It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Lupus Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 11-06-2003, 07:05 AM   #1
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: New Jersey, USA
Posts: 630
PINKYPRISCILLA HB User
Unhappy Angelic Help!!!

Help !!!!

My mom is so depressed, she is home all day and
she is thinking and worrying about her flare up.

She is driving me crazy because I am the only child
she is a widow and wants my undivided attention.
Its guilt trip city !!!!!

What should I do????

 
Old 11-06-2003, 09:02 PM   #2
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 665
AngelicBrat HB UserAngelicBrat HB UserAngelicBrat HB UserAngelicBrat HB UserAngelicBrat HB UserAngelicBrat HB User
Hey Deb!

I think that maybe it would be good to see if your mom could maybe join a support group? How about her doing something that could EMPOWER her in her flare. Like, for me it is coming here to help you guys, as well as donating some time to my local Lupus chapter. Things like that do honestly make us feel better. You could even have a "come and go" tea at your mom's house and invite all of her friends so that she could have a nice day filled with people that love her. Or if things are really bad, perhaps she could see a Psychologist to talk about how she is feeling. And maybe for you Deb it would be good to join a family of a Lupus patient support group maybe. Hope this helps!

Luv, Dana

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 11-07-2003, 06:20 AM   #3
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: New Jersey, USA
Posts: 630
PINKYPRISCILLA HB User
Talking Thanks again Angelic-youre the best!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by AngelicBrat
Hey Deb!

I think that maybe it would be good to see if your mom could maybe join a support group? How about her doing something that could EMPOWER her in her flare. Like, for me it is coming here to help you guys, as well as donating some time to my local Lupus chapter. Things like that do honestly make us feel better. You could even have a "come and go" tea at your mom's house and invite all of her friends so that she could have a nice day filled with people that love her. Or if things are really bad, perhaps she could see a Psychologist to talk about how she is feeling. And maybe for you Deb it would be good to join a family of a Lupus patient support group maybe. Hope this helps!

Luv, Dana
Dana,

Thanks again!!!!!!! You are the best!!!!!

I am so glad that there is someone who understands the emotional side as well
as the physical. When she is toxic, I stayed away from her for a few days then
she comes around and realizes that she is upsetting me too. I guess its normal
to hurt the ones you love who else can you take it out on? I went to the gym to
work out my frustration!!! I know she doesn't mean to be angry it is pretty normal, even in the lupus book it talks of the emotional side. I guess when you
are in pain and the uncertainty of this disease can really depress you.
We are suppose to go out to dinner tonight so If she says she is not up to it , I
will force her to go anyway .....
as for the support group there is a local group that gets together, but she didn't
seem interested.
I am worried about her but worrying isn't good for your health
Thanks!!!!!
Youre an angel

Luv
Pinky

 
Old 11-07-2003, 11:26 AM   #4
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 665
AngelicBrat HB UserAngelicBrat HB UserAngelicBrat HB UserAngelicBrat HB UserAngelicBrat HB UserAngelicBrat HB User
Hi Deb!

I think it is a good idea if you do distance yourself a bit. Not a lot, but you need to take some time for you!~ Good job, you get her out for supper! I sound like a Nazi here but she really will feel better if she does go out sometimes, whether she tells you or not. When we are sick, it is hard to get motivated to get going and do something, but after we do honestly we do feel better! If your mom has some problems going on in her brain, that would be causing the mood swings. Is she on blood thinners right now? I would do a come and go tea for her too! Even if its just for a couple of hours one Sunday afternoon so that she knows that everyone wants to be involved. Sometimes when we are sick we do feel like people can forget about us and move on with life without us. That can cause mood swings too... Anyway I hope that you guys have a nice supper out! Try and fill the conversation with things not related to her being sick. Try and find out some good gossip or something else to talk about. Does your mom have a pet? Sometimes pets can be nice company too. Take care!!

~Luv, Dana

 
Old 11-07-2003, 11:42 AM   #5
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: New Jersey, USA
Posts: 630
PINKYPRISCILLA HB User
Moody Blues

HELLO

Yes I will try to get her to go out, she made excuses
but I will see her after work and drag her out.
I heard oh my hair isn't done, its too cold, etc.,
but she needs to stop thinking and obsessing about
the flare up. Shethinks she is getting worse.
You know she drives me crazy she says when she
sees me she feels better, but I need time to myself
too, Ive been stressed out and feeling anxious too.
If I don't go to see her or call her she comes around
and realizes that she is being unreasonable. I guess
she is just insecure about the situation.
Her granuloma annulare rash is spreading to the other
arm now too so Im sure this wierd rash doesn't help
her worrying either. It is so hard because I work
fulltime, and am married so its hard to juggle her
and a husband I dont' want him to feel neglected
either.
We do have a dog but she is getting old so she is worried
about our westie too so this also adds to her stress.

Luv
Pinky

Last edited by PINKYPRISCILLA; 11-07-2003 at 11:45 AM.

 
Old 11-10-2003, 09:57 AM   #6
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: New Jersey, USA
Posts: 630
PINKYPRISCILLA HB User
Angry still nasty

well, we went out for dinner, had a nice time but she is still nasty and cranky. She is taking it out on me, but Im not going to take it, I will have to distance myself and maybe she will understand why. UGhhh She stresses me out!!!!


Luv
Pinky[/QUOTE]

 
Old 11-10-2003, 01:05 PM   #7
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 665
AngelicBrat HB UserAngelicBrat HB UserAngelicBrat HB UserAngelicBrat HB UserAngelicBrat HB UserAngelicBrat HB User
UGH I am so sorry Deb

Does your mom have any other friends with Lupus she could talk to? It is not a bad thing to distance yourself a bit. You could try and talk to her too, and tell her that you are having trouble with her being so mean to you. Make sure that she knows that you understand that she is having a hard time, but its hard for you to be around her when she is mean to you. Tell her that you are doing the best you can and that you love her very much. Try and get her to a support meeting, it will help both of you!! Take care okay?? I am thinking abotu you guys!

~Luv, Dana

 
Old 11-10-2003, 01:59 PM   #8
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: New Jersey, USA
Posts: 630
PINKYPRISCILLA HB User
thanks for the inspiration!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by AngelicBrat
UGH I am so sorry Deb

Does your mom have any other friends with Lupus she could talk to? It is not a bad thing to distance yourself a bit. You could try and talk to her too, and tell her that you are having trouble with her being so mean to you. Make sure that she knows that you understand that she is having a hard time, but its hard for you to be around her when she is mean to you. Tell her that you are doing the best you can and that you love her very much. Try and get her to a support meeting, it will help both of you!! Take care okay?? I am thinking abotu you guys!

~Luv, Dana
Thanks for the inspiration, I know this is rough but
her toxic attitude isn't helping, I thinks its depression

Later
luv Pinky

 
Closed Thread




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added








TOP THANKED CONTRIBUTORS



VeeJ (173), ladybud (43), AngelicBrat (16), luca689 (7), ksp (6), neveragain444 (6), luvinmusiq (5), brooklyngirl (4), Daisygrace (4), AgedFlowerChild (3)

Site Wide Totals

teteri66 (1180), MSJayhawk (1013), Apollo123 (909), Titchou (856), janewhite1 (823), Gabriel (763), ladybud (755), midwest1 (670), sammy64 (668), BlueSkies14 (607)



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 08:08 PM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!