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Old 05-31-2008, 12:25 AM   #1
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Question Dad won't see the doc, lost and scared

Hello everyone. I am new to message boards all together but am hoping i can get this figured out. My Dad is 55yrs old and has been drinking for around 30 +/- a few yrs. He is an obvious alcoholic but tries to sppear fine. Since 12 he has been telling me he thought he has cancer, ect. I am now 24. I am not able to see him very often but have noticed certain things about him. in the past few years I have heard comments about his wieght (loss), seen his depression increse, lack of will towards life, he seems to get tired easily but tries to hide it, he eats but he doesn't seem to get anything out of it(like he does it as a tradition on holidays or occansional lunches) but I am fairly unaware of his eating habitts other than that, one of the main things that I have noticed is the jaundice look, and the newest of all of them is the abcess/cist looking bumps. He has had one on his face, back, wrist (now supposedly gone), and ankle. I know that jaundice is a liver related issue but am also afriad to jump to conclusions. Does anyone have any helpful input? Also on stages, features, prognosis. I can't seem to find enough of what I am looking for on the web in general.

 
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Old 05-31-2008, 06:09 AM   #2
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Re: Dad won't see the doc, lost and scared

hi. welcome to the board.
does your dad ever go to the dr? you need to try and get copies of his lab work so you can figure out what is going on.
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Old 05-31-2008, 05:49 PM   #3
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Re: Dad won't see the doc, lost and scared

No that's the problem, I am going to try to beg him again to at least get the lab work done so I can have more info. Even if he refuses any tx I can still know more.

 
Old 06-01-2008, 06:32 AM   #4
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Re: Dad won't see the doc, lost and scared

oops. see that in the title now.
hope you can get him to go to dr. my hubby has drank about 25-30 years and is in the last stages of cirrhosis.

good luck.
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Old 06-01-2008, 09:33 AM   #5
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Re: Dad won't see the doc, lost and scared

OOPS SORRY! I was in a hurry and clicked the wrong button last time, Does your hubby have similar symtoms? How long has he had it? How long diagnosed?

 
Old 06-01-2008, 02:23 PM   #6
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Re: Dad won't see the doc, lost and scared

i wish there was a timeline for this terrible disease but there is not. everyone is different.
my girlfriend and i have shared alot because her mom was told she had cirrhosis after my husband. they would progress past each other and snap out of it. this started for us in 1999 and for her around 2000. she died friday. and so many others on this board have lost their loved ones since i joined. as for his symptoms, the fluid build up is pretty bad. they do the fluid taps to keep it down and he takes a few different kinds of fluid meds. the confusion is bad if the ammonia levels go up, have to keep him on lactolose. he does have these bumps, one his forehead, pretty big. it's not like a pimple, just a bump. been there a long time. trying now to get him on liver transplant list.
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Old 06-01-2008, 07:24 PM   #7
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Re: Dad won't see the doc, lost and scared

I don't know much about the length of time that it can or does last for. He has had a yellow look to his eyes for about 3 years maybe a little more and the abscess looking things for1-2yrs. he tries to say it's nothing and cuts them to drian cause he doesn't want to go to the doc. Can you see the jaundice yet in your situation? I try to talk to my dad but it never seems to really do much or go very far. He doesn't like to talk about it so it is really hard.I don't know when the "clubbing" of the fingers usually happens and can't remember excatly how his were the last time I was able to see him in person. Plus that is a less obvious spot than the eyes or lump on the side of the face. I have heard of meople living up to at least 8 yrs with the disease, is that an average?

 
Old 06-02-2008, 01:54 PM   #8
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Re: Dad won't see the doc, lost and scared

I was just thinking is there any way that I can admit his into some sort of hospital? I know he won't do it on his own

 
Old 06-02-2008, 02:32 PM   #9
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Re: Dad won't see the doc, lost and scared

i've never heard of the clubbing of the fingers.
yes, he has been yellow since november, maybe a little before that.
i don't know much about making him go to hospital. i never had the guts to do that. i was reading an email in this section about that.
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Old 06-02-2008, 04:32 PM   #10
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Re: Dad won't see the doc, lost and scared

He also hadn't visably started retaining the fliud yet in his abdomen-at least that i could tell the last time I seen him. He is like a recluse. I called the hospital and they told me there is nothing I can do if he isn't willing even if he is still drinking. Now I guess I will keep researching ways to approach trying to get him to at leastt get the blood tests done. I have had no luck yet. It is so hard to know that he is sick but be so powerless and not ever have a clue on the reality or extent of where his health is as he hides it and is very short. He knows something is wrong and I think he even knows what it is as well. My dad and I used to be very close and I think his way of "protecting" me from the truth and pain when it does happen is the way he has pulled away from me. I wish I could find a way to show him the damage and hurt that it causes me even though I am now 24 and have a family of my own. I think about him and what I can do every day.

 
Old 06-02-2008, 05:08 PM   #11
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Re: Dad won't see the doc, lost and scared

i lost my dad in 1988. he was an alcoholic and i thought that would kill him but that's not what killed him. cigarettes got him. i know it's hard on you. i wish you all the luck.
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Old 06-02-2008, 05:30 PM   #12
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Re: Dad won't see the doc, lost and scared

yeah he is a smoker too. one after the other. Any tips on how you get through it. I have so many mixed feelings. Sometimes i am so angry cause he won't get help, then i cry cause i miss him already, and i see him going downhill as much as he covers it up. I want to be close, and talk to him more and for him to be open. He just pushes me away though. Well at least he doesn't let me get too close I should say. I get so confused with the way I feel and what to do. I hate it. I cry all the time but keep telling myself, no I'm not gonna cry and that I just need to face the facts, or that maybe it's not as bad as it looks, etc.

 
Old 06-03-2008, 02:07 PM   #13
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Re: Dad won't see the doc, lost and scared

i didn't deal with my dad's illness very well and i'm not dealing with my husband's illness very well either. guess i probably shouldn't be the one to give any advice. one of girls on here said to have patience that they are going thru alot. but geeze, so are we. i try really hard to be patient. everytime i get short with him he starts crying, this has just started. i don't want to hurt his feelings, but it seems i keep doing it. he has never been the crying type before. he must really be going thru hell. i also try to be strong for my son cause he's not handling this very well either, he is 16. it is very hard watching someone you love suffer like this. they go thru phases with it and sometimes they open up. i hope your dad will not push you away when he really needs someone. good luck.
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