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Old 05-07-2006, 07:21 PM   #1
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6Blues HB User6Blues HB User6Blues HB User
Is recovery a roller coaster?

Hi guys. This is strange....

[A week ago I felt well enough to paint. PAINTING!!!! PAINTING!!!! WHOO HOO!!! I was on a LADDER with a PAINT BRUSH in my hands!!! I was so happy that I was painting, singing to some country music, thanking God and crying at the same time.]

Sorry - I had to shout that out.

> So, last Saturday, not having done anything different or spectacular, I awoke and out-of-the-blue felt well enough to paint.

> Wednesday, I felt symptoms returning.

> Thursday & Friday I couldn't make it through the day without a nap.

> Yesterday I was vomitting for 12 hours and wishing I was dead.

> Now, I just got back from grocery shopping, I'm doing laundry and paying bills online, feeling pretty much ok.

I always thought recovery would be a gradual progression.

Then, my mind starts its little game and I start to think that this was a fluke and that, no, I'm not feeling better. Jeez -- when will I learn to stop thinking?

Is recovery so up and down like this?

I guess I feel better than I did last year, but has anyone else experienced the horrible days suddenly puncuated by good days then go back to horrible again?

Last edited by 6Blues; 05-07-2006 at 07:22 PM.

 
Old 05-08-2006, 06:20 AM   #2
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Re: Is recovery a roller coaster?

Hi Mickie,

I didn't know you were painting last weekend, good for you!

It seems like this disease is always 2 steps forward, 1 step back, so it is a roller coaster ride. I think the idea is to just go with it and don't fight it, don't analyze it, just go with the flow!

I know you are busy working so I guess you can't keep a log of your good days and bad? Can you keep a computer diary? You may find out that you are having more good days compared to bad ones.

Just the fact that you put in all those hours every week working is a great sign!

Also, weren't you taking that antibiotic that made you sick to your stomach? Maybe that had something to do with this. Ut oh, I'm analyzing again! LOL!

Feel good!
Denise

 
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Old 05-08-2006, 07:23 AM   #3
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Re: Is recovery a roller coaster?

Hi DJ.

Yes, I was painting but I didn't tell anyone. It was one of my immature moments when I thought that if I didn't tell anyone, I wouldn't junx myself. LOL

You're right - I need to cool my jets and relax and enjoy any good moments that come my way.

I did stop that abx that turned my stomach inside out. It was too harsh for me. I always had doubts about that one (Tindamax) - its a potential carcinogen.

I do keep a chart. I've charted every day's health for the past 17 months, if you can believe it. I do review it, looking for patterns, etc.

I'll just smile on those days when I wake up feeling ok and thank God for the moment.

Peace and health to you my friend.

Last edited by 6Blues; 05-08-2006 at 07:23 AM.

 
Old 05-08-2006, 10:22 AM   #4
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Re: Is recovery a roller coaster?

Hi Mickie

Painting.... that is awesome. I have so much of that to do. I know what you mean about jinxing yourself. I feel that way too. When I saw Dr E afew weeks ago I was telling her afew things that I thought were better, but had been only for about 1-2 weeks. While I'm telling her I'm knocking on the wood chair arm. She probabally thinks I'm nuts, maybe not nuts just funny. LOL.

Who knows if the slight downturn was a) symptoms getting worse, b) stomach problems caused by meds c) a NORMAL stomach bug.

Since you rebounded right away and are back on track it was probabally c. I overanalyze things and make myself crazy. I don't recommend it. I don't know about you guys but I feel like I think about this 24/7. Gotta get a life....someday...

Keep up the good work Mickie. If you're on a roll with the painting come over to my house. I'll clean brushes and get you lunch!

Kim

Is your appointment in Philly this week?

 
Old 05-08-2006, 10:25 AM   #5
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Re: Is recovery a roller coaster?

Absolutey it is a roller coaster (and I've never liked roller coasters). One day I was out hiking, then I was thinking I was loosing my mind.

That is part of what is so incredibly hard with this disease.

Know that your body doesn know what it is like to have those good days and they will come again.

Glad you got to do some painting!

Jeanne

 
Old 05-08-2006, 10:37 AM   #6
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battling on HB User
Re: Is recovery a roller coaster?

Hi 6 blues
1st thing im thinking is you picked up a bug so your sytem would feel low a few days before if taht what the vomitng was.

Now out of your system you arepicking up again.

That feeling when you can DO!
isnt it glouriuse, magical i have such a stretched smile any one would think i was haveing cheeck spasms.

Even if we didnt have lyme a bug would hit us liek that knocn on your butt for a good 3 days.

