Unfortunately, no matter whether it is smoking, or drinking, or whatever addiction your loved one has - until he wants
to stop, he cannot and will not. Not for you, his children, his mother, his father, the smallest little one who asks - no matter who, until he honestly wants to, he can't. And he won't. And, even if he tries, he may have to try several times. As my doctor told me - smoking is harder to give up than heroin. Smoking is much more rewarding. We smoke when we are happy, we smoke when we are sad, we smoke and it makes us think better!!! We smoke to calm down. Smoking is a reward - for absolutely everything. And, it is extremely addicting.
Now, on the bright side, Chantix has been a dream come true for me - a former smoker. My husband has COPD - he has had it for several years, yet, until he was ready to quit - he was not going to quit. I quit last year for seven months - and, on day 3 of taking Chantix, I did not want a smoke, nor did I crave one, save, getting in the car after the grocery store. (Yep, weird one.) My husband finally said he would quit, after seeing how well I did - and try the Chantix (prescription). Anyway - we are both going into our 7th month this time, and he too found taking Chantix to help tremendously (in the past, he ran, so he would quit for long periods of time, but he is getting up there in age.) He also started that incredible smoker's hack in the am - and that told him it was time. But....last year when I quit - I never said one word to him about it. Actually, I loved smelling the "2nd hand smoke" - because he smoked in the house. I started back during a visit with my mother, who has dementia, and I am her favorite target for abuse. (She has recently been diagnosed with brain cancer...dementia and brain cancer - what a mix.) But, I knew I would try to quit again.
My father died 3 years ago of pulmonary fibrosis - he never smoked, he was never really around people who smoked, nor in the coal mines or asbestos, etc. It was incredibly sad to watch my strong father, with his oxygen, and him gettin frailer and frailer. I loved my daddy so very much.
So, unless you want to drive yourself crazy trying to control his behavior, and that is what you will be doing, do yourself a favor - and let it go
. If he knows what COPD is - and it sounds like the doctor told him and probably gave him literature - well, ... the rest is up to him. But, as for you - maybe if you are spiritual, you may find a way to find peace that way. You really can't control another human being---not without a lot of resentments, his, and yours, and then, as those add up....people break up. And, you never could control someone else (your husband) to begin with. So the cycle goes.
My husband thanked me for NOT riding herd over him - trying to control him. Societly has done its number on smokers - I do so hope that we as 'the ones who know best for all' can do something about obesity now. And then, meat eaters. And fish eaters. And gun owners. Or people who won't own guns. And on and on and on. Give yourself a break - and tell him how much you love him. And, nothing else about smoking. Give it up - give it away.
You will feel so much better.