[A week ago I felt well enough to paint. PAINTING!!!! PAINTING!!!! WHOO HOO!!! I was on a LADDER with a PAINT BRUSH in my hands!!! I was so happy that I was painting, singing to some country music, thanking God and crying at the same time.]
Sorry - I had to shout that out.
> So, last Saturday, not having done anything different or spectacular, I awoke and out-of-the-blue felt well enough to paint.
> Wednesday, I felt symptoms returning.
> Thursday & Friday I couldn't make it through the day without a nap.
> Yesterday I was vomitting for 12 hours and wishing I was dead.
> Now, I just got back from grocery shopping, I'm doing laundry and paying bills online, feeling pretty much ok.
I always thought recovery would be a gradual progression.
Then, my mind starts its little game and I start to think that this was a fluke and that, no, I'm not feeling better. Jeez -- when will I learn to stop thinking?
Is recovery so up and down like this?
I guess I feel better than I did last year, but has anyone else experienced the horrible days suddenly puncuated by good days then go back to horrible again?
Painting.... that is awesome. I have so much of that to do. I know what you mean about jinxing yourself. I feel that way too. When I saw Dr E afew weeks ago I was telling her afew things that I thought were better, but had been only for about 1-2 weeks. While I'm telling her I'm knocking on the wood chair arm. She probabally thinks I'm nuts, maybe not nuts just funny. LOL.
Who knows if the slight downturn was a) symptoms getting worse, b) stomach problems caused by meds c) a NORMAL stomach bug.
Since you rebounded right away and are back on track it was probabally c. I overanalyze things and make myself crazy. I don't recommend it. I don't know about you guys but I feel like I think about this 24/7. Gotta get a life....someday...
Keep up the good work Mickie. If you're on a roll with the painting come over to my house. I'll clean brushes and get you lunch!
Yes, I agree, it is a rollercoaster type of healing. Yesterday I was so good that I vacuumed, did wash literally ALL day long, (up and down 2 flights of stairs per load!) changed beds, made a roast dinner and today it's "not even out of nightclothes day".......
but I've learned over the years to not "expect" steady anything, whether it's healing or feeling worse. Even when I "pace" myself the next day or two still aren't great....sighhhh still working on being constantly "Flexible" in what's left of my mind...LOL
If I look back over YEARS of this disease, I'm definitely better in some ways - and worse in others....so it's kind of like being stuck in glue.........
Ilike your analogy of the "do laundry & make a roast" days versus the "not even out of the nightclothes" days.
I've spent the last year & a half (at least) living in sweats and sleeping in the same sweats and waking up in the same sweats and spending the day in those same sweats then sleeping in them again, and on and on for a week or more. Showering was the exception I'm sad to say.
This week I've bathed 2 nights in a row. Sounds like an insane person writing those words, but its true.
I hope the "laundry & make a roast" days come more often for you. Glue doesn't become you.
Yes, I understand the sweats thing - Unfortunately I'm "so hot" LOL, literally, all the time except for the odd times that I'm "so cold" that I can only wear summer lightweight gowns most of the time, and sleep with the window open even on those freezing days....hubby needs a hat and socks and a blanket even on warm summer days! Sort of like that "Jack Sprat" rhyme...one of those things I never expected in almost 50 years of wedded bliss...LOL...it's a challenge!
So he always has to answer the door and I put on a light robe when I'm home alone and have to answer it...Thanks, Tickie! blaaaaagh!
I am pretty much always in pajamas unless for the rare occasion that I leave the house... I am in pain and want to feel as comfortable as I can, so I have tons of pjs... I think I would rather get new pjs than new clothes if I had the choice haha. I wish I was well enough to spend time on trying to look pulled together and immaculate... but I just can't handle that much right now.. I have absolutely no energy for it.. If I could make lunch for myself, that is a good day right now.
"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars" - Oscar Wilde
Remission and relapse seem to be part of this illness. When I am in the remission phase, not only I am happy to be feeling well again, but I often think (and so far, mistakenly) that maybe I am completely well, which invariably leads to overdoing. It is hard to believe that it is necessary to pace oneself when you can once again do many of the things you used to do.
This has been one of my greatest downfalls in handling this illness. You would think that after 13 years I would know the drill. Maybe it's like "having one moment of wonderful" no matter what the cost. Wasn't that from the movie with Sally Fields and Julie Roberts where Julia Roberts died?