first a little bit and I'm sure as a mother of six that is something you don't do too often. Don't cancel the surgery--your kids will be glad to have a pain free mom even if she has to move carefully for a while. Maggie

 
Old 10-12-2008, 04:46 PM   #8
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Re: 34yr old Mom of six having THR on 10/14/08...Help!

Susan,

I just have one question, why are you having this surgery when your youngest is so little? Is it because your pain is so bad that you can't bear it anymore? I can surely understand that. Hopefully since you're so young you'll heal quickly and up to chasing the kiddo's around in no time.

 
Old 10-12-2008, 06:19 PM   #9
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Re: 34yr old Mom of six having THR on 10/14/08...Help!

I agree that Mom of Six will heal quickly due to her age and I feel bad if my first comments added to her panic. She will definitely will be able to do more after the surgery--Her doctor didn't lie--each doctor's advice is different and maybe my surgeon is more conservative than some. Following initial 6 weeks, my doctor said I'd notice great improvements and that is the case. Still, he cautioned me to be careful about the way I bend and how I lift things. Maybe Mom's doctor will not give her any restrictions after 6 weeks. I suspect he will give her some of the same cautions my doctor does, but they are easy to live with. I am bending down using doctor's restrictions and doing ok. Anyway, sorry for adding to upset.

Maggie

 
Old 10-12-2008, 07:20 PM   #10
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Re: 34yr old Mom of six having THR on 10/14/08...Help!

Hi,
I had a THP because of arthritis (root cause: dysplasia) in June. Nearly all restrictions were lifted at 6 weeks. You will be so relieved to be rid of the pain! Don't worry--you'll do just great.

I have a 9-year-old and two 7-year-olds. You should get a grabber if you don't have one already--it will help with laundry, picking things up off the floor. A tall dustpan/brush will help as well. Good luck!

 
Old 10-13-2008, 05:41 PM   #11
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Re: 34yr old Mom of six having THR on 10/14/08...Help!

It will all work out! I'm sure you have a great doctor! Your kids will love getting their mommy back (and they may even enjoy helping you while you recover). My youngest niece was a wonderful companion and spent a lot of time at my house helping. We played a lot of games and she made me laugh.

Best wishes. Let us know how it goes when you are able to get back to the computer.

Maggie

 
Old 10-13-2008, 09:34 PM   #12
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Re: 34yr old Mom of six having THR on 10/14/08...Help!

You sound alot like me...I always had to schedule my surgeries around kids schedules and pain levels, etc. Well your almost there and everything will be fine. We'll be waiting to hear from you to see how you are doing.

 
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