I am married with five children ranging from13-23 my hubby has copd mild at the moment but will nt stop smoking n its doing my head in cus when he ends up on oxygen i wont be able to put up wiv it cus its hurting me so much that he wont stop for me n the kids.
What can i do i hate being in this situation alltogether n i have health probs too but nothing i wont do something about.
Last edited by Dolphin43; 06-23-2008 at 05:27 AM.
I wish there WAS a way to make your husband stop smoking. I fear he might be one of those people that keeps on smoking, till their lungs are halfway or more "shot". I too smoked for years: I now have emphysema...but I quit smoking shortly before I was "officially" diagnosed. I really don't understand why a person diagnosed with Copd would contine to smoke. He must feel he just can't quit...that's really sad; I understand how you feel. It must feel like a slap in the face for him to keep smoking, when it keeps further damaging his lungs. I just wish I could give you helpful advice...The best to you...Deb
Unfortunately, no matter whether it is smoking, or drinking, or whatever addiction your loved one has - until he wants to stop, he cannot and will not. Not for you, his children, his mother, his father, the smallest little one who asks - no matter who, until he honestly wants to, he can't. And he won't. And, even if he tries, he may have to try several times. As my doctor told me - smoking is harder to give up than heroin. Smoking is much more rewarding. We smoke when we are happy, we smoke when we are sad, we smoke and it makes us think better!!! We smoke to calm down. Smoking is a reward - for absolutely everything. And, it is extremely addicting.
Now, on the bright side, Chantix has been a dream come true for me - a former smoker. My husband has COPD - he has had it for several years, yet, until he was ready to quit - he was not going to quit. I quit last year for seven months - and, on day 3 of taking Chantix, I did not want a smoke, nor did I crave one, save, getting in the car after the grocery store. (Yep, weird one.) My husband finally said he would quit, after seeing how well I did - and try the Chantix (prescription). Anyway - we are both going into our 7th month this time, and he too found taking Chantix to help tremendously (in the past, he ran, so he would quit for long periods of time, but he is getting up there in age.) He also started that incredible smoker's hack in the am - and that told him it was time. But....last year when I quit - I never said one word to him about it. Actually, I loved smelling the "2nd hand smoke" - because he smoked in the house. I started back during a visit with my mother, who has dementia, and I am her favorite target for abuse. (She has recently been diagnosed with brain cancer...dementia and brain cancer - what a mix.) But, I knew I would try to quit again.
My father died 3 years ago of pulmonary fibrosis - he never smoked, he was never really around people who smoked, nor in the coal mines or asbestos, etc. It was incredibly sad to watch my strong father, with his oxygen, and him gettin frailer and frailer. I loved my daddy so very much.
So, unless you want to drive yourself crazy trying to control his behavior, and that is what you will be doing, do yourself a favor - and let it go. If he knows what COPD is - and it sounds like the doctor told him and probably gave him literature - well, ... the rest is up to him. But, as for you - maybe if you are spiritual, you may find a way to find peace that way. You really can't control another human being---not without a lot of resentments, his, and yours, and then, as those add up....people break up. And, you never could control someone else (your husband) to begin with. So the cycle goes.
My husband thanked me for NOT riding herd over him - trying to control him. Societly has done its number on smokers - I do so hope that we as 'the ones who know best for all' can do something about obesity now. And then, meat eaters. And fish eaters. And gun owners. Or people who won't own guns. And on and on and on. Give yourself a break - and tell him how much you love him. And, nothing else about smoking. Give it up - give it away. You will feel so much better.
