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Old 09-14-2007, 10:00 AM   #1
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Smile Much pain, weird things afoot and I'm still alive

hi my friends. i know i have barely been online and i miss everyone.

i have been on i.v. rocephin for 14 weeks and so far, my insurance company is still paying. dont what i stepped in to be this lucky.

i am still on biaxin. i am on wellbutrin and thyroid.

i started levaquin again 12 weeks ago. last time i was on, i had regular herx's and after 9 months i felt so very much better.

this time - whoa nelly! it's much much worse. foot pain, leg pain, all over pain. it feels like my skin and my bones are on fire and were hit by a truck. it takes 5 minutes to get out of bed. the pain is just everywhere and it is quite intense.

my body, eyes, skin bones, muscles and even my hair hurts. i have the willies all the time. my skin feels so frappin' sensitive. i stopped my b12 shots 'cuz the thought of sticking myself is unimaginable.

i get goosebumps and the willies when do my heparin, and my i.v. - my skin just crawls. never had this feeling before, ever. i don't even like me touching my skin, it's a strange feeling of oversensitivity.

last week my balance went completely out the window. i'm falling over the place. in public,in my bathroom, when i exit my truck. it's embarrassing. instead of lending a hand and asking if i'm ok, ppls just stare. so then i start to cry which makes me appear even more like a psycho.

my mood is very dark, always crying, thinking when would be the best time to overdose, i can't even listen to my ipod or the radio - i just start bawling my eyes out.

i break out in spots.

my eyes are freaking out. i have bright spots in my field of vision, everything is fuzzy as if suddenly my perfect 20/20 went out the window. sometimes when i look at something light or bright, then i turn my vision away, the bright image follows in a stuttering way, like a swipe. that drives me nuts. my eyes are very sensitive to bright light. if i look at my kitchen light, my eyes hurt.

i've also had spells of vertigo.

i had about a full week of nights where i could not sleep no matter how tired i was. i would up till 3, 4 or 5am. that was just awful.

now i find that i can't sleep enough.

this herx has been about 2 weeks long so far. it's exhausting for me to deal with this suffering. i'm so tired and drained all the time.

my son has his 1st ever football game today and he asked me to be there. the thought of washing up, brushing my teeth and finding clean clothes just makes me cry.

i keep reminding myself that this misery is all worth it. i remind myself that is a good sign since it means the levaquin is killing lyme and baretonella.

it hurts to type so i am logging off now. just wanted to pop in, vent a bit about my boo-boo's, and say hello.

i'm in lurking mode lately. so i'm still here but just not doing much posting.
i miss you guys.

peace and health to all,
mickie

 
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Old 09-14-2007, 10:18 AM   #2
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Re: Much pain, weird things afoot and I'm still alive

Hi mickie,
good to hear from you! Sorry you are feeling bad, but hopefully you are on the road to recovery. I'm waiting for my llmd app. on oct. 3rd. can't wait. I need to start moving forward. Or back, but this limbo s***, is so depressing, and stressful. I hope you feel better SOON! take care. mc

 
Old 09-14-2007, 02:22 PM   #3
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Re: Much pain, weird things afoot and I'm still alive

Hey Mcblues-

Long time no see...

Please hang in there. I am sorry that you are feeling so bad. Remember all those down times in the past? If you just hang on they will pass and you'll be out sailing again.

I still have the disequilibrium and vision issues, just like you described. What ever it is we have, you and I are in the same boat.

Please take it easy on yourself. I am thinking about you and sending good thoughts your way...

Last edited by Smyle; 09-14-2007 at 02:23 PM.

 
Old 09-14-2007, 06:25 PM   #4
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Re: Much pain, weird things afoot and I'm still alive

Hi MicB...I been waiting to hear from you...When do you go see the doc again? I know it is a heck of a roller coaster to go through all of this...but you just try and hang in there.

I know I will sound like a broken record but are you detoxing...You have to get those dang dead bugs out of your system. Possibly get some more of the Jernigan detox tonic...and get your fanny in that detox bath again.

Keep fighting forward...remember you are sooooo much better than 3 months ago. don't give in to this crap...you've come to far babyyyyy...haha...think there is a commerical that says that....lol...

