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Old 02-25-2010, 08:11 AM   #1
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johnstonx5 HB User
Mothers with young children, what do you do

I am wondering what all the mothers with young children at home do when they are in a very bad flare. I am a stay at home mom and it is very common form me to be so fatigued I cannot wake up. I feel as if I have been drugged. My oldest son who is 16 catches a bus at 6:50 in the morning. There are so many mornings he is left to get up and get ready on his own. He don't see me before he leaves. I hate that. It makes me feel like a horrible mother. Sometimes I cry while driving my 6yr old daughter to school (who is late A LOT). I also have a 4yr old who is very very active. I will pass out on the couch and he runs around unsupervised. (cannot happen during the summer because of the pool).
I did take him to a babysitter the other morning so I could come back home and sleep until time to pick my daughter up from school and him from babysitter. Still, there is not enough sleep.
My parents live an hour and a half away. My dad has been sick himself, ulcerative colitis, and my mother works nights so she sleeps during the day. My husbands parents live in the same town but never offer help when I am down like that. If one of them is not working and I need a sitter for an apt they will watch them and they will on other occasions if I ask.
However, if I call and ask just so I can have time to myself and relax she will call everyone in the country and act like i 'dumped' them on her and she is so sick.
She (hubby's mother) called yesterday and asked how I was doing. When I told her it had been really bad and my 4yr old was running around unsupervised she gave me a 'oh, that is scary he could really get hurt'. I said yes he could and it worries me. But, there were no offers to watch him. (good thing I am a little better today)
My husband has called them before and made them aware that I will not ask for my children to stay with them. I feel if they want to see them or want to help me they will ask. (only because of being talked about behind my back will I not ask)
Maybe this is on the wrong board. Just wondering what other mothers do when they are in a horrible flare.

 
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Old 02-25-2010, 02:57 PM   #2
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Re: Mothers with young children, what do you do

I was lucky that my children were grown when I developed lupus. I really don't know how young mothers deal with kids and flares. I would suggest you find a preschool for the 4 year old so he has something to do on a regular basis. That also gives you scheduled time to rest. Any way you could set up a car pool for the 6 year old? Does the school have an afterschool program? Your 16 year old is old enough to understand. Check the LFA site for information on talking with children. Give his some special time. I'm not good in the morning either. Can you husband take over the early morning tasks?

 
Old 02-25-2010, 03:10 PM   #3
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johnstonx5 HB User
Re: Mothers with young children, what do you do

Quote:
Originally Posted by heidiclouser View Post
I was lucky that my children were grown when I developed lupus. I really don't know how young mothers deal with kids and flares. I would suggest you find a preschool for the 4 year old so he has something to do on a regular basis. That also gives you scheduled time to rest. Any way you could set up a car pool for the 6 year old? Does the school have an afterschool program? Your 16 year old is old enough to understand. Check the LFA site for information on talking with children. Give his some special time. I'm not good in the morning either. Can you husband take over the early morning tasks?
My husband works rotating 12hr shifts. When he works nights and gets home in the morning he will help make sure my oldest has caught the bus by 6:50. Setting up a car pool would be great the only problem with that is we live far outside of town in a very small cul-de-sac. I am pretty sure one family is not interested in car pool and the other I don't want to get too friendly with. My 4yr old did not turn 4 until dec so he did not qualify for pre-school. And if I am not going to school or working the extra $300. a month becomes a lot of money for a sitter a couple days a week. Sad thing is he loves to go to his sitters. He actually gets upset that he can't go. (i am sure because I am out of it most the time here... it breaks my heart)

I did ask my mother in law to watch my 4yr old tomorrow while i had the test run. She offered to change her schedule around but I will still not be out in time. I canceled my morning CT because my daughter has a play at school and she would be heartbroken if no one came. I got lucky though, they had an opening for later in the day.

The only problem now is what to do with my little one. I will take him if I have too. Geez that is a lot of whining for one day.

 
Old 03-25-2010, 09:51 PM   #4
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krysta HB User
Re: Mothers with young children, what do you do

i know exactly what you mean i have that same problem....my husband gets up with the kids if they get up in the middle of the night,and gets up with them in the morning so that i can get the proper rest that i need and not have to worry about passing out mid-day from exhaustion n lack of sleep

 
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