Join Date: Sep 2005
should i even bother?
Hello. Please bare with me, and if you get through all this I would really appreciate some advice
I am a 19 year old college student and just a few weeks ago something sparked my brain. I thought I "just didnt get it" or was just stupid. It has always been, "well, one day I'll learn" but my mindset is starting to change. Maybe I can't learn.
Since grade school I have had troubles with math. It didn't seem like a big deal at the time, but when I needed to add or subtract I HAD to use my fingers AND a piece of paper. Then came along multiplication. I could NEVER remember ANY of the equations, and again, HAD to use my fingers AND paper. Dividing was just as hard (long division or basic). One, I never got it, and two, you need to know your multilplication tables. But still, I never thought it was a big deal. But through recent events, I started adding things up. I am 19, I can not read a traditional clock. To do so, I need to count, use my fingers, estimate, and take 5 minutes of my time. To this day I also can not read a ruler, or a measuring tape. I know what inches are, but the smaller lines leading to fractions baffle me. When I'm asked what time it is, and there's no digital clock, or asked to read a measurement, I blow them off, pretending like I don't care. When in reality, I do care, I just don't know. Always, I have had trouble with seeing numbers in my head. I can see pictures and words, tear them into definitional, understandable pieces, but can not do the same with numbers. Its as if the number 8 is just a symbol, it doesnt mean anything. Growing up, and still to this day, I also had trouble when letters are sitting next to numbers. Such as, 3D+5E looks like 30+53. I am an avid reader and aspiring writer when my attention span allows it, and comprehend and see letters and words perfectly. Growing up I was an A/B student, except for math where I recieved C's and D's. Again, growing up, I never thought it to be a big deal.
Now, what really got me going is when I was currently diagnosed with ADHD and took the IQ tests. I recieved a high college reading/writing level, and a 4th grade math level. With this, I have to take English 102 and Developmental Math (no credits for this class, just basic learning to get you ready for Algebra). When taking this developmental class, I don't see me being any different than when I was growing up. I don't see me getting through this class.
Like most people, I stereotyped Dyslexia as "just seeing letters backwards" and new no different for Discalculia/Discalculalia, it's "just seeing numbers backwards". I don't see numbers backwards, and I was always told that "everybody has a difficult subject".
Is it just "a difficult subject"? Or should I talk to my current psychiatrist about testing for learning disorders? Does this, at all, sound like Discalculia/Discalculalia? Or any other learning difficulty?
Please note, for years I have studied, and tried different techniques to learn. Nothing has worked successfully.
I study abnormal psychology, but know little about learning disorders. Growing up, I was mostly an A/B student, how could a Learning Disorder go so far undetected? If I do have Discalculalia, is there hope for me to learn, just in different ways? If I don't, what is going on?
Mostly appreciating you listening to me babble. Can anyone help? Or should I even bother?