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Old 12-02-2007, 05:26 PM   #1
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Feelings

Stress, pressure....fear.

These are feelings of any human being.
Love and sadness, what do they have in common.
Strength, weakness...they teater so closely.
Wisdom, foregiveness, uncertainty.

It takes a powerful soul to use these feelings and rise.
I give in to my own weaknesses and feel guilty about them.
I don't know the answers but I have clues and I wish I had the bliss of not knowing.

Power comes from within your soul but it doesn't come for free.
They say I am strong but I am the only one who can feel what I feel.

Don't we all love the stories of the underdog. I feel that that is who I am but deny it is me.

I should not feel his way, but I am human.
I have feelings and they hurt.

I am lost in this assignment of life. It is not what I thought this life would come to be.

Strange life is.

 
Old 12-02-2007, 07:57 PM   #2
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Re: Feelings

Sendng you Hugs! Yep Life can sure throw some crappo ones way...We can either sink or swim....think from what I read on these post majority of us are survivors...

Hang in there Rodney!

Stay Strong..it is okay to feel the pain.

Holding your hand!


 
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Old 12-03-2007, 05:40 AM   #3
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Re: Feelings

Rodney,

You give more people hope then you realize... Whenever I come to the board I always hope you have a new post.. you are very knowledgeable, you always give people hope and you have an ability to put your feelings into words better then anyone.. I look up to you... you are one person who has been through this with me since the day I got diagnosed.. whether you realize that or not.. Stay strong.. we are all here for you !!!

Kelly

 
Old 12-03-2007, 03:04 PM   #4
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Re: Feelings

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..................||.................... .

 
Old 12-04-2007, 04:24 AM   #5
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Re: Feelings

wow, you been looking in my windows??
wow

know what you mean - so much

along with another poster i say "Stay Strong..it is okay to feel the pain."

and thank you for putting my feelings into words. The chronic part of this can just be soo draining. . . in addition to the not feeling well is all this uncertainty and way too little actual help.

Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers. What would we all do without this board??

Jo

 
Old 12-04-2007, 05:10 AM   #6
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Re: Feelings

Wow Rodney that is beautiful! Very Creative

Hang in there we all Love you here!


 
Old 12-04-2007, 09:12 AM   #7
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Re: Feelings

Thanks all

 
Old 12-06-2007, 09:57 PM   #8
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Re: Feelings

Rodney, will you either stop reading my mind or get healed and stop posting here?

I'm only kidding hon - would never want you to leave this place!

I may be alone on this one ... but I absolutely HATE it when people tell me that I'm "strong".

I'm not strong. There is NO difference between me and the next person other than the fact that I did what needed to be done. I'm not special, I'm not made of anything different.

A few months ago I was on the phone with my mom and she said, that out of her 5 kids that I was "the strong one". What on earth does that mean??

I guess my feelings go in cycles:
- I feel sick but I deal with it
- But dealing with it doesn't make it better
- I lie in bed and wonder "why me?"
- I feel depressed when I realize that it's just random bad luck that the tick bit me
- I resolve to put mind over matter and will myself to fight this
- Willing myself to fight this doesn't work
- I feel total despair that this is what I feel like for the rest of my life and I want to give up, get my kids through college, then kill myself
- I get out of suicide mode and I feel sick but I deal with it
- But dealing with it doesn't make it better

I don't mean to be a downer, just honest about how I feel.

I cannot fathom why some of my friends and family have detached themselves from me in my hour of need ... I was such a nice, generous person to them.

I know, I know - I shouldn't do things for others if I expect something in return. At the time I didn't expect anything in return. But now ... well ... I guess I always thought that the seeds I had sown would come back and feed my soul.

I also wonder, if I lived my life to be such a nice person, why did this crap happen to me?!?!?

I worked hard to get the fit and healthy body that I had and it was taken away.

I loved dancing; the music flowed through me and I moved like no one moved; people stood around the floor to watch me, and that was taken away.

I loved the beach. Being where the land met the ocean made me feel so peaceful. How big could my troubles seem big when I was standing at the edge of a continent gazing and walking next to something so much bigger than myself? I went with my kids and dog to watch moon rises and planets rises and eclipses and metoer showers. If I was in a bad mood, a walk on my beach healed me. I went there winter, summer, spring and fall but it was taken away from me.

I know I'm sound like I'm sitting on the pity pot ... but how does one get a "positive" attitude? Beats me.

Thanks for posting this Rodney; it got me thinking. Wish we could meet over a cup of joe and just chat.

