I feel terrible today
My backstory is I was infected in 1998. Wasn't treated until Bells in 99 and was severely undertreated. In fact, my LLMD said 'well that's an interesting treatment no wonder you're not well'
So the past years i've dealt with the peaks and valleys and the authritis and joint issues. But since I turned 30 it's really REALLY been taking a toll on me.
My LLMD ordered 19 blood tests as well as an MRI. He was away last week, so the MRI didn't get signed off.....i have been putting off the blood tests, as i wanted to do them the same day as the MRI.....but i might just do them to get it started.
But man. My entire right side is misbehaving. I feel so disconnected, tingly, when i was playing golf (in a cart, walking too much hurts) i literally thought I had to stop on hole 1 as my leg was almost all numb.
My right hand is swollen like a baloon and my back is KILLING ME.
I drank a lot yesterday to try and de stress and that wasn't wise. As soon as he puts me on ABX i'm done with drinking.
I just had to vent as I feel so so so low today. And in pain. And I cried my eyes out to my husband in my drunken state last night.
I just want to feel better. Feel normal. My husband said to me today:
I'm looking forward to seeing you smile more and wince less.
I'm also taking half a xanax every day to try and control my panicing about all of this. But i'm wondering if I should go back on something else.