It took my husband years to realize what I go through. I also go through cycles of utter exhaustion. Pace yourself. My doctors finally explained it to my husband and to me this way -- you have only x number of chips to get you through each day. If you use more chips than your body has to spare for each day, then you start to get more exhausted. Each day you use more chips, you get "in debt" and get more tired. The only way to "get back your chips" is to sleep.
Doing too much will deplete your resources, so will stress, and many times - just enduring the day!!!
You need to find a doctor who understands what lupus does to families to talk to your husband. Everyone in the family must learn to help you. This does not mean that you are to become dependent. But, everyone close to you must understand how you react to stress and exhaustion -- and they must be made to understand, that unless you re-charge your batteries, you may become extremely ill and may even die!!! Lupus is a serious disease!
The problem most people around you will have is that you will look "fine", when you feel aweful. They just can't understand that your immune system is attacking yourself -- inside of you. They can understand someone with a broken leg, because they can see it. Your loved ones must become aware that just because they cannot see what hurts you, you are still sick. And you are much more severely ill than someone with a broken leg. Lupus can decide to attack any part of you.
Lupus attacked my unborn babies! I had 9 miscarriages out of 10 pregnancies. Then, it decided to "eat" my ovaries, altogether until I had to have a hysterectomy.
I feel very lucky that lupus has not "turned" on my kidneys or other major organs. But I get tired very easily, get depressed, and get arthritis and migraines.
My husband does finally, "get it", and he still has days when he thinks I am using my lupus to get out of doing things. This is just the way it is. You must get your husband to understand, but it will always be hard for those not afflicted to sympathize with you.
There will always be people who think that you are not really sick, that it is all in your head. But, you need to get your doctor to help make sure that your husband is NOT one of those people.
Also, go to doctors at teaching hospitals, where they have the latest information -- there is so much about lupus that no one understand, so new info is always coming in. Finally, these doctors see so many of the worst cases, that they recognize problems early. Many of the mainstream doctors do not see enough lupus patients and do not study enough about lupus -- that they cannot help you as well.
In lupus, prevention of problems is a better solution that fighting them after they have become severe!!