Keep smiling...know always that you are very much loved here. I know it ALWAYS brightens my day when I see you sparkling on here.

Holding your hand....

hugs


 
Old 09-14-2007, 08:21 PM   #5
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Re: Much pain, weird things afoot and I'm still alive

I wish I could give you a big hug. I'm almost in tears reading your post. I wish I could say something that would make you feel better. As weird as it sounds, just keep crying...you have so much emotional trauma pent up inside of you and you need to let it out.

I'm glad to hear that you're insurance is still paying. They are probably so wrapped up in their bureaucracy that it will be a long time before they realize that they are still paying for your antibiotics. In cases like these...thank GOD for bureaucracy!

Hang in their sweet pea. I'm lifting you up in prayer.

 
Old 09-15-2007, 06:45 AM   #6
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Re: Much pain, weird things afoot and I'm still alive

Hi Mickie. I am sorry you are feeling so bad. I think you should let your doctor know, especially since you are feeling so down.

It sounds like you are on a lot of meds, it may be beneficial to reduce or eliminate one of them.

 
Old 09-15-2007, 08:42 PM   #7
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Re: Much pain, weird things afoot and I'm still alive

Hang in there sweets, I'm thinking about you and will remember you tonight in my prayers.

 
Old 09-16-2007, 06:52 AM   #8
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Re: Much pain, weird things afoot and I'm still alive

Mickie, how are you?

 
Old 09-16-2007, 11:43 AM   #9
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Re: Much pain, weird things afoot and I'm still alive

whew - I made it through!

Yesterday I was able to walk without major pain. Today also.

My eyes aren't as bad and my balance is still bad, but I can walk down the hallway to the bathroom without falling over.

I should've posted earlier. Your words helped me to push through my suffering.

So, I made it through. whew. I hope the next Herx isn't as bad.

I'm glad I stuck it out. I feel that I killed a lot of bacteria in the last two weeks.

Thanks everyone, for your words and encouragement and the positive thoughts. Your support helped me get through the last few days.

I'll keep an eye out over the next 3-4 weeks to see if I Herx again.

Thanks again everyone. It was comforting to know there were ppl out there cheering me on.

Peace and health to all,
Mickie

 
Old 09-16-2007, 11:50 AM   #10
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Re: Much pain, weird things afoot and I'm still alive

Glad to hear you are doing better....

You GO Girl!

sending you Smiles and Hugs....


 
Old 09-16-2007, 12:43 PM   #11
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Re: Much pain, weird things afoot and I'm still alive

Thanks joyjoy.

Hugs and warm wishes coming your way too.


 
Old 09-16-2007, 01:17 PM   #12
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Re: Much pain, weird things afoot and I'm still alive

Mickie, I am so glad the intensity has let up!

 
Old 09-16-2007, 04:56 PM   #13
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Re: Much pain, weird things afoot and I'm still alive

Thanks Ticker.

I appreciate your support and your suggestions.

Health and peace to you my friend!


 
Old 09-19-2007, 08:35 PM   #14
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Re: Much pain, weird things afoot and I'm still alive

Mickie
My prayers go with you. I know how it is to fight these tough battles lift throws at us. But you are strong and you will win this battle. Glad you are still on the injections. Like someone else said, hope it gets so lost in the paperwork that you continue for a couple more months.

So glad to hear from the rest of you. I do come in and check once in a while. Hope each of you are winning the lyme war.

Ambien couple hours ago is kicking in and its time to go to bed. Will check back tomorrow and give you an update.

Prayers
Marsha

 
Old 09-19-2007, 09:41 PM   #15
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Re: Much pain, weird things afoot and I'm still alive

Hello friends (you guys seem like more like family)

I spoke too soon. I had a day and a half of relief and it came back.

My skin is hypersensitive, my eyesight is just horrid, pain everywhere and my balance went away.

I'll keep plodding along and pray that there are good days at the other end of this monster herx.

My insurance company paid for another 2 weeks of I.V. Holoy cow - I have no idea how I got so lucky.

How is everyone else doing?

Marsha - soooooooooooooo good to hear from you! How's life treating you? How you feeling lately? What's the latest on your treatment/illness?

Peace and health to all,
Mickie

 
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