Jeri

Ahhhhh, Jeannie, My heart goes out to you. I know that this is a time to cherish with your sweet baby and toddler- you shouldn't have to worry about this stuff. But, we all have things we don't want to face for reasons that are way beyond us. Without the Lord's guidance, I wouldn't get very far.
Cherish what you have and know that if you have something that must be treated with strong stuff, your dr will work with you. A very good thing about Lupus is that, although there is no cure- there's plenty that can be done to keep the damage from occurrring if caught early.
You are right about the drugs. All of the ones that I am on right now would be hazardous to your son. (prednisone, plaquenil, methotrexate)- but I call those second level drugs. If you are diagnosed, there are milder things to start with and treatment might not have to be started immediately.
I share some of these posts with my husband, He is amazed at how God puts people in our path to help or to be helped or to encourage.
As you have found out with your husband, it's good that he stays in the loop as we learn about this stuff. You have a special guy, Jeannie. Tell him what I tell mine when we are going thru a hard time and I feel like I'm not holding up my end of the bargain very well: "We're building memeories and we're on an adventure!" We both get a good laugh out of it and it lightens the load.
Jeri