Peace and health to you,
Mickie

 
Old 12-07-2007, 06:48 AM   #9
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Re: Feelings

MicB, Dr. Eiras's office should have something for you..by the name Mickie...

I'm sorry you are having a tough time of it. I feel the pain, I still have a hard time explaining myself. And people look at me like WHY aren't you working. My muscles still go weak on me at times, My mind still doesn't function with these aliens on my head at times. Pretty weird stuff!

But I have learned to tell people to flippin back off when they are intruding on MY space with their tiny little problems such as I got fired from my job cause of my attitude. (long story) But how can I feel sad for someone that has their head up their butt. And that is the only problem they have! I backed off from that person. I learned I don't have to keep trying to have freinds when it is only ONE sided. Or they EXCEPT me to feel sorry for them and give them money that I don't have myself.

I know that one day I am going to be older and not have money saved and most likely living in a little hole in the wall. Having to give up my four legged kids cause I am kind of stuck in this rut...BUT the good news is....right now today I LOVE where I live and I feel blessed. Things in the future will work out, always have. Because I know I am strong willed. A survivor. I learned I can ONLY count on myself. No one else. God will always have a hand in my life. And once this old carcus is gone I will be in a much happier place. (I hope)

I feel luckier than I use to be and luckier than some cause I know what I have and I am better. Not Cured...but better.

I am holding out my hand for anyone to hold on to. It is WONDERFUL that we all have some place to go and share our lives.

HUGS to you all!!!!

It is a hard time of the year. Nothing wrong in feeling blue. Just make sure to come up for air.

Right now I have a bath tub full of 4 week old pups. Sending you all puppy hugs too. They were left out in the rain and cold frozen to the bone. See us humans aren't the only ones that get messed with.




 
Old 12-07-2007, 02:14 PM   #10
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Re: Feelings

Mickie

I have to tell you I feel the same way. I try very hard to be positive but the thoughts of why haven't I reaped what I've sown creeps in everyday. I am so disappointed in many. I try not to focus on it but it is hard.

Keep your head up and put one foot in front of the other. We will get to the other side of this.

Kim

 
Old 12-07-2007, 08:53 PM   #11
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Re: Feelings

Testing edit.

Last edited by itsmylife; 12-13-2007 at 08:36 AM.

 
Old 12-07-2007, 08:56 PM   #12
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Re: Feelings

Quote:
Originally Posted by jojo View Post
MicB, Dr. Eiras's office should have something for you..by the name Mickie...

I'm sorry you are having a tough time of it. I feel the pain, I still have a hard time explaining myself. And people look at me like WHY aren't you working. My muscles still go weak on me at times, My mind still doesn't function with these aliens on my head at times. Pretty weird stuff!

But I have learned to tell people to flippin back off when they are intruding on MY space with their tiny little problems such as I got fired from my job cause of my attitude. (long story) But how can I feel sad for someone that has their head up their butt. And that is the only problem they have! I backed off from that person. I learned I don't have to keep trying to have freinds when it is only ONE sided. Or they EXCEPT me to feel sorry for them and give them money that I don't have myself.

I know that one day I am going to be older and not have money saved and most likely living in a little hole in the wall. Having to give up my four legged kids cause I am kind of stuck in this rut...BUT the good news is....right now today I LOVE where I live and I feel blessed. Things in the future will work out, always have. Because I know I am strong willed. A survivor. I learned I can ONLY count on myself. No one else. God will always have a hand in my life. And once this old carcus is gone I will be in a much happier place. (I hope)

I feel luckier than I use to be and luckier than some cause I know what I have and I am better. Not Cured...but better.

I am holding out my hand for anyone to hold on to. It is WONDERFUL that we all have some place to go and share our lives.

HUGS to you all!!!!

It is a hard time of the year. Nothing wrong in feeling blue. Just make sure to come up for air.

Right now I have a bath tub full of 4 week old pups. Sending you all puppy hugs too. They were left out in the rain and cold frozen to the bone. See us humans aren't the only ones that get messed with.




Jo, you're one of my favorites.

 
Old 12-08-2007, 04:58 AM   #13
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Re: Feelings

Thank You...as you have touched my soul also.

 
Old 12-08-2007, 09:30 AM   #14
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Re: Feelings

Quote:
Originally Posted by jojo View Post
Thank You...as you have touched my soul also.
The numeric riddle is for you also jo

 
Old 12-10-2007, 06:10 AM   #15
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Re: Feelings

hmmmmm pretty trippy riddle....

Hope everyone is having a better day today!

Hugs to you all....


 
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