I FIND IT VERY HARD TO BELIEVE ONE CANNOT QUIT SMOKING IF THEY SO DESIRE. I, PERSONALLY, SMOKED 4 PACKS PER DAY FOR 44 PLUS YEARS WHEN I WAS DIAGNOZED WITH COPD AND HAVE BEEN OXYGEN DEPENDENT EVER SINCE. HAVE NOT SMOKED FOR THE LAST 23 YEARS, BUT WAS DIAGNOZED WITH STAGE 4 LUNG CANCER A FEW WEEKS AGO. JUST HAD THE SECOND ROUND OF CHEMO AND AM TOTALLY WIPED OUT, BUT IT BEATS THE ALTERNATIVE. NOONE EVER SAID LIFE WAS FAIR, AS I JUST GOT MARRIED 2 WEEKS BEFORE THE DIAGNOSIS. WHAT A WAY TO SPEND A HONEYMOON?
I'm so sorry to hear what you are dealing with now. I can't even imagine what you going through right now. I will certiantly say a prayer for you and your family.
I agree with the other poster with the fact that smoking IS an addiction, and until that person "WANTS" to or "DESIRES" to make the commitment to quit ,they won't.
I wish you the best.
Take care, and God bless.
Seems I can well relate to what everyone is saying. I was diagnosed October 2007 with moderate COPD. And I am still smoking. Don't get me wrong. I am not proud of it whatsoever. And as my pulmonary doc told me, I am only killing myself. I too lost a parent to idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis. My sweet Momma passed almost a year ago on Aug. 20, 2007. Two months later I was diagnosed with COPD. About 6 mths. before Momma passed away, my only sibling a brother was diagnosed with COPD as well. Momma died 4 mths. after a lung transplant. There were just too many complications and she had fought the IPF so long. My brother and me took Momma's death very hard. We are still grieving. My brother did take Chantix. He stopped smoking for 3 mths. When Momma died, he started smoking again. I have tried the Chantix. I do believe it is a remarkable drug. But, I could not tolerate the Chantix. I am bipolar as well. And certain meds can make the bipolar worse. The Chantix made my bipolar way worse. I worry everyday about having COPD. I have researched it in great detail. I understand the disease. And above all else, I know my COPD has grown worse since diagnosis. Most people in my family get on me hard for smoking. I know it is because they love me. But, when they get on me, it only seems to stress me out more, which then makes me smoke more. I see great changes in my COPD this past year. The hot humid weather this summer has had me panting for breath. Last summer there was some problems with that, but not like this summer. This past winter I was sick quite often. Pneumonia, bronchitis several times and pleurisy. I have never had pneumonia or pleurisy in my life. And I know the cigerettes only complicated these illnesses. I am glad to see summer about over and I dread winter this year. I am having new symptoms during these months. I cannot feel my ring finger nor little finger. They are totally numb and the tingling at times is painful. There is a lot of weakness in that hand. I am very frustrated with that. I cannot even open a lid on a jar. There is no grip anymore. I posted on another forum. And they stated that this is due to my oxygen. I stay so fatigued anymore. I always had such energy. It is a fatigue that I have never experienced before. Like the life has been drained from me. And my memory has gotten somewhat bad. I always had a sharp mind. Not so true anymore. My left ankle is swelling. Possible indications that the lung disease maybe effecting my heart. And the breathing is not good, with coughing and lots of mucus. All this and I am still smoking. I am a total fool for doing this to myself. I just don't understand why I cannot quit. I am a strong person. I know if I continue like this, I am only putting myself in an early grave. And I got family I need to consider as well. I am just glad to be able to confess that I have COPD and am still smoking. I go back to doctor in September. I am getting to the point of oxygen. On the other forum all these symptoms are lack of oxygen related. And if I go on oxygen, I know then that I cannot smoke. It is dangerous to do so around oxygen. A part of me wants to quit and wish I never saw a cigerette. But, there is another part of me that just is not ready to stop. I sit with a cigerette in my hand and the whole time I am smoking it, I am suffering with SOB, coughing, etc. I make no sense even to myself. Thank you everyone for hearing me out. I am new to this forum. I am 51 and have been smoking for 35 years. I want to live as long as this disease will allow. But, if I continue on this path smoking, I know my years are very numbered. I have always been a very anxious person. Smoking always calmed me. But, it is not calming I don't guess, when I am worrying that my COPD is progressing. I just don't get it or me.
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