Hope thats what it was and your energetic , wonderfull days will be long and sunny

and yeap rollercoaster it is, with or with out a bug,
ive moniterd a herx every 4 3 weeks, have 2 good days every 2 weeks, less than i hoped but better than none.

take care
Juels xx

 
Old 05-08-2006, 02:14 PM   #7
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Re: Is recovery a roller coaster?

Thanks guys. I'm glad to share instead of keeping things like this to myself. Jinx or no jinx.

Today is a good also. Go figure.

Trying like the dickens to keep my mind from asking 'How long will this last? Is this a brief respite? When will I feel bad again?"

Ok, Mickie, make with the postive thoughts!!

I used to love roller coasters. LOL

 
Old 05-08-2006, 02:23 PM   #8
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Re: Is recovery a roller coaster?

Another thought just occured to me .... it was selfish of me to not share a good day when I don't hesitate to share a bad day.

I should think of others getting hope from my painting stories instead of any jinxing that may happen.

Hmm. I will post about my good days and pray that it gives hope to some.


 
Old 05-08-2006, 03:30 PM   #9
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Re: Is recovery a roller coaster?

Yes, I agree, it is a rollercoaster type of healing. Yesterday I was so good that I vacuumed, did wash literally ALL day long, (up and down 2 flights of stairs per load!) changed beds, made a roast dinner and today it's "not even out of nightclothes day".......

but I've learned over the years to not "expect" steady anything, whether it's healing or feeling worse. Even when I "pace" myself the next day or two still aren't great....sighhhh still working on being constantly "Flexible" in what's left of my mind...LOL


If I look back over YEARS of this disease, I'm definitely better in some ways - and worse in others....so it's kind of like being stuck in glue.........

 
Old 05-08-2006, 05:37 PM   #10
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Re: Is recovery a roller coaster?

like being stuck in glue. That's a perfect description, that's how I feel too. Everything is so much harder than it should be and when you do one thing you have to rest.

 
Old 05-08-2006, 05:38 PM   #11
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Re: Is recovery a roller coaster?

Hi gerribear. Good to hear from you.

Ilike your analogy of the "do laundry & make a roast" days versus the "not even out of the nightclothes" days.

I've spent the last year & a half (at least) living in sweats and sleeping in the same sweats and waking up in the same sweats and spending the day in those same sweats then sleeping in them again, and on and on for a week or more. Showering was the exception I'm sad to say.

This week I've bathed 2 nights in a row. Sounds like an insane person writing those words, but its true.

I hope the "laundry & make a roast" days come more often for you. Glue doesn't become you.

Peace and health to you.

 
Old 05-08-2006, 05:51 PM   #12
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Re: Is recovery a roller coaster?

Yes, a rollercoaster... Mental, emotional, Physical, every type of "al" there is

Last edited by Smyle; 05-08-2006 at 05:51 PM.

 
Old 05-08-2006, 06:38 PM   #13
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Re: Is recovery a roller coaster?

Thanks, 6blues:

Yes, I understand the sweats thing - Unfortunately I'm "so hot" LOL, literally, all the time except for the odd times that I'm "so cold" that I can only wear summer lightweight gowns most of the time, and sleep with the window open even on those freezing days....hubby needs a hat and socks and a blanket even on warm summer days! Sort of like that "Jack Sprat" rhyme...one of those things I never expected in almost 50 years of wedded bliss...LOL...it's a challenge!

So he always has to answer the door and I put on a light robe when I'm home alone and have to answer it...Thanks, Tickie! blaaaaagh!

 
Old 05-08-2006, 11:29 PM   #14
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Re: Is recovery a roller coaster?

I am pretty much always in pajamas unless for the rare occasion that I leave the house... I am in pain and want to feel as comfortable as I can, so I have tons of pjs... I think I would rather get new pjs than new clothes if I had the choice haha. I wish I was well enough to spend time on trying to look pulled together and immaculate... but I just can't handle that much right now.. I have absolutely no energy for it.. If I could make lunch for myself, that is a good day right now.
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Old 05-09-2006, 03:51 AM   #15
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Re: Is recovery a roller coaster?

Remission and relapse seem to be part of this illness. When I am in the remission phase, not only I am happy to be feeling well again, but I often think (and so far, mistakenly) that maybe I am completely well, which invariably leads to overdoing. It is hard to believe that it is necessary to pace oneself when you can once again do many of the things you used to do.

This has been one of my greatest downfalls in handling this illness. You would think that after 13 years I would know the drill. Maybe it's like "having one moment of wonderful" no matter what the cost. Wasn't that from the movie with Sally Fields and Julie Roberts where Julia Roberts died?

Prema

 
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