Hi Rod. Mickie here.
Just wanted to say I think of you often.
I am both happy and sad to hear your test results. I recall when my WB came back CDC positive. I was angry and happy at the same time. Happy because FINALLY I had a label for my strange and worsening illness; angry because I knew there was going to be one helluva fight ahead of me.
I loved your post "Dear Mom". I replied so many times, but either I stated too little or I wrote for an hour and didn't feel it was appropriate to post a 2 or 3 pager about how much I relate.
I love that post because so very many times I simply want to tell someone what kind of day I had, or if I felt really sad and melancholy or if I did something brave and I needed a pat on the back with an "atta girl!".
Sometimes I write. I used to keep a journal but I don't think I could handle the handwriting. Now I keep an electronic journal but I lost it 3 weeks ago with a hard drive crash.
Sometimes I send myself emails, just because I feel the urge so strong to tell a story or curse someone out or I feel like begging for sympathy or I'm proud of something I did.
I am so happy to hear that you met a nice woman friend. I'd give my next 5 paychecks to meet a guy or girl friend who will stick with me.
I am struggling with an issue now where I feel that 99% of the people I ever met (and thought of as friends) turned out to be big phony's.
If I knew that a neighbor, old friend, new friend, brother, sister, parent, or even aquaintance was suffering with a long term illness - I'd never in a million years ignore them and distance myself!! I would do the opposite - I would call or stop by with groceries once in a while or give them support and lend a hand or a shoulder to cry on or just an ear to listen.
I feel so alone most of the time. Even my kids (my only social network at this time) are sick of hearing me talk about Lyme (I don't blame them though).
Remember I'm thinking of you!
I hope things with your new lady friend, your insurance company and your employer work out. With those test results in your hand, you know what you're up against and knowledge is power (as sleeper always says).
Try not to worry. When I worry, I remind myself that EVERYTHING depends on my health. I could lose my job, my insurance, my house, what ever. Once I get my health back, we'd be back in the money in no time at all.
Peace and health to you my friend,